AIBU to get my friend to buy me a horse?

[horsesarebest]

I've NC as it's a very outing problem.

I love horses and want a horse, but can't afford it because I'm a SAHM. My friend, who currently has lots of disposable income, can afford to buy it for me because she's just sold her house. AIBU to ask her to loan me the money so that I can get a horse? It's not an insignificant amount (4 figures), but buying a horse is an opportunity that may not come along for me again because I'll be able to keep it in a field that is close to my home that I can rent really cheaply.

I have no idea when I'd be able to pay my friend back, but I would be able to afford to look after the horse providing that I didn't get any unexpected expenses and the feed costs weren't too high.

I never had a horse before and don't ride very well, but instead of having lessons, it would mean that I can put my money in to a) having a horse and b) I can learn on the horse and have more "horsey time" and so learn quicker.

DH is against the idea, because we're going in to winter and he thinks that I spend too much of his money having riding lessons as it is. He has told me to get a job and use the money from that, because he's not funding it. To be fair to DH, I'm a SAHM and he already gives me a reasonable allowance of £200/month, but it won't cover the costs of buying and keeping the horse.

Me getting a job is not reasonable because DH is a workaholic who regularly works 60+ hours a week and I have to pick up the slack at home with child care and school runs. I have no idea how much he actually earns, but it is enough to pay for and keep a horse without asking my friend for a loan. DH just won't entertain it.

Friend can afford to lend me the money because like I said, she's just sold her house.

• [Note from MNHQ: Before commenting on this thread, please note that the OP discloses 6 posts down the line that this thread is a REVERSE...]

Why the hell would you be friends with such a dipshit?

If you can't afford to buy the horse then you can't afford to keep the horse op. They are expensive!

Tell her to stop horsing around op

Yes your delusional. Have you ever had a Horse? There's ALWAYS An unexpected cost!
If you can afford to keep one. Save that money for the appropriate length of time to buy one.
Admittedly I switched off and didn't read much past the first part of your message as it's ludicrous

This must be a troll post, surely.
If not, well, you are totally inexperienced to own a horse....
You can't even ride properly! This in itself will end in damaging the animal.
Then there are the Bill's linked to ownership, shoes, vets (astronomical), feed, stabling.
You won't recognise lameness, ailments etc....
I really hoping this is a fake post!

I can't believe mnhq are letting this stand. I'm annoyed you think it's okay to waste people's time and blood pressure om something that you know is totally unreasonable.

Dear friend- you love, need to go for a welt riding lesson at a riding school for your horsey fix, and it if what your 'mate' says is true about your financial situation then save up, get your own source of wealth and get out of the financially abusive relationship. - from a qualified instructor

Weekly not welt!

OP what have you told your CF friend. I can’t get over the cheek of asking!

AHA HAHAHAHA!!! Literally crying with laughter .... Thanks Op. Not laughed like this in ages 😂😂🤣

This is not your friend's only opportunity to get a horse. She hasn't come into any money, so she doesn't have an opportunity. Just say no.

It really is quite amazing how many people don't even both to read to the end of the OP.

Sorry but I had to lol at the 'unexpected expenses' part. Having had horses for over 35 years, one thing is absolutely guaranteed is the unexpected costs I'm afraid.

No way would I lend money for a horse even if your friend could afford it. It’s not something necessary, you don’t know if or when you’ll get the money back and in all honesty she’s likely to be coming to you asking for more because £200 doesn’t cover the cost of a horse!!!!

My mum told me when I was 10 and desperately wanted one that buying them was the cheap part.

Sorry for being totally thick, but what is a reverse?

@rubyupbeat a reverse is when someone pretends to be the other person in a scenario to see what people say. So in this example, the OP is actually the friend who has just sold her horse and has been asked to lend the money to the CF with the arse if a husband

Ah...see what reverse post now

@IDontDrinkTea
Thank you

There is actually an update to this. For those of you who think it's a spoof, believe me, it's not.

I said "no" to the friend yesterday evening over WhatsApp. I was polite, but basically said that the answer was no fucking way, and quite apart from the finance aspect, friend didn't have enough experience to have her own horse. Cue a flurry of texts from CF trying to justify why I should buy her a horse and how I could help look after it, seeing as I already have my own and know what I'm doing. NO to that too

DH is understandably not impressed at the request and has been less "polite" about it.

According to CF I am apparently very unreasonable because horses are good for people and it would help her. I told her to get a job and pay for it herself and she's not replied.

Obviously she's a user. I'd suggest blocking and ending the friendship.

I told her to get a job and pay for it herself and she's not replied.

One less Christmas card to write!

She has no chuffing clue does she? You just know you'd get lumbered with it sooner or later, probably as a 3 legged walking vets bill from her ignorance. She needs to go to a riding school. Do the horse owners certificate. Muck out their horses in return for rides like the teenagers do (and don't get yourself lumbered with that, either!).

If you could be bothered (I wouldn't!) you could play along and arrange a meeting with her and her husband. Help her to add how how much it's going to cost to keep a horse, right down to field maintenance, lessons (non negotiable because obviously she WILL need an instructor around), keeping a companion and livery for when the field becomes a mudbath and the horse has mud fever, or needs to be kept off it for a few weeks while it's sprayed. Get her husband to say if he agrees to those costs weekly/ monthly/annually. I mean he won't, but if he does, point out that a few £k one off cost is nothing in the grand scheme of things and that he can pay for the damn horse.

Cue a flurry of texts from CF trying to justify why I should buy her a horse and how I could help look after it, seeing as I already have my own and know what I'm doing.

I think you should buy her a brass necklace for Christmas.

Has she even attempted to explain why you should buy her a horse? I mean I know that she has given her reasons why having a horse is good for her but why should you loan her the money? Am totally intrigued about what's going on in her head. Is it simply because you currently have it? Is she saying you should get a second horse and she'd loan it from you?