To think some posters will always say the school / teacher is not being unreasonable

[andineverwill]

It really does feel you can’t criticise schools / teachers on here.

And what was agreed at that meeting?

Look, I understand that I am being picky here, but the whole scenario of the teacher knowing your DS doesn’t have to attend FS, leaving her planning and marking (PPA isn’t abandoned lightly) and “tricking” your DS into going to the place he had permission not to attend just makes no sense. It is irrational, which is why I am finding it hard to believe. On some level the teacher must have thought that action was necessary, because otherwise it makes no sense. That is what I am trying to get to the bottom of here.

So again, when you say “excused” from FS, who excused him?

@WhiskeyLullaby
we need consistency

Well, there's the difficulty. When you have SLT demanding 'consistency', no matter what the needs of the child, the teacher is in an impossible situation. They are not allowed to respond to SNs, even when documented and supported by the relevant experts.

The Head and the HLTA who was covering the class that day.

DS3 was in school uniform and the pupils must be wearing old clothes to do FS. So yes, it's all very odd.

The Head and the HLTA who was covering the class that day.

But not the teacher? So did the teacher know that the HT had excused him? Had adequate supervision been arranged for him, and NOT in her workspace? Please don’t forget that the classroom is probably the only space the teacher has in which to do her planning and marking, and she cannot legally be directed by the HT during her PPA. So what the HT agreed (once again) may not have been possible.

The teacher wasn't in clsss, there's an area she has her NQT & PPA time as it's the whole day.

He had a TA with him, even if he were wrongly in her space, he was not dressed for FS.

Again I will talk to her tomorrow and find out what she had been told about DS3 and FS

And why she didn't tell him where they were going

I’m a teacher who also had a son with HFA in school.
My take on what happened is that his teacher is an NQT who thinks inclusion means he should be included in everything, and if she throws enough time, love, effort and general teachering at him, all will be well and he will become a happy little bunny who copes in mainstream.
Well-intentioned, theoretical knowledge, but not actually reading what’s in front of her. And dismissing parental experience.
Possibly discussions between you may help her channel that willingness to help more usefully.

If it wasn't a one off then the teacher would know.

He was with a TA so there was adequate supervision.

Since the teacher came in the class and saw him it's possible she was working in a different space. It happens in some schools,especially since most of the time the children will be having actual lessons in the class.

There are obviously some issues with the school , it doesn't mean that the teacher is a horrible human being or that PP is an OTT parent.

Sounds more like the Head keeps promising and making plans that aren't reasonable and then the rest of the staff needs to pick up the slack.

Again I will talk to her tomorrow and find out what she had been told about DS3 and FS

Sounds like a good idea.

Sounds more like the Head keeps promising and making plans that aren't reasonable and then the rest of the staff needs to pick up the slack.

With bells on.

Most of the time the whole story isn’t told... 😜

And why she didn't tell him where they were going

Presumably because he runs away if you tell him he’s going anywhere he doesn’t want to go?

Head doesn’t want to cover PPA, Head wants HLTA to cover PPA. HLTA currently needed to sharpen pencils with DS, so Head tells NQT to show him Forest School so he can see how fun and unscary it is and hopefully will want to join in next week.

NQT obliges during her own PPA. Takes DS on a walk so they can swing by Forest School and say ‘gosh, look how fun it is’ before coming back to school.

DS thinks he will be made to do Forest School, does a runner and all hell breaks loose.

Head who gave instructions is vague to parent to cover up his part. NQT gets blame.

Is another possible scenario.

BUT WE DON’T KNOW. So ask the teacher.

Presumably because he runs away if you tell him he’s going anywhere he doesn’t want to go?

This was the first time he'd run away. He doesn't leave the classroom when disruptive, he has to be removed.
But this happened outside so he ran back towards his classroom (then was chased around inside school).

Besides, if she thought he was going to run away if told in advance, what did she think would happen when they got to FS?

Besides, if she thought he was going to run away if told in advance, what did she think would happen when they got to FS?

It’s a good question. Ask her what happened. You’ve spent quite a few hours discussing this without the key information you need to understand her perspective.

I read a newspaper article last week mum slammed school for not giving her son a hot meal. This week turns out he was also offered shepherds pie and a pudding.

This is an example of why I usually suspect there is more to the story .

In my own case I ask the teacher not Mn. I have found it far more effective at resolving issues

YANBU.

I am supportive of schools and teachers, it’s a bloody hard job and I wouldn’t want to do it.

But like everyone else they are just human and don’t always get it right, but some people on here will just never criticise them. Eg the thread a few weeks ago about the whole class detention for a few kids arsing around.

Eg the thread a few weeks ago about the whole class detention for a few kids arsing around.

Loads of teachers said whole class detentions (when undeserved by individuals) are completely unfair.

You’ve spent quite a few hours discussing this without the key information you need I want to understand her perspective.

FTFY

I'm satisfied with what the HT and SENCo have said about it.

I'm using this to suggest more reasonable outcomes

So far

"By the end of KS1, DS3 will be able to take part in all aspects of school life, including visits to unfamiliar or previously feared places, without any adult support.

His sensory difficulties will not present during the school day and he will meet all academic expectations for his age."

Because often the poster is not able to see the bigger picture. The school has 750 maybe at primary - 2-3000 at secondary and has usually dealt with similar before. Some people want very unreasonable measures put in place. Of course there are incidents where the school is in the wrong but far more likely there's multiple approaches

You’ve spent quite a few hours discussing this without the key information you need I want to understand her perspective.

That’s a pile of shite, being not so polite about it. 😂 I don’t care about the outcome of this either way. I am pointing out your unreasonableness in criticising the teacher without seeming interested in her decision-making. It’s irrational and speaks of your prejudice. But it’s your issue, not mine.

Loads of teachers said whole class detentions (when undeserved by individuals) are completely unfair.
I think that thread was fairly unanimous saying whole class detentions weren't good

There's loads of threads on here where a range of views are shared. The only people who sit and fester and stew about some bizarre teacher worshipping or inbility to criticise schools on here are those only interested in seeking unquestioning validation of being fuming or who are wanting a pat on the back for terrible inflammatory replies/advice.

But it's the bottom line for DS3 that matters. It doesn't matter if it was well intentioned or not. Or whether it's because he was in the teacher's space when he shouldn't have been. It's reinforced that DS3 can't trust her. And he's the one that faced the consequences (highly anxious, fixed term exclusion).

So laugh until you cry away, we all get our kicks in different ways

DobbinsVeil

Yes, those things do matter when you calling someone a bully and suggesting they are taking certain actions out of spite. Of course they matter. Your child matters to you, but it isn’t reasonable to suggest that this can exclude all other considerations for everyone else.

Where did I call anyone a bully? Or say it was done out of spite?

And no, it doesn't matter to DS3, for the reasons above.