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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How often do people call their MIL?

341 replies

Geneva1995 · 18/10/2019 18:26

Just wondering how often people speak to their MIL on the phone. I speak to my mum every other day but I don’t feel the need to ring mil half as much and DP seems to think I’m unfair.
She rang last night and I missed her call so she rang DP and asked if she’d done something to upset me. I was in the shower!

We live 300 miles away so we don’t either of our parents often

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 18/10/2019 18:33

Never
Dh speaks to her once a week, she's his mum, not mine

IfIHadAPenny · 18/10/2019 18:33

How often does your DH call your mum for a chat?

Countryescape · 18/10/2019 18:33

Never! Not my mum. My husband can ring her!

Floopily · 18/10/2019 18:34

Never. I have her on FB but other than that I would have no way of getting hold of her!

Runningsmooth · 18/10/2019 18:34

Never but I see her once a week. 😱

Original poster
Geneva1995 · 18/10/2019 18:35

I have a feeling she’s only ringing to drop hints on what she wants for Christmas Grin

OP posts:
RiftGibbon · 18/10/2019 18:35

I see mine around once a week, so no need to phone, but sometimes will to see if they (PIL) need anything, or want to come over for a meal, or sometimes for emergency babysitting.
I'm quite close to them as we live nearby and my DM and DF are dead.

Baguetteaboutit · 18/10/2019 18:36

I'm supposed to do that?

Walnutwhipster · 18/10/2019 18:36

I can't remember the last time I phoned her.

Ihateedmundelephant · 18/10/2019 18:37

I’ve never phoned my MIL! Literally not once Blush

Choice4567 · 18/10/2019 18:37

I love my MIL. she’s lovely and I have no issues chatting with her whenever I see her. But I wouldn’t ring her unless I had sketching specific to discuss. She rarely rings me and it’s only if she needs to ask something. Don’t think it’s occurred to either of us to phone for a chat!

On the other hand I talk to my mum for 45 minutes every day. What on earth we find to talk about I don’t know

Allfednonedead · 18/10/2019 18:37

I love my PIL, but I only phone them if there’s something specific - usually logistics, which are not DH’s strong point. He does all the chatty phone calls with them.

SunshineAngel · 18/10/2019 18:38

I think it depends on the relationship. My ex's mum used to call our flat all the time, but always did it in an evening when she knew I would be on my own. My ex was an oddball, and I think she figured pretty quickly she could have a much nicer conversation with me than with him. I didn't mind, and we're still in touch 4 years after I broke up with my ex.

My currently partner doesn't really talk to his mum on the phone at all, and neither do I (his mum OR mine - though me and my mum text a lot). We live quite close though so will drop in every so often. I don't know of many people who actively phone their MIL for chats, to be honest.

Frangipane · 18/10/2019 18:38

In 25 years of marriage, I have only rung her once, when dh was unexpectedly in hospital. She sometimes rings me and we chat, but that is very rare and even then, she always rings with an initial reason in mind, beyond just chatting.

zafferana · 18/10/2019 18:38

Never. My DH also never calls my DM. We would, if we needed to, it's just that neither of us calls the other one's DM for a chat.

goodtoseeyou · 18/10/2019 18:38

Never and we got on ok

galvantula · 18/10/2019 18:39

Never.

Unless I have to answer some query, or DH wants me to let her know we've left to drive to her house or something.

She's not terrible or anything, it's just DH's job to call her 😄

I do send her pics of the kids and stuff now and again.

Gillian1980 · 18/10/2019 18:39

I text her every few days and talk to her every couple of weeks. See her every 4-6 weeks, sometimes with DH and kids, sometimes alone.

DH talks to her a lot less! He prefers texting and then proper talks in person.

I text and ring my own dp about the same but see them in person more often (dp 10 mins away, mil an hour away).

BluebellCockleshell123 · 18/10/2019 18:39

Never. I love my MIL but wouldn't really call her. She doesn't like speaking on the phone anyway so I think she's happy about it. She never really calls me either. We do text though.

Tweetingmagpie · 18/10/2019 18:40

Never, we text occasionally and I see her probably monthly, I like her but I don’t keep in touch unless there’s a reason to.

formerbabe · 18/10/2019 18:40

Never

eurochick · 18/10/2019 18:41

Never. I hate chatting on the phone to anyone. I make an exception for my parents but that's it. My husband usually FaceTimes her and I will give her a wave and ask if she's well if I'm in the room.

KatharinaRosalie · 18/10/2019 18:42

Never. Nothing wrong with her, I might wave and say hi when DH Facetimes her. DH doesn't call my mum either.

Mandatorymongoose · 18/10/2019 18:43

Never.

I've sent her maybe 3 text messages in the last 10 years or so? DH doesn't ring her that often either though.

APipkinOfPepper · 18/10/2019 18:43

Never! We have texted occasionally although not recently. DH contacts her, it’s his mum. Likewise DH wouldn’t call my parents.