To be ungrateful to receive a gift that's going to cost me money?

[wintertime6]

I just don't understand why people think it's a nice thing to do? Me and DH were given a £30 voucher for a really fancy restaurant as a gift. Yes, I know that it would be lovely to go out for a nice meal, but it's a set menu in the evenings at £70 each, not including drinks. So in reality it's going to cost us well over £100 and we're just going to end up going for the sake of using the voucher, and will have to organise and pay for a babysitter on top!

I know I'm not going to enjoy it that much, knowing how much it's costing us, but I'd feel bad letting it go to waste and the person who bought us the voucher is definitely going to ask how we enjoyed the meal and I just can't lie!

I'd much rather have received a £30 voucher for a local pizza restaurant and we could have gone out some night as a family for a chilled out meal, I wouldn't have had to think about what to cook for anyone that night, and it would have been pretty much free!

I hate being ungrateful for gifts, but I just can't bring myself to feel grateful in anyway for receiving such an annoying present!!

You do seem ungrateful. Your complaints about an evening meal were valid but your complaints about lunch seem churlish. You have family that can watch the DCs. You can have a nice lunch. It's not the gift-giver's fault that you think you'll spend the time stressing about your DCs for the short time it takes to eat lunch.

Go for lunch if possible.

@KatyCarrCan but even lunch will no doubt cost them a fair bit of money if the evening set menu is £70. The voucher is for £30, so even if the lunch menu is half the cost of the evening one, it will still cost them money, which they may not be able to afford. I think a gift should be a thoughtful one.

Does £30 cover anything that 2 people could go and enjoy? Set lunch or 1 course each plus water to drink.
I'd take a friend who was fine to eat just whatever was covered by the voucher. But it's a stingy gift if it doesn't actually cover the cost of the cheapest 2 meals on a menu.£30 for pizza express or cinema would be far bette me in terms of actually covering an entire trip out.

Sell it on ebay.

I hate these types of gifts. We've been gifted similar before (experience days) where it's cost us in travel, food, extras and annual leave. I'd rather not go. I do buy restaurant vouchers for my dad and SM and DM and SF but to their favourite restaurants that they regularly go to and do enjoy the discount.

OP, just don't go and tell the gift giver you haven't been. The more I think about it the more of a rubbish gift it seems. If you wouldn't otherwise go to that restaurant, it's like being given a £30 Dyson voucher when you don't want to spend the other £100+ to buy a Dyson. Such a selfish, thoughtless gift.

Is the set menu all there is on the evening? If that’s a five course extravaganza then maybe a main course each is much, much less.

'I’d go with a friend for lunch then DH can have the kids.'

So would I

Who was gift for. If for you then why cant you go with a friend for lunch?

Very thoughtless gift. I wouldn't go and I wouldn't give it another thought.

If they ask if you went I'd just be honest 'I'm
afraid we didn't go as after looking at the menu we realised how much a meal would cost us, on top of babysitting costs we just couldn't afford it'

This is an example of people giving gifts that they want....and not thinking if the recipient at all.

Ask the giver to babysit for you?

Can't you just go and have drinks and a starter each or drinks and desert...you don't HAVE to spend £100...just spend the £30 on the cheapest desert/starter and a drink each,

Can't you just go and have drinks and a starter each or drinks and desert

OP said its a £70 per person set menu.

Ask whoever gave you the voucher to have the kids so you can go and use their present?

The gift is just so pointless, and probably has close to zero value, someone would only buy it if they wanted to go to this restaurant anyway, and wouldn't pay anywhere near the face value, as otherwise they might as well just pay at the restaurant without fiddling around with vouchers.

As for those suggesting Pizza Express, it's quite likely a main and a drink for two would cost over £30 there anyway.

Of course don't go. Give the voucher to a friend and learn to lie. A little white lie never hurt anyone.

I wouldn't go. Donate the voucher to a raffle or similar. Loads of xmas fairs etc coming up.

I’d take the voucher to the restaurant and ask them nicely if you can exchange it for something like takeaway dessert. If you explain it’s cos you’ve got small children they might be helpful

Ask on Facebook locally if anyone has a voucher for equivalent value to your favourite family pizza restaurant they'd like to swap?

This is a toughie. If you fib and say you went, you'll get them again and again (okay, if you can accumulate them and end up paying for the whole shebang with vouchers, not so great if they're time-limited). If they are time-limited, that might be a help - when they ask if you've used them, you can say that you couldn't find a good date - if you had the extra money you'd need, you couldn't park the kids. If you managed to get a sitter sorted, an unexpected bill came in and you couldn't afford it.... and repeat till they expire.

Sorry to derail slightly, but I've been on the other end. I once made some foot bath salts for my BFF's DM, she's a lovely woman, but impossible to buy for, and her job involves being on her feet of hours at a stretch, so it seemed a good idea. I asked him whether she liked them and he said she did, they smelled gorjuss and moisturised her tired feet beautifully. So that's that, her pressies sorted out for the foreseeable. Then I stayed at their house and found the unused jar in the bathroom. I told him he was a pilchard because she would have been getting them for birthday and Christmas from here to kingdom come.

I always study the menu before giving a gift voucher and check the amount would cover main, desert and a bottle of wine. Sure people can pay a little extra for coffees or starters, but I think this is the minimum you should give of your re treating people to a meal out.

It’s an Expensive gift so I really only do it for my parents or sister.

I would take a friend for lunch or maybe dh could take someone.

My dh got a restaurant voucher from his parents £100, brilliant except the restaurant is 100 miles away!

We would need to book a hostel plus the area has far nicer restaurants. Our weekends are crazy busy so it’s not easy to get away.

I’m staying out of it because the gift wasn’t given to me. I really dislike gifts like this.
It’s going to cause trouble when we don’t go but for us it’s nit a treat it’s a chore to use it.

I would take a friend for lunch or maybe dh could take someone.

That’s an idea! Invite the one who gifted the voucher to come with you as Hubble cannot make it!

t's a rubbish present. I would do as others suggest: have drinks with it, or lunch, or sell it and spend the money elsewhere.