I don't think nicknames change who you are. My daughter is beautiful. I mean (when she bothers to clean up) men have fallen over themselves to get a better look at her. She ignores them, bc she understands it's one facet of her.
I was a "pretty" girl when I was young. (Not sure now...aging is not a generous friend)
My mother never told me that I was pretty. She told me as an adult, she "didn't want me to have a swollen ego."
That was HORRIBLE!!! Every person wants to be good looking. My poor ego was deflated. I had to seek help to find self-confidence. My early life would have been far less torturous if I had known that I was pretty. Or at least not a "no neck. Round like a pumpkin face" person. She used to quote "oh to see ourselves as others see us." To me. Or "it's more important to be smart than pretty." On and on until i was a wreck. I didn't dare think of myself as pretty.
Not difficult to know I chose rotten men or why is it? Lack of self esteem Queen.
So. I tell my daughter that she is pretty. I also tell her that she's smart, funny, strong, creative and athletic. I tell my son that he's handsome, smart, funny, interesting too.
They are both aware that they are goodlooking ....but also aware that looks aren't everything. But they are important. Of course they are. Just like all parts of them are.
This modern hoo-ha about non-gender/gender neutral isn't something you can force. Males and females are different. They do things differently. Their brains work differently.
Give your children confidence by teaching them that they can do whatever they wish to accomplish by hard work and intelligent thought. Our dd will be an engineer bc she wants to be (if she's not permanently brain damaged by distracted driver). She was as girly girl as anyone God ever made. I used to watch her in her pink clothes out distancing her brother's friends in the park. Bc nobody told her she couldn't. We cheered her to run fast.
Let dc wear what they want. Let them be called loving, lavish nicknames. Ffs stop trying to get them to play with gender neutral/fluid/wtf ever toys. Let them follow their curiosity.
Unless you're like my mother and tell them that they can't do things, or their accomplishments were "things everyone can do." Or they are ugly, THEN you have problems. Most dc have unerring sense of right and wrong; they know they aren't really a princess, but to grandfather, they are. Well. Isn't that wonderful? Maybe all the bridezilla brides would calm down if they felt princess-y as beloved dgc when they were young?
Dc don't need signs or shirts to be successful; they need support. Both genders need support that they are good people. That's love and unwavering commitment. Celebrate who they are and they will believe that they are capable of almost anything.