AIBU to get my friend to buy me a horse?

[horsesarebest]

I've NC as it's a very outing problem.

I love horses and want a horse, but can't afford it because I'm a SAHM. My friend, who currently has lots of disposable income, can afford to buy it for me because she's just sold her house. AIBU to ask her to loan me the money so that I can get a horse? It's not an insignificant amount (4 figures), but buying a horse is an opportunity that may not come along for me again because I'll be able to keep it in a field that is close to my home that I can rent really cheaply.

I have no idea when I'd be able to pay my friend back, but I would be able to afford to look after the horse providing that I didn't get any unexpected expenses and the feed costs weren't too high.

I never had a horse before and don't ride very well, but instead of having lessons, it would mean that I can put my money in to a) having a horse and b) I can learn on the horse and have more "horsey time" and so learn quicker.

DH is against the idea, because we're going in to winter and he thinks that I spend too much of his money having riding lessons as it is. He has told me to get a job and use the money from that, because he's not funding it. To be fair to DH, I'm a SAHM and he already gives me a reasonable allowance of £200/month, but it won't cover the costs of buying and keeping the horse.

Me getting a job is not reasonable because DH is a workaholic who regularly works 60+ hours a week and I have to pick up the slack at home with child care and school runs. I have no idea how much he actually earns, but it is enough to pay for and keep a horse without asking my friend for a loan. DH just won't entertain it.

Friend can afford to lend me the money because like I said, she's just sold her house.

• [Note from MNHQ: Before commenting on this thread, please note that the OP discloses 6 posts down the line that this thread is a REVERSE...]

I loathe reverses but they do show up those who don't RTFT and carry on commenting pages after the OP has admitted to it being a reverse. It makes them look so stupid - a bit like your friend, OP.

The DH is a horrible man. OP's friend should get a job, a cleaner, a shopper, a cook and a nanny. Obviously the DH should pay for half of the cleaner, shopper, cook, and nanny. What a massive prick he is.

How is he horrible? You know less than nothing about him.

First of all, nobody owes you anything and that includes a horse! So YABVU.

'I can afford the basic expenses like shoes and things, plus vet insurance, just not the actual horse.'

I do not keep horses so I imagine I will miss out on a long list of things, but 'basic' expenses will be an appropriate shelter and large field with secure fencing all the way around. Good quality food and nutrition, livery, hay, vaccinations, pet insurance and plenty of disposable cash for the unforeseen expenses that regularly come up with keeping a horse, plus dentistry and farrier. Based on what you have said, you are just about breaking even each month and would be better off sticking your £200 in a savings account. You in no way shape or form can afford a horse. Perhaps if you had about £10K cash available per year rather than £2,400, you might be taken more seriously.

You also lack the time, knowledge and proper experience to look after a horse.

I wish MNHQ would just remove those. It was goady and misleading right from the start and still we have posters responding to the OP but missing the part about it being a reverse.

What a massive waste of people's time.

Go for it, then we can all read the next MN thread about CF friend wanting me to buy her a horse

*remove THIS

Sorry just read the full thread and saw it was a reverse. Ignore my earlier comments.

People aren't even reading the whole first post, let alone the full thread.

I am only on page four of this thread and it has been very entertaining so far .
OP , I worked at a good reputable stables 20 years ago and even then if you had offered £200 a month you would of only got the basic package;
Feed chucked over the door x2 per day ( bog standard hard feed and 3/4 cakes of hay )
Water buckets checked , refilled ( the more expensive packages had automatic water drinkers )
In winter , rugs off / on
Vets called in emergency.
Your horse would not get ;
Groomed,
Mucked out
Turned out / brought in,
Held for vets / farrier
Exercised
Any additional feed supplements / specialised / non heating feed
Use of the indoor school
Tack cleaned
Rugs washed
You also could not share any equipment so you would have to buy all your own grooming kit , pitch forks , wheel barrows, yard brushes , etc.
Still recon £200 is enough ?

goes back to laugh at read the other 5 or 6 pages

When I saw the comment by MN that it was a reverse, I was secretly hoping the real OP was the horse!

Your friend is a cheeky fucker, I bet if you gave her the money you wouldn't see a penny of it back.
Does her husband really give her a allowance?! He sounds like a bit of a dick tbh.

If you can't afford to buy a horse you can't afford to keep one! Plus your a cheeky fucker asking your friend for money that you don't even know when you can pay back

Just thought I’d post a pic of our field after this month’s rain! Fortunately we have stables and alternative grazing! Good luck OP!

Wow I cannot believe she had the nerve to ask! I don't think she's a good friend, she shouldn't be thinking about what she can spend your money on.
I'm sorry you had to find out your friend was like this. X

Saying “Horsey” every time you pass one in a field isn’t a hobby

Pmsl! 😂

@MilkLady02 I thank god daily that we’re on a hill!

Tell your ridiculous friend to:

Get riding lessons until she can walk/trot/canter, and hack safely.
Do a BHS Stable Management course.
Cost up livery yards, insurance (for horse and rider) farrier costs, vet call out fees (insurance pays you back later so you need those up front), vaccination fees, saddle fitter fees, chiropracter fees, riding instructor for private lesson fees...

Then friend can look for a horse to SHARE or loan, which removes the up front purchase costs of horse.

OK, now you HAVE to come back and tell us Mrs Bojack's reaction after you show her the thread.

Your 'friend' is insane. Utterly insane.

At two hundred quid a month for pissing away (which is what an 'allowance' means in this case, I think), she'd just about manage to keep a dog, assuming she had a Free To Good Home mutt and didn't want something pedigree/off a BYB because the two names sound funny mashed up together. It might make her look 'horsey' enough if she's already got the clothing and 4x4 to match.

I do know how to look after animals, OP. And I earn my own money, which combined with DP's, mean we can easily cover all our bills. Could you buy me a Beagle puppy, please?

Not even the thread, just the whole OP

I hate reverses. Clearly your friend is totally unreasonable, but so are you for posting a reverse

Hey OP, I have horses! Well, three ponies and a miniature horse. Only this morning I was staring at the poo mixed in with mud as I cleaned their paddock and wondered why they do this. How about you give me the money instead and your friend can come visit mine? They love anyone with polos.

Though one also has a broken bone in his hock which has cost over 3000 pounds already. Oh, and one is on permanent medication after suffering laminitis. You could fund those too, right?!

Oh, and that electric fencing you can see? Also cost hundreds, needs the battery changing and occasionally my big, fat ginger cob there will go straight through it whilst in the mood.

Yes totally BU for posting a reverse!

Why do you not know how much your husband earns, you should both have joint access to money.
*
You need to get rid of your husband more than you will ever need a horse

Op, it's possible that you're being financially abused by your dh.

A horse is not a replacement for a crap husband.*

^^just a few of the fucking stupid posts on here

If I was her husband I'd be leaving HER

Are you aware that they costs hundreds a month to stable and feed oh and your a cheeky fucker