Am I a CF? To think that she wants to say no but doesn't know how?

[nomeansno1]

I’m starting work soon, and asked a mum friend of mine if she could look after DS3, Monday-Thursday 9-1pm, and take him nursery at 1pm just until Christmas. He’s at nursery from 1-4pm.

In return I will pick her kids up from school everyday, and take them to their activities and drop them home. They go to the same school and do the same activities/clubs as my older two children.
I asked her because she has a DD a year younger than my DS, lives opposite me, and she knows the nursery as her DC use to go there. She’s always said if I needed help, I should just ask. I just want her to help me out in the mornings.

I sent her the message yesterday, she has read it but hasn’t replied. Now I’m thinking maybe I’m coming off as a CF, and she wants to say no, but doesn’t know how. I’d rather her just say no, then completely blank me. It’s awkward, don’t know what to do now

So, how were you planning on paying for childcare in February, if you were using the money you'd saved during November/December, to pay for January?

Did you see her this morning?

I’m embarrassed for you that you actually asked her! But well done for taking it back, I hope she’ll still be friendly with you

Well done OP coming back and taking this on board.

It was a terrible idea to send by text without seriously talking through with your neighbour and seeing what they actually NEEDED in return and if you could do reciprocal child care they might need. She might not need any.

Will you still be able to take the work?

OP : I don't get it: how can you do pick up and run to activities if you don't drive?

I'm cringing for you.
dreadful.

Honestly, I wouldn't fret at all. You've realised it's too much and you've given an out. All should be resolved hopefully.

For what it's worth, I actually would have helped a good friend out in this way it I could and was only until xmas.

I like picking my DC up from school and spending the afternoon with them. It is why I have not gone back to work yet. She is unlikely to want you to do that if she is at home to look after her children. It would be different if she worked afternoons and you worked mornings so you were actually helping her out. In your suggestion she would be giving you a lot and you would be giving her something she probably doesn't want.

I might be the voice of dissension here!

Not driving makes picking up from school and getting to clubs (assuming they're not at school), then waiting around and walking the DC back, can be a right pain in the arse. Especially with a toddler as well, plus it's getting cold now. Putting on scarves and gloves and hats etc

If someone offered to do this for me, I would happily swap for a morning of looking after a toddler, and only one trip to nursery at lunchtime.

It's only until Christmas. It will fly by. I think I'd do it.

(Disclaimer, my DC are older now so I might be looking back on toddler years with rose tinted glasses Still, I had all mine very close together and found it easier as they could throw Lego at each other then cry play together.

Not driving makes picking up from school and getting to clubs (assuming they're not at school), then waiting around and walking the DC back, can be a right pain in the arse. Especially with a toddler as well, plus it's getting cold now.

I have a car (more than one even!) my kids still walk to and from school and clubs.

And anyway, a fair exchange would be drop off vs pick up, or drop off and pick up vs 1 or 2 hours a WEEK max.

The OP has been graceful, don't start again!

Yeah, actually I might be talking shit now I've thought about it a bit more, as I now remember I went back to work very quickly indeed as babies were too much hassle

So feel free to ignore me OP