To think private school has denied this kid a right of passage

[everythingnotsavedwillbelost]

There was one kid in my DD’s primary that went to private school. Gets driven there every day. All the other 89 kids in the year went to the local comp, walk together in groups & have carried on the friendships from primary.
I know it’s the parents choice but it honestly reminds me of billionaire boy! This poor kid still lives in the area & has to watch all his friends walking together etc. Hasn’t settled well in new school & wants to hang out with old mates most of the time.
I get why the parents have done it- smaller classes etc but it seems like such a coddled existence. Secondary is a bit of a right of passage in some ways- they have to make their own way to school & grow up a bit. This kid won’t have that experience as the school is out of town & will always need to be driven. It sets him apart from his mates (which I guess is the nature of private education)
Aibu - I feel a bit sorry for the kid!

To be fair, the school bus is the stuff of nightmares. When I asked my daughter she's just said the school bus is 10 times worse anything else at school and there's lots of horrible things about being a teenager and being at high school. To be going to a quiet, sedate school without the school bus must be absolute bliss!! Esp if he makes some friends.

To be fair, the school bus is the stuff of nightmares.

Depends on the kid I think and whether they have friends on the bus. I was a real shrinking violet but had no issues with the bus.

Surely if people only posted about stuff that was actually 'their business', mumsnet would be a waste land?

Mitzig- so basically you wouldnt/don't let your kids walk to school because of rain and white van men?

I was put in a private school for secondary.

I didn’t want to go. I wanted to go to the secondary modern with my friends.

I stick out like a sore thumb. I didn’t belong there and knew it.

I came out with 1 O level and couldn’t wait to leave. I didn’t make any friends and spent my time on my own.

When choosing a school you have to choose the school that suits your child not something that is shiny and posh and has excellent results

I went to a private school, a boarding school in fact, and I wasn't "coddled" but fair play for coming up with a different way to go after the independent school system 💁🏻‍♀️

I don’t think there is anything wrong with private schools .. for the right child.

Ds went to a primary in special measures which friends were horrified at but Ds loved the school and it was a right fit for him.

Now there is a waiting list to get into the school and it is now rated outstanding.

Dd went to a specialised private school that was the right fit for her.
For Ds he wouldn’t have got anything out of it.

Touch of the green eyed monster from the OP I reckon...

I get it too.
I went to a private school that I lived locally to, so I walked or cycled there every day. Lots of other kids came in by bus together - so they were starting their social life earlier in the day and for longer. It was isolating - there were a few of us who lived locally but if we all travelled in independently from different areas, then we didn't get that "bonding" time the bus kids did.

It does sort itself out though after a while - so while it might be harder for him to settle in, by next year he should have made friends with people at the school, and there's still no reason why he can't hang out with his old friends at the weekend.

clavinova We are not debating Jordanhill school or any other high performing school - I pointed out that it and MANY others are successful state schools. And I said I have a good degree and my DC are excelling to make the point that many, many people excel at state school- not to be snobbish in any way. What IS snobbish is quoting a 3 year old survey about a place you have no comprehension of and concluding that the lower educational achievement is to do with no grammar schools and fewer private schools. Utter rubbish. I have given my thoughts on why, at that point, it might have been, but you've chosen to ignore these.

There is a strong sense of England- centric bias where Scotland/N Ireland/ Wales are back waters where we all struggle. It really pisses me off.

I work in a school where the deprivation and home lives would shock you to the core, yet because of teachers who are committed and an atmosphere of aspiration, our young people succeed in a huge variety of ways and our destination statistics are outstanding. We have kids going to do medicine/ law/ engineering/ the conservatoire ....the list goes on, and kids going to apprenticeships in joinery, childcare and hairdressing and off to jobs in all fields. I will not hear it said that any of these kids have had a lack of opportunity because they live in an estate in Glasgow and didn't attend private school.

DD is the only person in her primary to go to her secondary school, her best friend is the only one from primary to go to her new school.

She still sees her best friend regularly despite not going to the same school. I live in the Netherlands so DD cycles along with the overwhelming majority of school kids.

It’s early days and if this boy wants to maintain his old friendships he can, it will just means he and his friends will have to make more of an effort.

Going to school is a rite of passage, not going to a school that isn’t the same as everyone else isn’t less of a rite of passage.

I don't feel sorry for him at all. His parents have given him a gift by being able to choose the school they feel is best for him- in this case a private one. I expect he will have a good education, small class sizes, and after a while very good friends.
And in my experience as a secondary teacher, new friends are made in year 7- very few stay super attached to primary school friends.
He sounds like a lucky kid.

I went to private school. I always felt that the children who joined later after having attended state school first were more grounded and better socially adjusted because they had local "normal" friends. Private schools can be very insular feeling.

I think this boy’s parents think different things are important to the things you value. As is their right. How about respecting that?

I'm sure his parents will be devastated about doing all they can to give him a good start in life when they realise in a few years that he's really missed out by not walking to the local comprehensive with all the other kids.

missyoumuch that's definitely our experience and what i would recommend to anyone.

A classic case of confirmation bias.