To never want to share food with DH again?

[NewNameOnSunday]

DH is always buying food for us to share (eg big packets of crisps, tubs of ice cream) but then has a go at me when I take my half saying that I have taken more than half.

Sometimes I weigh it out and he still asks "Are you sure that's only half?" repeatedly and incredulously.

He's just done it again today and I'm fucking sick to death of it. We only live 10 minutes from the shop so it's easy to buy more of anything he wants. He just is always acting like I'm a greedy bitch and it makes me feel upset and insecure.

[00100001]

Fucking hell.


Well, we'd be divorced if we kept tabs in exactly how much of each thing we had.


Does he count the slices of bread you have from a loaf? Measure how much milk you took?

You have a few options:

1. get him to divide things up and have your own boxes/tubs whatever single can't argue...
   
   
2. do the same back to him
   
   
3. carry on as you are, you f you fancy some biscuits take them.
   
   
4. tell him to jog on
   
   5)LTB

[TechnicalSergeantGarp]

He wants more, not a fair share. I agree with others that you buy 2 treats and eat them when you want.

[TomorrowsPrincess]

But your own food! Some people just don't like sharing.

[Beautiful3]

I think just get separate treats. Let him have his and you have yours without stressing. He sounds like a bell end by the way. My brother was the same, growing up. He's obsessed by junk food and offers to share it, but doesnt really want to share. 🙄

[EggysMom]

Just buy individual stuff. We buy two bags of crisps, that means we don't have this debate nor do we have to compromise on flavour. We also buy two tubs of ice-cream for the same reason

[Brexitstash]

It's twattish controlling behaviour OP. Time to leave

[bobsyourauntie]

All this fuss over crisps?! If he is acting like a twat over it, then just each have your own and then there is no problem is there?

Why is he acting like a toddler fighting with his sibling? Has he grown up having to fight for his share? I know that when I was a kid, if mum bought a box of 16 cans of coke, I would have to remove 8 of them or my brother would drink the lot in a couple of days whereas I wanted a can a day, so maybe your DH grew up having to fight for his share of everything, but he shouldn't be taking it out on you.

You shouldn't be afraid to eat food in your own home so do what my friend does, she buys crisps for her, crisps for her DH and crisps for her DS and none of them touch each others so there are no fall-outs

[HollowTalk]

Why does he want you to eat at the same time as him? Is he frightened you might have more than him?

He sounds really greedy. If you intend staying with him then separate cupboards for each of you is the way to go - make sure you have a lock on yours.

[Prokupatuscrakedatus]

There are lockable boxes for cupboards and fridges in shared kitchens. I would get some of those and never share again.
But then he'll probably check the bills to see if there was more money spend on your treats than on his.
Or he doesn't actually buy to share but to dole out. It's his food and he generously lets you have some.

[MarianaMoatedGrange]

His controlling of when you eat your 'treat' is fucking weird as well. Why must you eat ice cream at the same time as him? Don't pander to him. Next time he buys a share item tell him no thanks, and why.

[steff13]

My brother and I used to split everything exactly evenly as kids; if I ate 3 cookies, he ate 3 cookies. But as an adult, if I buy a pack of cookies and eat 1, then go back at some later point and find the kids have eaten the rest, I'm not going to be upset about it because there were 24 cookies and 4 of us so we should have each gotten 6. Who goes through life like that?

[LucileDuplessis]

What a twat. I agree - you need to stop sharing food with him and each have your own share.

The thing about ice cream late at night would annoy me even more actually.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

This is all such a head fuck.

It's meant to be.

I have some issues with food sharing (thanks DBro and DDad). I don't like tapas or sharing foods, I get twitchy and I don't like myself around it. So I own that. I don't do sharing meals unless I can have one things that's 'mine'. I apologise when I'm weird about it. I have tried very hard to socialise DD so she doesn't feel the way I do and she is wonderful at sharing foods.

What I don't do is repeatedly have a go at my loved ones, act like they are lying and make them feel bad. He does. So it's about control, not food.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

And timing your food? That's properly weird and controlling.

[Sparrowlegs248]

This is really odd behaviour.

[VondaVomin]

I agree separate treats are the way forward, but tbh if he had done it to me I would probably have grabbed a giant extra handful, waved it under his nose and told him I would do that every time until he learned to share :)

[Shoxfordian]

It's really unreasonable of him
He seems controlling and greedy

[rubyroot]

What an absolute nob!

We share stuff and sometimes I eat more chocolate bars out of the packet, sometimes he does, as with packets if crisps etc. We also eat at different times. Sometimes I go in the cupboard to find the crisps gone, sometimes he does. Who fucking cares, it's just food.

Do you have a bigger problem than food?

[Orangecake123]

I shared a packet of crisps with a friend. We opened the bag and just ate. There was no counting.

Stop sharing with him. Take your own bag.

[Saracen]

He sounds disturbed. Is this recent behaviour? Is it only with food?

[BreconBeBuggered]

If sharing causes more tension than harmony, you need to stop doing it. It's that simple. I don't divide up everyday things with my DH because he eats loads faster than I do. If we buy sandwiches when we're out, he'll be wrapping up the packaging and heading for the bin before I've got to the end of my first one, and I'm no slouch on the gannet front myself. He wouldn't dream of policing my intake, and I don't pull him up on inhaling the stuff. We get separate things and leave each other to it. I think you need to do the same.

[NewNameOnSunday]

But then he'll probably check the bills to see if there was more money spend on your treats than on his.

It's not a money thing. We have lots of money. I work 4 days a week in a well paid job and he is a SAHD (we split childcare including my days off). We share finances.

I've tried asking him before if we can get separate stuff. He said he likes sharing with me as otherwise it feels like we're roommates not a couple.

I've just told him again thatI don't want to share with him and he should eg buy two tubs of ice cream because I can't take this. He said he doesn't want his own tub of ice cream

I have told him so many times that my issues with food have got so much worse since being with him. He goes mad at the weekends with lots of alcohol, takeaways and chocolate/ice cream in the evenings. I prefer little and often, don't need to pig out at the weekend as I'm happy and rested then and hate sweet stuff late at night but he always gives me major side eye if I'm eating a "treat" in the middle of the week or during the day. He has put all the snacks in what he has called the Treat Cupboard and then tells me off for going to it too often but also tells me off if I try and put healthy snacks in there. I'm just sick of this. I don't want to break up over it as we have our young DS but he just makes me feel so shit.

[MoaningMinniee]

What most of the pps have already said, with bells on. Does he try to control how you spend your time and your money in other ways too?

[MoaningMinniee]

Sorry a lot of xposts there.

[NewNameOnSunday]

Sorry should say we split childcare on my days off