AIBU to get my friend to buy me a horse?

[horsesarebest]

I've NC as it's a very outing problem.

I love horses and want a horse, but can't afford it because I'm a SAHM. My friend, who currently has lots of disposable income, can afford to buy it for me because she's just sold her house. AIBU to ask her to loan me the money so that I can get a horse? It's not an insignificant amount (4 figures), but buying a horse is an opportunity that may not come along for me again because I'll be able to keep it in a field that is close to my home that I can rent really cheaply.

I have no idea when I'd be able to pay my friend back, but I would be able to afford to look after the horse providing that I didn't get any unexpected expenses and the feed costs weren't too high.

I never had a horse before and don't ride very well, but instead of having lessons, it would mean that I can put my money in to a) having a horse and b) I can learn on the horse and have more "horsey time" and so learn quicker.

DH is against the idea, because we're going in to winter and he thinks that I spend too much of his money having riding lessons as it is. He has told me to get a job and use the money from that, because he's not funding it. To be fair to DH, I'm a SAHM and he already gives me a reasonable allowance of £200/month, but it won't cover the costs of buying and keeping the horse.

Me getting a job is not reasonable because DH is a workaholic who regularly works 60+ hours a week and I have to pick up the slack at home with child care and school runs. I have no idea how much he actually earns, but it is enough to pay for and keep a horse without asking my friend for a loan. DH just won't entertain it.

Friend can afford to lend me the money because like I said, she's just sold her house.

• [Note from MNHQ: Before commenting on this thread, please note that the OP discloses 6 posts down the line that this thread is a REVERSE...]

Well this is a relation. I’ve given up my loan horse so I can save to buy my own, but I’ve got a friend who’s just sold her house so she’ll have a bit of money knocking around. I shall ask her to buy me one! Plus I was planning on keeping it on livery, but there are loads of fields near where I live. I’m sure no one will notice one little horse if I just sneak him in...

Tell your friend to get a dog or cat

The new MN bat

Can you tell us the texts?

Pretty please?

Lord don't even suggest that @Nuttyfellalovesnutella 😂

My parents found out last week that their dog needs a series of operations to implant metal into her front legs (think Noel Fitzpatrick style) that insurance have decided not to cover... It's going to cost them over £7k. Our dog hasn't cost us quite as much but they are also deceptively expensive. Plus OP's friend wouldn't be able to ride it 😉🤦🏻‍♀️

I said "no" to the friend yesterday evening over WhatsApp. I was polite, but basically said that the answer was no fucking way, and quite apart from the finance aspect, friend didn't have enough experience to have her own horse. Cue a flurry of texts from CF trying to justify why I should buy her a horse and how I could help look after it, seeing as I already have my own and know what I'm doing. NO to that too

Ooh I have a plan. “Sell” her one of your horses. It stays on your yard so you can help look after it. She comes every day to groom, muck out and exercise under yours/your grooms supervision.

She can pay for all it’s stabling, feed, shoes, vets etc as well.

Probably better to loan it rather than sell though. You’ll still get the horses day to day care paid for though- have you got a retiree somewhere that a novice can pootle about on?

Bet she lasts 3 weeks. Especially as it’s winter.

No, the worst thing about this is that you think you can learn on the horse unless you are going to buy a very old plod that's on its last legs this will be trouble they are very unpredictable

I'm a bit speechless at the sheer CF, followed by the complete ignorance of horse ownership.

OP couldnt you have just told her and put the facts in front of her rather than putting this on MN?

I sort of see her point that her husband spends many thousands on his golf, but clearly that's something he can bow out of if the weather is bad where no one with animals can ever bow out.

while saying she's a CF have you actually spoken to her about what her financial situation is? She is a SAHM on £200pcm? is that pin money? is she covered for house/pension/married? how does she spend her time? does she have a car of her own?

While firmly putting her in her place ref your money and her dreams, you might if she's a friend investigate more.

You'll never pay her back. Depending on location horses cost a min of 300-400 per month...I live in reading so cost is 600-700pm

This thread sounds like the plot of a really, really terrible comedy film.

OP, YAVVU.

A load Of Pony and Trap : a @horsesarebest production. Coming soon to a cinema near you 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I'm a Sahm and love horses. But absolutely not. This is a ridiculous idea!

I have some spare cash, would your friend like that too?