DM upset she won't be a grandma to a girl

[GoWhistle]

NC so this doesn't follow me around - my DM phoned today to tell me DB is expecting his forth healthy boy (scan was done this morning) DB and I don't speak but I wish his family well.

After telling me the news, DM said "I'm just gutted you won't be giving me the opportunity to be a grandmother to a girl" and she started crying. I reminded her that she has three lovely grandsons and another on the way. She replied saying she would have loved a granddaughter and continued crying. I said I had to go and ended the phone call.

She knows DH & I are infertile after years of heartache, AIBU to think she's being somewhat tactless? Or am I only seeing it from my POV?!

Wow.maybe start speaking to your brother and stop speaking to your mother!

YANBU

YANBU she wasn’t crying about your brother giving her a granddaughter, just you. Tactless and thoughtless

She is rude and tactless, what a horrible thing to say to you and also very rude to your brother and his family. It’s a shocking thing to say to anyone, but especially if you have gone through years of hoping for a baby.

Gosh, even without the infertility part I was thinking she was being unreasonable, but the fact you are infertile makes her more than tactless, it makes her unbelievably cruel and self absorbed to think you want to listen to her complaining.

I think you were pretty restrained in your response!

wow how selfish of her, really utterly tactless

Horrible. Truly.

She’s all me, me, me, isn’t she!

Wow incredibly selfish, she should have kept that to herself and had a little cry on her own if she’s that bothered about it - you’re not there to provide her with a girl child, plus she had her opportunity to raise two children so she ought to think herself lucky.

What a horrible thing to say. She has 3 healthy grandsons already and you are going through something so so difficult.

Is she always so selfish?

She needs to get over herself, fast.

I'm sorry, OP, that's a horrible thing for her to have done.

YANBU

She sounds awful and ridiculous. Plenty of people don't have grandchildren at all and she's being incredibly tactless.

Wow. Is that behaviour typical for her? That’s one of the most insensitive things I think a mother could say given the circs.

What the fuck . Who opened the gate to selfish bastard kingdom? They are out in their droves tonight

Oh gosh I was half expecting a flaming, it's really hard to see when I'm being over sensitive when it comes to this, and I feel caught off guard with her phone call.

I don't know why having (soon to be four) Grandsons isn't enough for her - and why not having a granddaughter is somehow my fault. :(

If that’s her usual mothering mode, I’d be going extremely low contact with her.

I would honestly have told her to get a grip of herself.

Wow. What am irritating woman she must be. Unbelievable.

What a vile thing to say!!!!

YANBU. She’s horrible.

So she has children AND grandchildren and she’s having a go at you???

Words fail me. I’m sorry she’s treated you like this OP. You deserve better

Say oh yes DM I forgot this was all about you. Well done for finding the cloud to our silver lining.

It's not very MN understatement I wish I could give you a giant hug. That was news which was potentially tricky for you (doesn't mean you're not pleased of course) but rather that being shared carefully and lovingly, it was a mammothly unhelpful call. I can't imagine. You weren't caught off guard it was your DM to blame, 100%.

Ugh I'm so cross for you. If you drink, have some now!

Words fail me. I’m sorry she’s treated you like this OP. You deserve better

This. Absolutely.

Perhaps she was trying to say she’s upset she won’t get to have that closeness with her daughters child as I know it’s different when you have the MIL role.

Regardless though that’s incredibly tactless to say to you when it’s out of your control.

Oh good lord.. tell her to piss right off