To think private school has denied this kid a right of passage

[everythingnotsavedwillbelost]

There was one kid in my DD’s primary that went to private school. Gets driven there every day. All the other 89 kids in the year went to the local comp, walk together in groups & have carried on the friendships from primary.
I know it’s the parents choice but it honestly reminds me of billionaire boy! This poor kid still lives in the area & has to watch all his friends walking together etc. Hasn’t settled well in new school & wants to hang out with old mates most of the time.
I get why the parents have done it- smaller classes etc but it seems like such a coddled existence. Secondary is a bit of a right of passage in some ways- they have to make their own way to school & grow up a bit. This kid won’t have that experience as the school is out of town & will always need to be driven. It sets him apart from his mates (which I guess is the nature of private education)
Aibu - I feel a bit sorry for the kid!

You feel sorry for a kid whose parents have money to send him to private school? Save your sympathy for kids who are cold and hungry, whose parents visit the food bank

. Are you insinuating that children either go to private school or live a life of poverty?

No she means there are kids you really could feel sorry for, and a kid being denied the chance to walk to school in the rain isnt one of them

See that is why I am glad I moved away from my small town, they breed people with small cliquey judgemental minds.

I wholeheartedly agree with this statement;
However as the only child of a prematurely widowed mother I just didn't have the heart to leave her and take her grandchildren with me.
So I'll remain stuck on the periphery of my town's social circle with my comparatively posh accent and tendency to comparatively verbose vernacular, thanks to my private education and rotten luck.

Is 'rite of passage' the primary school equivalent of 'precious moments' for babies and pre-schoolers?

It only makes sense to me if the OP is looking at things from her own parochial and provincial perspective.

Not everyone ;iives so close to their primary school as to be able to walk to primary school. Nor is there such a lack of choice of school that everyone goes to the same primary school as their neighbourhood friends.

What tiny village is this? I would have thought this lifestyle is the exception rather than the rule. It seems nice on paper but sounds rather small town and stifling.

Then the OP goes tut tut that this boy cannot experience the full unicorn idyll at primary because he is getting driven to his private school. What if poor little rich boy took the school bus (with other children) or even the public bus, if there is one available in this village.

God forbid this boy actually makes friends after an adjustment period.

I don't see the need to bash other parents for their decisions in choosing a school.

Look at plenty, find the one most suitable for your child.
If it's state, fine. If it's private and you can afford it, well that's fine too. Sometimes the child chooses and you just have to go with it for their benefit, irrespective of what you think about the sector.

Really OP, unless this is your child, what possible business can it be of yours?

Quite!

I don't see the need to bash other parents for their decisions in choosing a school.

insecurity and the need to make themselves feel better.

ThatMuppetShow

Agree completely.

I sent my child to a very good primary school which was deemed posh by my friends who loudly criticised my choice. It is actually only 5 minutes further walking distance from the local, larger school (that has since improved since I made my primary school application).

I couldn't understand why they'd prefer the local school at the time if they didn't have siblings already there but I didn't openly mock their choice or even mention the crap Ofstead report they'd had.

I can only think it's laziness in not wanting to walk 5 extra minutes!

Thinking about this more, I’d probably also choose the private school as a means of getting my child away from the tribal mentality of the village.

OP is speaking from her own experience which is a Welsh town with one state school. As PPs say, it's more the choice and distance travelled than the fact he's travelling to private school. In larger towns you might have more choice (Guildford in surrey has 5 state and a plethora of private, equally there are rural villages with four or more primary which means the one school takes in several friendship groups who may then separate for sixth form ).

And may be the parents of the child mentioned work unsocial or unpredictable hours and need the security of knowing the child can be dropped early/picked up late/be fed/do prep.

@milliefiori out of interest why haven't you moved closer to your children's school?

It’s not always that simple to move closer to the child’s school. So for example our situation is that we only bought three years ago and thanks to Brexit and the impact on the property market we have made no profit on our house in that time, and may even have to sell at a loss, so it would be madness to move. We have considered renting our house out and renting nearer to the school he will attend but we have a dog and very few rentals are dog friendly.

So a long journey it will be.

Snoopdogsbitch
Don't be so simplistic- there will be many, many factors influencing that statistic (Glasgow) not least the SIMD being very high in many areas...
You idiot.*

Charming. I didn't know you lived in Glasgow when I posted.

"In Scotland we have no grammar system so I and my 2 Eldest DC attended/attend the comprehensive school 5 minutes away: I got a 1st class degree from an excellent university and the DC are excelling"

• which is all very well if you have access to the better schools (my point).

