To think some posters will always say the school / teacher is not being unreasonable

[andineverwill]

It really does feel you can’t criticise schools / teachers on here.

To be fair. The voice level you need to address a class - even a silent one - is already louder than a conversational voice. You are projecting. So the voice used to grab a child's attention or to reprimand them will be that much higher too.
I also notice that some pupils view "any sentence they disagree with" as being one that is screamed at them, irrespective of your actual tone of voice.

There are way more teacher criticising threads than teacher supporting threads. It has to be the most maligned profession on MN.

What I notice is that the OP/parent always believed the child's side of the story. She got eleventy detentions/teacher hates her/walloped her/told her she was a waste of space etc. If someone suggests going in to clarify, it's met with a "my child doesn't lie" retort.

I suppose teachers and schools are fair game because many people on here have school aged children but you'd certainly be hard pressed to find another profession that (seemingly) every end user could do better.

Isn't it more likely on the indefensible threads, that they don't post. Which I think applies to bad spouses/in-law/landlord threads.

Kid's version:

"Miss Whiskey was so rude and horrible to me. I had to stay in at break to do maths and she didn't even help me! She treats me like a slave, and is always forcing me to things I don't want to do!".

My version:

Jane didn't do any of her maths work so I told her she can come at my table and I will help. She refused because she didn't want to do it. I told her she can either do it now with help or during break on her own with SLT. She said she can always just stay in at assembly and do it then. I told her that is not an option and that the choice is hers, do it now or at break time. Jane storms out of the classroom.

Both versions are mostly true. She really did think it was rude of me to want her to do her work when I (and policy) decided not whenever she wants.

And don't forget many teachers are also parents, so they are used to hearing the child's version of events too. My 14 yo dd is in full 'school's boring and teachers are mostly horrible' teenager mode. Many are the same teachers that she thought were great when she was a keen 11 yo. The teachers haven't changed. She just doesn't like doing what she's told any more!
Teenagers are often stroppy, awkward and difficult creatures (as well as being fascinating and fun), but they still manage to sell sob stories to their parents (who go into protective parent mode and temporarily forget what pains in the arse they can also be at home, and how much they exaggerate and distort the truth when it suits them).

Why don’t we have a thread bashing retail workers / train conductors / florists for a change?

I'm in my 50s and I struggle to think about my school days without getting upset and when my DCs come home with stories of their teachers I still feel the same. Most are sarcastic vindictive b**tards

Some parents always think their children are incapable of doing anything wrong, therefore must be the school or teacher.

I find it fascinating how defensive teachers get, I really do.

I can’t imagine a thread criticising one retail worker would have accusations of retail worker bashing ...

Teacher note in communication book: "after lunch DS3, was very disruptive running around throwing things, had to be sent to Yr4 for the afternoon."

DS3: "miss took my chair away when I was sitting on it"
(I thought he was joking, he was quite adamant. Suspected something happened with the chair and asked if any incidents happened)

School response, 4 days after being asked "well what happened was DS3 was rocking on a chair, Miss tried to steady it but he fell off"

Me: "Why not record this as you know hurt and embarrassment trigger meltdowns and that would at least explain it"

School " teacher's are professionals, are you suggesting she did it on purpose?"

Me: "that's not what I said at all, I asked why it wasn't recorded"

I never did get an answer!

And that's not an isolated occurrence, given snippets but omitting key things.

Most are sarcastic vindictive btards

Are you actually being serious? Is it any wonder teachers are leaving in their droves with this nasty kind of attitude towards them? What a nasty, insulting generalisation to make. I seriously hope that is a joke comment.

I'm in my 50s and I struggle to think about my school days without getting upset and when my DCs come home with stories of their teachers I still feel the same. Most are sarcastic vindictive btards

Well I struggle to think about what I went through at home without getting upset and when kids come to school with their stories of their parents I still feel the same. Most parents are feckless,abusive ,sadistic bastards.

Oh wait...

“I find it fascinating how defensive teachers get, I really do.”

“ Most are sarcastic vindictive b**tards”

It’s a complete mystery, isn’t it?

