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Original poster

Gender scan ruined??

186 replies

MrsHalli · 27/10/2019 19:23

Me and my husband went for our 20 week scan not wanting to know the gender so it would be a nice surprise at birth. We made it clear at the start that we didn't want to know the gender. However our sonographer came out and said 'I only know the sex because' it' got in the way'.... I feel like they have now ruined our surprise as I believe that makes it obvious it's a boy and they were referring to a willy.
Has anyone else been told this and been proven wrong?

OP posts:
Treaclepie19 · 27/10/2019 19:57

As someone who has had bad news at scans that led to a TFMR, this is such a small issue. Try not to dwell on it.

Naillig222 · 27/10/2019 19:57

I highly doubt a 20 week fetus has a willy that is big enough to be 'in the way' of anything. So my guess would be that the sonographer meant the genitalia was clear to see on the screen.

Beautiful3 · 27/10/2019 19:57

I was told this, and I had a girl. Apparently they show 3 big lines on the scan.

TurquoiseDress · 27/10/2019 19:58

I don't think the technician gave anything away- I'm sure girly bits are fairly prominent at this stage in utero

It could still definitely be either!

Did the scan go ok otherwise? Any abnormalities picked up?

Personally I'd focus on that part, as that is what this 20 week scan is all about

OhLookHeKickedTheBall · 27/10/2019 19:59

We wanted to know with our DC. During DC2s scan they asked and we said yes. The sonographer said she was sure DC2 was a girl as she'd caught a few looks, but said she'd do a proper check and then said 'oh no, a boy'. They don't always get it right without properly looking both sonographers told me, so you don't know for definite. And like pps have said 'it' may equally apply to both female and male parts at that stage.

Nofunkingworriesmate · 27/10/2019 20:00

I went for an ANOMALY scan and witnessed a woman come out sobbing her heart out she was escorted into a side room until a counsellor and family members came to collect her, maybe her sonographer spoiled her surprise too ?

SauvignonBlanche · 27/10/2019 20:01

the op never said the scan was a gender scan!!

The thread title? Hmm

DorisTheFlorist · 27/10/2019 20:01

Blimey. If your baby is born fit and healthy you have won life's lottery. So what if you do or don't know the gender before birth. Does it really matter. Will you love your child less if it is the 'wrong' gender?

Pinkblueberry · 27/10/2019 20:02

I’m think ‘it’ getting in the way could still refer to either couldn’t it? I wouldn’t presume she meant it was a boy because of that. Did you not ask at the time if you were unsure?

annabelsmama · 27/10/2019 20:03

christ, some of yous are horrible. people are allowed to be disappointed. sorry it didn’t go as planned op x

Abouttimemum · 27/10/2019 20:05

I was obsessed with the fact mine was a girl because I thought I couldn’t see any willy on the scan but he came out a boy.
That said I had a billion scans and spent weeks in hospital and I think one doctor even called him ‘he’ which he quickly said was habit - that he calls all babies he - and I still thought it was a girl all because I Thought I couldn’t see a willy. He definitely has one.
Forget about it and enjoy your pregnancy. Healthy baby is all that matters.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 27/10/2019 20:07

Yeah such horrible bitches for pointing out that an ANOMALY scan which ends with a healthy baby and an ongoing pregnancy is something to be immensely grateful for
Fuck sake
Soz your insta moment was spoilt op
Hugz hun

Pinkblueberry · 27/10/2019 20:07

Also, I think you are getting a hard time here OP - I’m sure your baby’s health is more important to you than anything else. Wanting to find out the gender or not is a valid wish, many people like that added surprise at birth - that doesn’t mean the parents have forgotten about the baby’s heath Confused

Abouttimemum · 27/10/2019 20:08

And I am that person who was shuffled into a side room absolutely heartbroken after a devastating scan as well so please just focus on healthy babba. Nothing has been given away.

MaybeitsMaybelline · 27/10/2019 20:08

Sex sex sex! Not gender. Gender denotes an identity and is not biological.

Your scan is health related and absolutely was not completed to determine how your child will identify in later life.

Jinxed2 · 27/10/2019 20:09

Private gender scans are available from 14 weeks....surely it may be possible to see at a 12 week scan? When I went for my 12 week scan I was 13+....

Pukkatea · 27/10/2019 20:09

Even if you're right it's still not ruined anything- you always had a roughly 50/50 odds of either, surely neither would be a huge 'surprise'?

Jinxed2 · 27/10/2019 20:09

And I’ve put “gender scan” as that’s what the companies call them

Jellybeansincognito · 27/10/2019 20:10

I get it op, they didn’t respect your choice.
However, the wording is insensitive considering how many couples go to their 20 week scan to discover something heartbreaking, that really would ruin it wouldn’t it.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 27/10/2019 20:11

The NHS does not perform gender scans
All scans are purely done for health monitoring

ThatMuppetShow · 27/10/2019 20:11

Your scan is health related and absolutely was not completed to determine how your child will identify in later life.

you can identify as a lamppost or a Bengal Tiger if you want, you are still what you were born as Grin

GleamInYourEyes · 27/10/2019 20:11

@WorraLiberty - it's an anomaly scan so they check spine, organs, limbs etc are all normal. I think the sonographer would have meant that they weren't looking for the genitals but due to the angle of the baby they were in view while measuring the kidneys or spine or whatever.

OP, afraid you are being ridiculous and incredibly insensitive. Many women have 'ruined' scan experiences when they discover their baby has serious health issues or has died. The sonographer didn't even tell you what sex the baby is, you are assuming.

elesbells · 27/10/2019 20:13

Where in this has the op stated what gender they would prefer? Some of you are really horrible people, honestly. Poor op I’m sure is glad of a healthy baby...the sex was clearly irrelevant...hence why they wanted it to be a surprise. Ffs some of you are like thrush..

Treaclepie19 · 27/10/2019 20:13

Yeah... some of us are horrible 🙄
Maybe that happens when your baby dies and people post insensitive things.

PurpleDaisies · 27/10/2019 20:14

Private gender scans are available from 14 weeks....surely it may be possible to see at a 12 week scan?

At that very early stage, it’s all about looking at the angle of the nub and making guesses, not spotting a willy waving around.

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