Jordanhill school tops the polls in the entire city including private

Yes, I see - Jordanhill School might as well be a grammar school/private school;

Top Ten Glasgow Schools (percentage of pupils gaining five or more awards at SCQF level six):

1 Jordanhill School (83)
2 Glasgow Gaelic School (68)
3 Hyndland Secondary School (53)
4 Notre Dame High School (51)
5 Holyrood Secondary School (43)
6 St Thomas Aquinas Secondary School (40)
7 St Andrew’s Secondary School (36)
8 King’s Park Secondary School (34)
9 Shawlands Academy (34)
10 Bannerman High School (33)

www.glasgowist.com/scottish-school-league-tables-2019-glasgow-exam-performance-revealed/

It's amazing what an "idiot" can find out (I only have a 2.1 degree, not a 1st like yourself);

"Jordanhill School accused of "selecting" pupils."

www.heraldscotland.com/news/13413880.jordanhill-school-accused-of-selecting-pupils/

JORDANHILL JNR GIRLS BLAZER Size(s) 24,26,28,30 £95.00
JORDANHILL SNR BOYS BLAZER Size(s) 38,40,42,44 £120

More expensive than the blazers at dcs' private school in England!
www.jordanhill.glasgow.sch.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/Stevensons-Prices-Oct-2018.pdf

When I left primary school, my parents sent me to a different school to everyone else in year 6 - it wasn’t a private or Grammar school, just a different comprehensive. I rode the bus to school and made new friends. It was a bit of a relief to get away from the old group if I’m honest.

I suppose I also didn’t get the rite of passage of walking to senior school because all the senior schools were too far (except for one private school and one Catholic school - we weren’t Catholic). This is true of quite a lot of children who grow up in a city - a large school will have people coming from all over. Only those who live close will walk.

Someone upthread said something like private school parents are trying to escape the riff raff (sorry I cant remember the exact wording). I don’t know anyone who thinks like this. However choosing a different school (state or private) from most other people nearby shakes up the friendship group a bit. Good friends will still see each other and people who’ve outgrown each other can let things slide. That’s fairly healthy.

I always thought being able to walk to school and walk to all your friends houses at the weekend was a major plus point for going to the local school. My friend with kids at private school was always driving them everywhere at the weekends and after school.

Clavinova I , or my DC, didn't/ don't go to Jordanhill School - it was an example of a state school which is high performing ( see also St Ninian's/ Mearns Castle/ Bearsden Academy/ Williamwood/ Notredame etc..etc..). I didn't go to school in Glasgow but it was the high school everyone went to - not high performing in any way. My DC go to a school nowhere near the top 10 in the city- so they don't have access to the best schools, it's a true comprehensive ( kids with straight As who go to Oxbridge and kids who leave with very little).

Wafting around a comment about the entire city being lesser due to having no grammar system is, indeed, idiotic, and I am done with the prevailing England- centric, narrow- minded, middle class views on MN. This has now turned into a state school bashing thread. FFS.

Do what you like, what suits your kids, but curlt the superiority, it's never a good look.

I wonder who will be jealous when he’s the only kid in your area that goes to Oxbridge / earns six figures.

I walked to school every day with my friends and gained nothing from it even tho I loved my friends! I saw them at school anyway. And outside of school. The journey wasn’t particularly special. I would sacrifice those walks for private school education any day!

Not really any of your business! I went to a private school (only one in my year group who did), had the best time ever there!

Oh OP, this is the best example of schadenfreude I have ever seen.

Possibly overly invested? We live in London, and kids disperse to lots of different secondaries from their primary school. It does change friendships... but they do make new friends. It’s the ebb and flow of life.

See what I mean, yet another baseless, illinformed, inflammatory opinion from Grumpyhoonmain. I know many, many people who have attended Oxbridge/ have a 6 figure salary who attended state school. What is it with the snobbery?!

I went to a secondary school in a small Gloucestershire town. I would have given anything, ANYTHING to get out of that small minded town. Due to that I worked SO HARD to go to university - it was the only way out.

When I got to uni, I realised that I was there with people who had gone to a private schools. At that point I started questioning the need for private education.

Ive done a u turn now - seeing the relationships that were built in said private schools and how this translates in work places I absolutely see the worth of private schools.

So good on the boys parents in OPs post

Plenty of reverse snobbery on here. Really, if all state education has got is a walk to school, I can live without it.

Snoopdogsbitch
curlt the superiority, it's never a good look

Ha - it was you who posted;
"I got a 1st class degree from an excellent university and the DC are excelling"

I made a fleeting comment about the educational inequalities in Scotland, specifically Glasgow - without knowing that you lived in Glasgow. I obviously touched a raw nerve.

No wonder Jordanhill School is such a popular state school - it has its own Charitable Trust Fund;
www.jordanhill.glasgow.sch.uk/education-amenities-trust/
www.oscr.org.uk/about-charities/search-the-register/charity-details?number=5743

From 2005 -
"Such is the demand for places at Jordanhill School in Glasgow that the rector frequently receives applications from parents of unborn children.Neither is it unknown for a request to be hand delivered by a proud father on the same day as his new arrival."

Sounds like a quasi-private school to me;
www.theguardian.com/education/2005/sep/11/britainsbestschools.schools5

@somecakefather well they're deffo not going to private school are they 🙄