How often do people call their MIL?

[Geneva1995]

Just wondering how often people speak to their MIL on the phone. I speak to my mum every other day but I don’t feel the need to ring mil half as much and DP seems to think I’m unfair.
She rang last night and I missed her call so she rang DP and asked if she’d done something to upset me. I was in the shower!

We live 300 miles away so we don’t either of our parents often

Hmm I text her every couple days. Maybe ring every couple weeks, see her weekly tho and I'm on holiday with her now!

We get on really well and as she's recently widowed I make an extra effort to spend time/contact her

Oh ffs, talk about making things up. It wasn't superior, patronising or emotional blackmail. As I wasn't telling anyone what to do or how to think or shaming anyone for not doing it or saying I was better than anyone. At all.

Nor do I think everyone should ring their MiLs. Especially if they're hateful, manipulative or any other negative quality. So that was just made up too.

It's a bit like being a stepmother though on here. Anyone who ever dares to criticise a DiL (even though I didn't) does get absolutely piled in on, whatever the circumstances. But it just seems ridiculous to me that women who happen to have sons would be any more bitchy, narcissistic or unhelpful than those who have daughters. And yet you wouldn't get that impression from MN.

Wanky, I can accept, as I can see it seems a bit needy to be worried about not being involved in family life with my sons. Actually it mainly comes from pages and pages of slagging MiLs off on here. Maybe it's a distorted view because those that have a good relationship with their MiLs probably don't post.

But jesus, all I said was it makes me a bit sad not that anyone was a bitch or selfish or unreasonable.

Troilusworks that's what emotional blackmail is - making people who are not responsible for your emotions responsible for your emotions. Behave/ post as I want or it'll be your fault I'm sad.

Well, tbf, Troilus, YOU are the one making things up. This thread is not a MIL bashing thread, it is a simple question about how often the op should ring her MIL according to her DH. If anything, it's a DH bashing thread.

Maybe you can take your, yes, superior, virtue signalling, distortion of what is on THIS ACTUAL THREAD and make your own thread.

"AIBU to say that actually, MILs aren't all as vindictive and narcissistic as MN would generally have you think?"

There, I've done it for you.

And, I can probably invent the responses for you too. "Some are, some aren't. You get more negative stories on MN as that is the nature of this sort of forum. People come here for help with problems, not to go on about their perfectly normal, nice MIL".

You are the one who twisted the thread to make it all about you and how "kind" you are and how "sad it made you" that others aren't as kind as you. Slow clap for you dear, but start your own fucking thread.

My MIL is a lovely woman, but I'm not the one she wants to speak to. That would be her son. So he rings her.

My mother is a lovely (most of the time) woman, but DH is not the one she wants to speak to. That would be me, her daughter. So I ring her.

We didn't marry each other's mothers, and we're both capable of picking up a phone.

I have quite literally never rung, texted or emailed my MIL even once in over a decade...she’s his mum, not mine! We get, I like her, but we just don’t have that relationship 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm one of the ones who said I NEVER call my MIL and that it should be DH who does all that/, likewise he does not call my mother

Have to add that I get on well with MIL, she is generally kind and lovely but we do not have that sort of relationship

Hell, I don't even have that kind of relationship with my own mother!

and by saying I never call her is not some code for saying she is some dreadful MIL from hell

My MIL has 2 sons... so I understand maybe every now and again she wants a educated conversation with me

Not very often, but we've got a family WhatsApp group and I speak to her on there every day and see her at least once a week when she looks after DS, we get on well, she's lovely.

Never. I text occasionally in regards to DS and see her once a week. I speak to my own mum everyday. But MIL is DH's mother not mine 🤷‍♀️ I really like her just don't see the need to call her

In 7 years - never. She rings our landline and I've occasionally answered before DH so we made polite conversation before I hand the phone over. We do email every so often - mostly me sending photos of the children. DH and his brother are rubbish at keeping in touch so I feel I owe her something

I have called my MIL twice in 24 years. DH calls his mum and I call mine (about once a week).

Don’t any of you allow your children to talk to their paternal grandparents on the phone?
My grandchildren are always calling me to tell me what they have been doing or asking when we will see them.
It seems such a shame.

I never ring my Mum (NC). Probably ring my Dad once or twice a week. Ring MIL maybe once a term.

Used to ring her more often when the kids were preschoolers so that they could talk to her. Now, we're much busier so it doesn't enter my head. Other half rings her at least once a week.

Don’t any of you allow your children to talk to their paternal grandparents on the phone?
My grandchildren are always calling me to tell me what they have been doing or asking when we will see them.
It seems such a shame.

The op is asking if the DIL should phone the MIL frequently, for a little chat. Not the GC. Completely different.

I send the in laws pictures of the kids maybe once a month.

I never call just like my DH never calls my mum. He speaks to his own mum every couple of days.

I have no independent comms with my mil (either of them) at all and have no intention of doing so. I have to nag DH massively to get him to send them the briefest of texts every blue moon...

I have frequent exchanges with my own parents but my in laws are next to nothing to do with me!

Never. Go me!

Agatha
Not different at all, I was referring to young children not yet old enough to make phone calls unassisted; therefore a parent would have to do it for them!

Never. Her number is blocked on my mobile. Husband rarely talks to her as been three years since she and fil bothered to see our children. My mum, I message daily but don't often talk unless the kids want to FaceTime

I used to phone my mum every day, or every few days (she died 8 years ago) then i spoke to my dad maybe once a week.(he never wanted to talk to me on the phone always just passed me to DM!)
DH calls his parents around once a week and i speak to his mum most times. Sometimes she calls us and i am more likely to speak with her than DH because he's usually too lazy to answer the phone

i speak to my own mum maybe once a week at most. DH speaks to her whenever he doesnt spot the caller ID and picks up the house phone to her. I dont expect him to speak to her.

i speak to his mum probably daily on text either about things on tv or the DC or just things going on with DHs family members (like she updated me about someones holiday the other day). he probably texts his mum once a week.

Very rarely. DH has a medical condition that has led to hospital stays. I've phoned about those but given she's never once offered to come running to be with me and help with our children DH prefers me to phone my parents. Even before the children were born she would never offer to come as support she'd just ask to be kept up to date. He tends to now phone her himself after the fact. Not that he's needed hospitalised for a long while.

I occasionally will text/WhatsApp pictures of the children if there's a cute one but she's on Facebook so sees them there anyway if I post.

I'm not one for long chatty phone calls anyway so wouldn't generally pick up the phone and phone anyone.