Aibu to want to be a Mrs even though I'm now divorced?

[flirtygirl]

I kept my maiden name and used my married name for the years I was married (13). The married name I've been changing over now but for years I was Miss C Smith or Mrs C Smith Jones (both show on my credit report, passport is in one and driving licence in the other) .

I now want to be Mrs C Smith instead of Miss.

No idea why but it hurts me for people to think I'm a single mum who has never been married, is it my internalised misogyny?

I know it shouldn't matter to be but it does.

A miss suggests spinster and Ms a lesbian or uptight feminist.

I suspect it definitely doesn't. But even if it did ... so? If someone knows you superficially enough to be addressing you by a formal title then in this day and age that makes them practically a stranger. In which case, WGAF what they think?

NB. in my book there's nothing wrong with being a single woman, uptight feminist OR a lesbian. And there are definite advantages to all three! :)

There's no law about what title you use - I have never been married (and use ms, FWIW) but if I wanted to style myself Mrs porcupine, I absolutely could do so. Just like if I got married tomorrow, I'd still be at perfect liberty to call myself Miss.

I've heard people insist that, if you aren't married then "legally" you're a Miss, and the minute you get married you are "legally" Mrs, but that's nonsense. Those titles are a matter of convention , not law.

Call yourself whatever you want, OP.

If I see anyone who signs themselves as mrs in a professional context I just think "bless, haven't you done well and achieved all your life's dreams".

Ms since 18 here and it would be great if people think I am a lesbian feminist! Can't be a spinster as I no longer have a cat.

I have DC but have never been married. Sometimes I use Dr (technically correct) but otherwise always Ms.

Miss sounds like a little girl and Mrs sounds really old-fashioned to me.

Plus until men have a title that denotes their marital status I'll be damned if I'm made to feel I should use one.

Totally agree burnoutbabe!

Miss or Mrs in a professional capacity are both utterly cringeworthy.

I don’t like Ms. Never have done. It’s a construct to appease a group. What is wrong with Miss or Mrs?
If feminists feel that this is demeaning then that’s their problem. Most companies want to know a woman’s title /maiden name in order to check on their credit history. It’s nothing sinister.
The law in this land states that a woman takes their husband’s name. If you don’t like it then you are free, to an extent, to use whichever name you wish but you will still be asked if you’re married or not regarding credit.
Maybe we should adopt the Icelandic method of names ? Seems more logical.

“I think most people use Ms to show they were once married, but now aren't”
Or some of us just had Ms because we don’t want our marital status to be part of our title.

“So technically, if you take your husband’s name you are a Mrs. Technically if you don’t take his surname you are a Ms”

“A miss suggests spinster and Ms a lesbian or uptight feminist. Those are the preconceptions.”

Where do people get this bollocks?

Seriously. In 2019.

“The law in this land states that a woman takes their husband’s name”

More total bollocks.

The law in this land states that a woman takes their husband’s name

U wot luv?

What law would that be then?

The law in this land states that a woman takes their husband’s name

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I hate the whole thing, that men get to be Mr regardless, and women have to have these markers of marital status.

However, I would assume that a Ms is divorced. Any woman I know that uses Ms is divorced.

I have kept my name but I change titles at whim! I am Ms / Miss / Mrs / Dr for different purposes - I have never had any problems with it.

“is it my internalised misogyny? “

Possibly. But you can make a fully in formed choice since you are aware of it. as you are aware of it. Unlike many people on this thread.

MN-ers , please! Make your choices based on educated information. Not outdated ideas, misinformation, and especially not on stereotyped prejudices about other women.

I have kept my name but I change titles at whim! I am Ms / Miss / Mrs / Dr for different purposes - I have never had any problems with it.

Same here, but I never use Ms.

That is a bit offensive to the women let down by men.

But use Ms

“However, I would assume that a Ms is divorced. Any woman I know that uses Ms is divorced.”

Well now you have come across numerous women on this thread who, like me, have used it since they were teens.

Most of my Dc’ female teachers go my Ms.

So will this change your view?

The law in this land states that a woman takes their husband’s name.

Oh sweetheart no. It really doesn’t. At all.

Lots of women use Ms divorced or never married.

I know Miss feels silly when you have kids or when you co-habit, or when you are single in your forties.

Ms is for any body who doesnt want to label hereself. It is not an unusual position.

“However, I would assume that a Ms is divorced. Any woman I know that uses Ms is divorced.“

All the women teachers at both the secondary schools my dcs use Ms. So do I and my dd.

Yes that is not a "given" anymore and hasnt been for 20 years. At least!

I have used Ms since before many of you were born. It has never caused me the slightest inconvenience. And if it had caused a few women hating misogynists to think I’m an uptight feminist-so much the better!

The law in this land states that a woman takes their husband’s name. Um, you know women can marry other women nowadays?

All the women teachers at both the secondary schools my dcs use Ms. Same here, primary too.

Same here. I'm in my late 40s. 17 years ago when i was pregnant, i felt angered trying to order trousers from Blooming Marvellous when i saw that they had no 'ms' in the drop down menu.

I rang up to complain. They had changed it 2 years later. So spinsters and lesbians can order maternity clothes.
I guess I never wanted people to believe I was a lesbian but if they think that, they must think that about an a huge number of women. I like being Ms. If it signals anything, hopefully, it is just that im not taking any perceived status (god help the women who do this) from being somebody's wife
I cringe for women who glory in being a mrs and feel that there is shame in being a Ms.

The law in this land states that a woman takes their husband’s name

I always thought Ms was used by divorced women

Honestly, the pure shit spouted on here makes me despair.

I suspect the people on here who believe this are the same ones who believe in ‘common law’ husbands and wives.

Educate yourselves please!

Yours sincerely
Ms Nights
Spinster, feminist, crone