To not want to pay this much towards sil bday?

[thatsmyumbrella]

It's SIL birthday start of dec her bf is organising a surprise birthday gathering and has decided to go to a bowling type place. He told us about it in advance before paying a deposit. He thought it would be a good activity because our two DCs could also be involved. Will only be in-laws my Dh our dcs and sil and bf. They live 5 hours away so we will be staying over in a hotel. He has messaged today asking for us to transfer money to pay for the activity asking for £30pp totalling £120 and has asked that we also chip in for sil. I have phoned him to say that I am happy to pay for me and dh but I didn't realise I would also have to pay this for the Dcs as they are 2 and 4 and won't be able to do much. He's now really annoyed and said he can't get the deposit back and we had know the cost pp prior to booking. I had checked the package and it specified for over 18s so had assumed that it was not the same price for the kids- would I be unreasonable to not pay this? Mil thinks I should just pay it

YANBU. I wouldn’t pay £30 for a pizza, G&T and a game of bowling. I’d pay maybe £20 per adult for that but £30 is pushing it imo and I definitely wouldn’t pay anywhere near that for a child. Your children won’t be able to bowl properly and presumably don’t eat adult portions or drink alcohol.

Why don’t you call up the bowling alley and ask them what the booking is for? Then you will know if he is taking the piss

Localocal - I have to say I have never seen a two year old bowl! I took my niece when she was five and she hated it - was too young, the ball was too heavy and She was bored. I resented paying the £12 it cost for two adults and her, i was have been raging had we formed out the money OP was initially expected to pay. £120 for a family of four, with tiny children to bowl is ridiculous. Even £70 is a massive stretch for such a pedestrian (and dare I say it boring 🤭) activity. The places also usually smell.

The bfs being over sensitive. It is very early in a relationship to ask family members to pay for such an expensive day out. It would be different if he was treating, but when every one is paying their own way he should be more open to what people want.

I still find it hilarious he won’t even cover the girlfriend’s costs, but expected you to pay £120.

I really hope if I was dating such a cheapo my family would give me a heads up.

@Localocal no 2 year old I know would spend more than two minutes bowling before running off and then dissolving in to tears and tantrums because they are expected to sit still for a very boring game or two of bowling, most 4 year old's wouldn't be much better.

Would you seriously fork out all that money for 4 people to go bowling and eat a slice of pizza? Then add on the cost of travel and accommodation for that torturous bowling experience for someone else's birthday. Sounds like a pretty awful way to spend a night.

Once the BF has children of his own (if his life takes him that way of course) he will no doubt see how unfun this would have been for OP and her DH.

He done it for the kids ah sweet-and a bloody lie 2 year olds cant bowl-and the price sounds extortinate

Glad youre not going right decision