To think some posters will always say the school / teacher is not being unreasonable

[andineverwill]

It really does feel you can’t criticise schools / teachers on here.

SandyY2K

Some people will defend teachers come hell or high water. It's like they can't possibly be wrong.

And as demonstrated by the OP some people will defend the parents/pupils come hell or high water etc.

I think when parents post on here it's always worth remembering that it's only one side of the story and usually based on hearsay (i.e. their kid's account).

That's not defending teachers or claiming they can't possibly wrong.

I’m defending no one boney

I’m pointing out that just as teachers aren’t always wrong, they aren’t always right either.

ChilledBee

I think it’s appalling that pupils feel they have the right (and sometimes the approval of their parents) to film others without their permission. Nobody has to go to school. They can be educated at home. There is no need whatsoever for abusive behaviour, from anybody.

There's a difference between witnessing someone screaming at a child in a supermarket and hearing a version of a story from a child that a teacher screamed at them. I think its best to get both sides. If parents didnt always take every tiny exaggeration from a child as a reason to storm into the head's office then most of these dramas would not even occur. But some parents are very 'anti-establishment' anyway and will look for any excuse for a confrontation

In a lot of lessons 'Why are you having a go at me, I haven't done nothing?' Yes that is the problem you haven't done anything all lesson'. 'Mum I've got a detention from sarcastic vindictive btard* teacher for not doing nothing'.

If there were CCTV in all classrooms and parents were allowed to see the footage, it would be the behaviour of their children that would horrify them, not the actions or attitudes of the teachers. I've often wished that certain kids' parents could be flies on the wall.

I can't quite fathom why I am asked for insight/triggers/how to support DS3, teacher then does the opposite, then I get a phonecall to say it's all gone wrong.

Is it an ego thing? Trying to prove I'm wrong? It's weird and frustrating.

lazylinguist

I think it would probably go like this: behaviour would improve (most children wouldn’t want their parents to see them behaving as many of them do), but pressure would increase, because complaints about word use, timing, debates about best practice etc., would increase.

I believe, fundamentally, that you need to extend a certain amount of trust to the adults you allow to educate your children. If you can’t, you need to educate them yourself.

I agree with the cctv in classrooms just to show parents how awful the behaviour of some pupils is. Mind you, some parents would still back their child and blame the teacher for the behaviour.

Yes I wouldn't really want cctv, but I have moments when it would be great to show parents how their child behaved. Though I'm guessing some of the kids who don't care about detentions etc in school also wouldn't give a monkey's about their parents seeing their behaviour, as they are probably much the same at home.

I'm a teacher a primary headteacher, and can see a number of sides to this.

Firstly children do tell stories from their own point of view,its part of their development they are ego centric.

Sometimes they have a valid concern, sometimes they don't,sometimes it's a matter of opinion.

Teachers are not infallible, none of us are.

Sometimes parents appear not to know their kids and will blame the school for anything, I have kids and if someone says my ds2 was chatting in class, he probably was.

This, is combined with the bizarre complaints I have had over the years,often times these complaints ,will be screamed at a member of staff.

These non complaints (a lot of water bottle ,jumper ,homework issues)will often drown out more serious issues Which I do want to know about and will deal with.Its like a collective ' boy who cried wolf '.

Most parents (people)are reasonable as are most teachers, we all want the best for our children, we need to be supportive of each other,let the minor things go and deal with each other respectfully and kindly.

andineverwill

You have very clearly picked a side.

Teachers are not perfect and it as all to often pointed out on here.

But saying that both sides should be told is not siding with a teacher, it is not automatically assuming that a child is lying.

It is a sensible thing to do for all logical thinking people.

DobbinsVeil

I can't quite fathom why I am asked for insight/triggers/how to support DS3, teacher then does the opposite, then I get a phonecall to say it's all gone wrong.

Part of the reason for this is because in some/most of the information that teachers get for pupils in your DS's situation is contradictory.

In some cases teachers are not able to prove for the needs of 30+ children in one room as the requirements are contradictory.

In some cases the school's behaviour policies make it unworkable

And in some cases teachers ignore all information and do what they like.

@andineverwill

*I’m defending no one boney hmm

I’m pointing out that just as teachers aren’t always wrong, they aren’t always right either.*

Well you most certainly are not pointing it out, you seen in all your comments focus on how people defending teachers are always wrong, despite of what your say you seem to be very partial.

I would be happy to have table cameras in class. Then I could actually show parents what is going on, and show the students themselves too ( I honestly think some of them just don't realise what time they are wasting. Given the recent increase in violent behaviour and the complete lack of staff ( just me and 35 kids) cameras would actually help protect me. I've had to evacuate my class 4 times this half term and each time had to justify it to slt. Cameras would have helped me there.

BoneyBackJefferson The most recent incident was the day after a meeting the teacher was in, along with Head. She absolutely needn't have done what she did, she wasn't even teaching the class and DS3 went from calm to bolting with 7 adults in pursuit! The previous incident was purposefully overruling 1 part of a plan drawn up by the Head.

And I've long said I don't expect them to be able to meet his needs, but they must express that to the LA.

DobbinsVeil

As I said some teachers ignore instructions and do what they like.

Nobody is perfect and yes I include teachers in that.

DobbinsVeil

What was the plan? Sometimes ‘plans’ sound very reasonable to everyone except the person expected to deliver them.

I think there are a handful of posters who do take that line.

On one thread I had posted (as an example of schools/teachers not always being reasonable), that I asked for my my daughter (clinically diagnosed with anxiety, early trauma prior to adoption) to have an opportunity to get to know her next teacher a little in the last term of the old year, in order to make it easier for her AND the new teacher in term one of the new school year.

I was attacked and ridiculed for expecting teachers to have the time, even though I had suggested that they include her in some activity the teacher was already planning to do.

It was only one or two posters taking that line, but only one of the teachers also posting on that thread putting the teacher's point of view posted to say that they did find my request reasonable and it was the sort of thing they did quite often, though there were a number posting about unreasonable requests that they had experienced.

The whole thing rapidly becomes polarised.

Allington

I remember that thread. It isn’t the case that anybody was suggesting that teachers are never wrong. They were explaining to you why you couldn’t have what you wanted. That’s different.

I wonder if there needs to be a designated thread like the Stately Homes one for people who have had negative experiences from their schools or particular teachers. Somewhere we can talk about it without being expected to apologise for "bashing" to posters that had nothing to do with the situations.

Ignore the preschool bit... generally as a rule it works. Communication breakdown is normally what has happened.

I wonder if that would be a good idea, snuggy

ickle, I’m sure there are some parents daft enough to believe the ‘I was put on detention and ALL I was doing was sitting there doing NOTHING’ sort of nonsense, but that’s not really what I’m about here.

I think there’s a lot of defensiveness and that means that parents find it difficult to talk about ongoing issues (I’ve seen posters who say firmly and categorically that something happened only to be told it didn’t) and also past issues, which can have a knock on effect into adulthood.

I had a horrific time with a year 6 teacher which in turn impacted on my start at secondary.