I'm not a teacher, but I work with children. Some of the stories that the children come out with, stories against teachers, TAs, parent helpers and other children are horrendous and could lead to sackings (and criminal proceedings) if they were believed. Thankfully CCTV and the threat of CCTV usually calms the situation and the truth (that often bears no relation to the story!) comes out.

A lot of our parents start with "my child never lies" and end with "I'll kill the little fucker"

I think the problem with many of these threads is that often the parent is repeating something said by the child and they haven’t got the full story. Not that long ago on here a poster wanted to write a letter of complaint because her DS asked her why boys are more naughty than girls - which is sexist and of course he must have heard this from the class TA The poster had no proof of this, the son hadn’t even claimed this, but was ready to write a cross letter. And of course most posters agreed that was pretty unreasonable since her DS could have heard this from another child/parent or was simply making an observation based on his own class experience. If the poster said she herself had heard the TA say something like ‘boys are always the naughty ones’ then of course most would have agreed with the OP that that was sexist and not acceptable.

Characterising any thread where someone raises genuine concerns or difficulties as "teacher bashing" to try and undermine or shut it down is the kind of thing the op is suggesting happens.

So those doing that here rather prove her point.

I've seen threads with ops looking for help and advice about a legitimate issue and still people pop up crying "teacher bashing".

It just makes you look like a dick who thinks teachers should be positioned above scrutiny and never required to reflect on their own mistakes. You're not fucking perfect and you do yourselves and the profession a great disservice when you bully and malign people with worries or concerns.

Florists. Fuckers the lot of 'em.

I think there’s an awful lot of disagreement about what constitutes the right thing to do in any given situation. People also tend to have one side of an argument. Teachers will often have a very different perspective to non-teachers about what possibly happened in a situation where a child comes home and says, “I got detention and I was JUST turning round to pick up my rubber.”

Exactly quince

My DS science teacher has it in for my son, plain and simple.

He is in the top set, never answers back, always does his homework on time, but gets very anxious about not doing his work to a good standard etc, not the most confident of boys ( and the senco is fully aware of this as he has a mentor and starting therapy)

ALL His other teachers commend him on his behaviour, hard work etc, his math teacher is his biggest fan of all to the point I call her his second mother, lol and if it wasn’t for her his confidence would probably be totally shot, however according to his science teacher he has never done anything up to standard to warrant a merit,despite him always getting his homework in on time and always getting 80% and above. The only times she has commented was to give him a demerit for saying “ouch” when he banged his arm on the table = he “disturbed the class” , and the other day for talking with his classmate whilst waiting to go into the class... not in the class, but in the corridor waiting to go in, yet The friend who was equally engaged in the conversation did not get a demerit.

Every single teacher has given my son a merit at some point except science, the real piss take was when they have their pop quizzes, he usually gets 7/8/9 out of 10, but if the child gets 10/10 they are awarded a merit, this has been the practice within the class from the week he started.

My son revised hard and got 10/10 on the last two tests, yet he did not get the merit, that the others receives, as a result he’s now thinking why bother and his confidence is starting to waver as no matter what he does he has noticed this teacher will never think his work is good enough and it’s quite sad to watch your child question themselves like that, especially when you know they work the put in.

The only saving grace is that I refer him back to how much all his other teachers think his work is good, and how he is rewarded for his hard work by those teachers.

I plan on addressing this with her when they get back to School. I’m all for schools disciplining and I also understand some teachers may have a higher level before dishing out credits but there has to be a balance.. only looking at the negative and never recognising the positive really isn’t the way to go.

Have you noticed that the defence given is always reminiscent of an adult who is dismissing abuse claims from a child? Either they misunderstood or they provoked it or we don't understand how stressed/deprived the adult it

I have. That’s what I find really, really concerning.

People often don’t tend to post if they agree with the OP. They will post if they have advice or if they disagree. That’s why your perception is skewed.

It’s rather proving the point the number of “oh goody a teacher bashing thread”...

Teachers are as likely to behave poorly as any other person, there are a couple of posters who would argue themselves blue in the face the teacher cannot possibly be in the wrong.

It’s tiresome.

Should school staff always believe the account of a child about what happened at home with no investigations,circumstances, other sides etc?

Funnily enough when that happens and SS are involved with no warning or discussion parents are also "fuming", "raging" and "complain to Ofsted" because no one talked to them first.