Aibu to want to be a Mrs even though I'm now divorced?

[flirtygirl]

I kept my maiden name and used my married name for the years I was married (13). The married name I've been changing over now but for years I was Miss C Smith or Mrs C Smith Jones (both show on my credit report, passport is in one and driving licence in the other) .

I now want to be Mrs C Smith instead of Miss.

No idea why but it hurts me for people to think I'm a single mum who has never been married, is it my internalised misogyny?

I know it shouldn't matter to be but it does.

I think most people use Ms to show they were once married, but now aren't. Personally I didn't use Mrs after my first divorce as I wasn't a Mrs anymore and if he'd remarried it would be weird to me.

Realistically very few people know whether you are Miss or Mrs. I certainly don't tell anyone on a day to day basis. Call yourself what you like, but do it because it's what you want, not because you don't want people to judge you. Incidentally, lots of married women don't ever use Mrs.

I use Ms or Miss.

I had the title removed from bank accounts, so just use inital and surname.

I am married but have never changed my name. I don’t like the fact that female titles denote their marital status so I randomly switch between them. I have used a bank card saying Miss CBA to pay for a prescription in the name of Mrs CBA.
Call yourself what you feel comfortable with.

So technically, if you take your husband’s name you are a Mrs. Technically if you don’t take his surname you are a Ms. So with a mixture of his name and your surname you could Mrs or Ms. After divorce you don’t have to change your name but if you were going for technically right you would probably be Ms.

However, just use the title you want (assuming you don’t make yourself to be Dr etc). I didn’t change my name and so should technically use Ms but I use Mrs apart from where I can’t be arsed to change it over because I need our marriage certificate for a change of title.

I doubt anyone but you will care. Do what makes you happiest.

I mostly haven't changed my title, I didn't change my name back to my original surname so I am still Mrs. No one has ever said I must change it just because I got divorced. I will probably change is to Ms original name when I need to renew my passport.

Thanks for all your replies, I didn't think about Ms. I'm probably over thinking it all but will go with Ms or Mrs, I think.

It does all hark back to title denoting marital status. We should have a title that doesn't, in this day and age.

I've used Ms while I was married and divorced. I object to the term Mrs.

(and my ex-MIL was Mrs.... not me).

I use MS to me Miss I a for little girls. Men don’t have to declare if they are married or not on anything don’t see why I should.
If we had a Master for all unmarried men that not go down to well but fine for women.

Ms doesn't denote marital staus! I have been Ms since I was 18.

Nobody's business if I'm married, single or divorced.

Ms is not for divorced people It's for people who think it's nobodies business!

I think it’s fine to use whichever title you wish to. I’m married and switch between using Miss and Ms because, like you, I have used both names. For some reason Mrs has always felt rather alien to me.

I think most people use Ms to show they were once married, but now aren't. Ms was introduced by those women who didn't see why it was the business of the world to know whether or not they were married when men aren't expected to give out that information, and this is still the dictionary definition. The idea that it means "used to be married" is something I've seen only on MN.

We should have a title that doesn't, in this day and age.

We do - it's Ms. Used by single, married, separated, divorced and widowed women, if they want to.

I'm divorced but still go by my married name. I rarely use the mrs bit but wanted to keep the same name as dc.

I always thought Ms was for divorced women.

I still use Mrs and I haven't been anyone's wife for 10 years almost. I like it.

Ms is not for divorced women, I have never, ever read such claptrap!

I randomly use Miss, Ms, Dr or Mrs. So many people stating that Ms denotes divorced is exactly why we should drop everything except Mrs for adult women.

So technically, if you take your husband’s name you are a Mrs. Technically if you don’t take his surname you are a Ms. So with a mixture of his name and your surname you could Mrs or Ms. After divorce you don’t have to change your name but if you were going for technically right you would probably be Ms.

In which technical guidance is this laid down?

Hint: it’s not. It’s not ‘technically’ anything. Female titles are entirely about convention rather than there being any actual rules for it. Currently, Miss and Mrs are for people who want others to know their marital status, Ms is for those who don’t.

@flirtygirl It does all hark back to title denoting marital status. We should have a title that doesn't, in this day and age.

1. We do.

2. It's Ms.

3. HTH.

Another hint... In most European countries you do not take your husbands name, or you combine names as standard or keep your own bloody name, as it is yours.

Thanks to those pointing out Ms is what I'm looking for as that does not mean anything.

I really thought it denoted used to be married. So Ms it is then.

Been divorced 16 years and have always kept ex's name and called myself Mrs. Now if I am filling in new forms etc I put Ms but I can't be bothered changing all my bank accounts etc.

I kept his name as I wanted to have the same surname as my sons, and I kept the Mrs to stop any awkward personal questions at work. (I worked with teenagers who had no boundaries .)

Yes his mother (now deceased bless her) was also Mrs Fridgegrazer and so is his new wife - but I think that bothers her more than it does me.

Call yourself what you are most comfortable with.

Ms.

Imagine if men got called 'bachelor smith' or 'married man jones' or 'divorced wilson' it's the same thing

It's nobody's business

When I was under 18, I used Miss.

From 18 onwards, I used Ms.

When I got married, but haven't legally changed my surname, I use Mrs. MySurname

So I use Mrs. as I am married. However, I have been married 2 years now and I constantly notice that even when I have filled out a form and ticked "Mrs." it always comes back to me as "Ms" !!!! This includes electricity, gas, internet, bank cards, all other bills you can think of. And several other situations you can think of too! Always comes back to me as Ms.!

I don't really care. I think I only really tick "Mrs" as a bit of a novelty for being a newlywed (at the time).