To not want to pay this much towards sil bday?

[thatsmyumbrella]

It's SIL birthday start of dec her bf is organising a surprise birthday gathering and has decided to go to a bowling type place. He told us about it in advance before paying a deposit. He thought it would be a good activity because our two DCs could also be involved. Will only be in-laws my Dh our dcs and sil and bf. They live 5 hours away so we will be staying over in a hotel. He has messaged today asking for us to transfer money to pay for the activity asking for £30pp totalling £120 and has asked that we also chip in for sil. I have phoned him to say that I am happy to pay for me and dh but I didn't realise I would also have to pay this for the Dcs as they are 2 and 4 and won't be able to do much. He's now really annoyed and said he can't get the deposit back and we had know the cost pp prior to booking. I had checked the package and it specified for over 18s so had assumed that it was not the same price for the kids- would I be unreasonable to not pay this? Mil thinks I should just pay it

'Have you changed the activity to less identifying? £30 for a game of bowling, a pizza and alcoholic drink???'

I hope so

They'd have to pay me to take part in that

@Wonkybanana exactly

So is there another way you can all go bowling [gak] but not on the package so he doesn't lose the deposit and you aren't paying for something you don't need?

Our local bowling chargers £12 for 2 games + 1/2 pizza. £30??? Jog on!!

That’s madness no way would I be paying £60 for a 2 year old and 4 year old when the website says £4 sorry that’s just not on! I assume they don’t have children?

Can you nor ring the place and see what the prices are.He might be pulling a fast one.

Isn't it her brother's new girlfriend ??

I asked him about the deposit- he's only paid £10! I've told him I'd be happy to reimburse the deposit and we could cancel the package and do a pay as you bowl type thing

I honestly think he must have deliberately or otherwise got his sums wrong. How can it be £240 for 8 adults to go bowling anyway? Who's going to pay that at a bowling alley?

For £120 I could go drinking for the entire day, say noon to the early hours, cover taxis and food; How long does a game of bowling last? There's not a chance I would pay £120 for bowling under any circumstances, and I most definitely wouldn't be paying £30 each for two toddlers, that is madness.

There's better (and more fun) ways to spend £120 for a birthday celebration and bowling wouldn't be it, in my opinion. If your MIL thinks it's fair tell her to pay for the children!

I've read the op wrong sorry I see now no.definitely don't pay what does your dh think

Agree PAYG bowling then on somewhere else for a child friendly meal sounds much better. I know you've looked up the website but I am struggling to believe anyone would pay £30 pp for this package unless it is aimed at Christmas parties or something.

Nosiness got the better of me. Hollywood Bowl does an adult celebration package for £23.69 a head at weekend which include a drink, a host and nibbles during bowling with a finger buffet after. Minimum is 6 adults. No option for children. He's booked the 8 of you in as adults and charging you for 4 adults. I'd guess he just booked 8 guests online without the thought to book for 6 and then pay for 2 kids separately by phoning and explaining. I wouldnt be surprised if you showed up and it was actually an issue that 2 of the adults are actually kids.

Ha ha ha £10 deposit and he's bleating, sounds like a proper catch!

So, he wants you to pay for you and DH and your two DCs and a bit extra on top for SIL as well? Has he charged you for your two DCs at the adult price? And speaking of paying extra for your SIL - doesn't that kind of mean then that if you are all paying for her that he has only paid for himself to go? So he takes all the glory of having organised this event for his new girlfriend but actually all he's done is made the booking and got you all to pay for it? Or am I misreading this.

Personally, if I was organising something like this for my significant other, I'd be very clear with everyone at the outset before I booked anything what they were going to be asked to pay so I could make sure everyone would be fine with it. I wouldn't pay the deposit and then spring it on everyone that they owed me X amount.

Is he booking your kids as adults in the hopes of getting more food and booze for himself and gf?

@rededucator I also think there might be an issue with the kids turning up because it's an 18+ only package from what I've seen online

Wow, that's insane money for stinky bowling.

Really annoying when other people feel you should keep quiet about it being expensive, yet aren't having to shell out nearly so much themselves.

Re chipping in to all pay for her cost is £30 divided by five adults is £6 a head. So your share would be whatever I said before plus £6. I think it was £38.50 x 2 plus a tenner for the kids plus £6 for her in total or somesuch.

Perhaps the reason he wants so much money is to buy her her share of the bowling plus a gift? A big gift!

Clarification from him required as to how he’s worked it all out.

@MrsH99 yes it seems he has counted the dcs as adults so asked us to pay adult price. He did tell dh the price pp before but we (stupidly) assumed this was only for the adults

😂😂😂 he’s pissed off about losing a £10 deposit and expects you to fork out £60 to rectify his error. Idk why you offered to pay tbh. He made a mistake, not you. I wouldn’t refund him.

He's now really annoyed and said he can't get the deposit back

I asked him about the deposit- he's only paid £10!

So he's upset about possibly losing his $10 but he thinks it's OK to expect you to pay $60 for your kids who can't play in addition to $60 for you & DH & a contribution to SIL's fee??????

At this point I would cancel the whole trip & offer him his $10. No way would I drive that distance & pay for a hotel just before Christmas to spend time with this clown! Depends how keen you are on the rest of the family I suppose but if MIL thinks you should pay I wouldn't be too keen to spend much time with her either.

Why isn't he paying for SIL? Why shoud you all chip in? It's his bloody ridiculous idea.

Yes, I agree. He should be paying for SIL by himself. You’ll have to stay at a hotel. Drive 5 hours with 2 littlies. Sounds like a complete shit time tbh.

Can you call the bowling place yourself?
I would be very surprised if they charge for them. You could give the date and t8me of the booking and ask the place what they could do for you as kiddies had been added in error....blah blah!
They will probably just credit £60 back t9booking.
Problem solved, if not perhaps you could payup for this or sil present, his choice?!