To not want to pay this much towards sil bday?

[thatsmyumbrella]

It's SIL birthday start of dec her bf is organising a surprise birthday gathering and has decided to go to a bowling type place. He told us about it in advance before paying a deposit. He thought it would be a good activity because our two DCs could also be involved. Will only be in-laws my Dh our dcs and sil and bf. They live 5 hours away so we will be staying over in a hotel. He has messaged today asking for us to transfer money to pay for the activity asking for £30pp totalling £120 and has asked that we also chip in for sil. I have phoned him to say that I am happy to pay for me and dh but I didn't realise I would also have to pay this for the Dcs as they are 2 and 4 and won't be able to do much. He's now really annoyed and said he can't get the deposit back and we had know the cost pp prior to booking. I had checked the package and it specified for over 18s so had assumed that it was not the same price for the kids- would I be unreasonable to not pay this? Mil thinks I should just pay it

If you do go make damn sure you mention that you all paid for yourselves and chipped in for her if you end up having to. I wouldn't be surprised if he was going to make SIL believe he'd paid the full £240

Call the venue, he sounds like a CF

So he's spending under £30 on his girlfriend and you're spending well over £100 with hotel.
I'd send a card.

At that price I'd want solid gold bowling balls.

Don't pay, OP!

CF.

The kids are not going to bowl. He knows this. Even if they were, it's £4 each, ie £8 in total, not £10!

OP this is a stupid idea. I'd decline his invite now. Such CFery that you guys have to pick up SIL's cost - it is his gift to her therefore he ought to be paying the full amount for her.

OP how old are SIL and BF?

You’re subsidising everyone else... it’s fine to go all out but not if you expect everyone else to pay for it. I can’t see your dc benefiting from the included alcohol!!!! Please don’t pay

I’d tell dh he could go himself for his sister’s birthday and then couldn’t he just stay with his parents?

Very expensive package and I wouldn’t want to be travelling 5 hour there and back with a 2 and 4 year old (not to mention paying for hotel and fuel as well)

Stuck in a bowling alley with a bored 2 and 4yo is likely to be pretty rubbish. One of you will be on kid duty with the 2yo, for sure, and you probably realise that. Our 4.5yo is likely to have a go but equally could get pretty fed up waiting for everyone's turn.

I would buy your sister a lovely £60 birthday gift instead of going bowling (which it's only likely that one of you will be doing as the other will be running around after the bored kids), save the fuel and hotel costs and re-book for Christmas/New Year/January and see your sister then.

He should never have included your children in the player numbers.!

" I don't even want to go now"

Hold onto that thought!

I wouldn't want to go either OP. BF seemed to be sweet thinking of an activity the kids could also be a part of but he is obviously clueless, It could turn into a real chore if the DC get fed up and so expensive. I agree with those saying let DH should go alone if he wants to.

I'd be really surprised if your SIL would even want to go if she knew about it!

Çheeky bastard don't pay.

Can you just reply and say you're really sorry but you double booked on that date and now can't make it?

Cause not only is this costing you £70 for bowling. You're also paying for accommodation and travelling 5 hours. It all sounds a bit bonkers.

Does Sil even like bowling?

We go bowling fairly regularly. Phone the venue this sounds very inflated and if kids aren’t allowed after 5pm they are going to Chuck you out at that time.

So this man has been dating your husbands sister for a while.

Wants to throw her a birthday party, books the most expensive bowling afternoon ever, then asks her family to pay for themselves and for her? He also expects one family to spend £120 for a bowling afternoon,

He sounds awful or weird or both.

Let’s hope this relationship doesn’t last - god knows what a big birthday would set you back😂

I sometimes muster up the courage to take my 5 and 2 year old bowling, id pay the £120 not to take them. It’s sounds like a rubbish party for your sister, does she know about these plans?

It sounds like a Bloomsbury Bowling / All Star Lanes type of place. They allow kids during the day but they aren’t really aimed at children.

He was probably getting you to sub the lot of them. £120 would cover all the adults right?

Sorry but I think he's a tight CFer who's getting you to sub all of them. I'd ring up the place and ask the costs outright, my guess is he's jacked the price up for you to sub SIL and him. What a twat. I'd pull out and send DH alone. Tell him you have already bought a present for SIL. He's trying to look the big man.

And you're paying for a hotel too? Plus driving for five hours? With two small kids
To go bowling with your bros new gf?

Is it just me?

It's not just you @managedmis

Too much hassle and cost for a non event.

I think i would get someone else to mind the kids,and have an adult only event.At least you could enjoy the bowling and have a few drinks.Which would make the hotel worthwhile at least

You'll have to have two lanes for 8 of you. Better that you use one lane and pay for 6 of you. You needn't bowl yourself - just help the kids.

That's a lot of money for the privilege of wearing shoes someone has recently had their sweaty feel in. Bleugh.
There's something fishy going on...... he's trying to shaft you somehow....