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Original poster

Do i let her know that i have found her letter

318 replies

user1471427614 · 13/10/2019 20:22

I need some opinions. To cut a long story short. Husband made friends with a single mum doing the school run. She lived further down the road from us so would sometimes walk the same way, husband told me about this.

Single mum then bumps into husband says shes moving away and whats his name so she can add on facebook. I comment this is strange and add her too. She later defriends me but keeps husband and likes most posts.

Unknown to me they are now chatting and metting up with children for shopping...lunch etc. I find out (they were seen) and words are had about breaking boundaries etc. I say that she has her eye on him, he says its not like that, she just has problems and needs a freind.

I have now found letter from her to husband confessing undying love and that she wants to marry him have children etc. Her letter makes it clear that nothing physical has happened and that he has said he wouldnt leave me but hes obviously making her think she stands a chance. Husband knows i have found this letter and will be dealt with when he gets back from work.

The question now is do I let her know that i know about her letter and what shes up to with my husband?

OP posts:
ballsdeep · 13/10/2019 21:42

Biggest crock of shite I've read today.

I'd bet my bottom dollar he's read the letter. Who picks a letter out of their pocket and doesn't realise what it is? I think he's playing the two of you off against each other

Juells · 13/10/2019 21:42

Where did it appear from, then? How would it be in a pocket for months and only now be discarded in the kitchen? None of it makes sense.

BlackSwan · 13/10/2019 21:42

donquixotedelamancha
"she's still in the house"
Shock

BlackSwan · 13/10/2019 21:43

but really - the simplest explanation is often the correct one. He's a gas lighting fucker.

Ginkypig · 13/10/2019 21:44

Ye a letter from months ago that he has no idea existed or has never read but has admitted having a completely separate conversation that happens to cover the content of the letter just randomly ended up on the side in the kitchen. that sounds exactly like what happened

I'm sorry user, this must be really horrible for you.

Elodie2019 · 13/10/2019 21:46

Of course he's seen the letter!
What the hell is he playing at!

Lotts123 · 13/10/2019 21:48

I’d make him call her, on loudspeaker when he’s home. Ask her about the letter he’s ‘just found’ and wait to hear her response - if he is willing to do that, and her response should help you figure out what action needs taking.

Gruzinkerbell1 · 13/10/2019 21:49

He’s been loving the attention. She needs to be cut dead and removed from your lives.

sweetiepie1979 · 13/10/2019 21:49

Wow OP you sounded calm and collected but now you sound in denial. He needs to leave for a few days at least in some way he is up to no good. Please don’t take this lying down!

BumbleBeee69 · 13/10/2019 21:50

dear oh dear OP... you're very calm and collected... Kudos. Flowers

pemberlyshades · 13/10/2019 21:52

@donquixotedelamancha ShockGrin

pemberlyshades · 13/10/2019 21:54

@BlackSwan surely you've now
locked yourself in with her then.

expat101 · 13/10/2019 21:54

He shouldn't have met up with her with or without kids for lunches etc unless it was openly discussed with you first, which it appears isn't the case.

However, leaving the letter on the kitchen side where he empties his pockets appears to me that he genuinely isn't hiding an affair either.

From the sounds of it, She sounds like she has built up a massive fantasy of where she sees their friendship and wants more from him.

For the sake of moving forward, he needs to unfriend her asap and learn from this how inappropriate this all appears. He simply cannot maintain any level of friendship with the woman now.

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 13/10/2019 21:56

I like lotts idea, make him call her on speaker to tell her he's 'just found the letter' and can't be friends with her anymore. Also if he's had the letter for ages then he was aware it was more than just friends from her perspective for a while 🤷‍♀️

JasonPollack · 13/10/2019 21:56

He's never seen the letter and it's from months ago? Do you really believe that OP. I wouldn't.

kateandme · 13/10/2019 21:56

Drabarni brilliant

pemberlyshades · 13/10/2019 21:57

@user1471427614 he's seen the letter. He's lying. De Nile is not just a river in Egypt.

TheCakeCrusader · 13/10/2019 22:00

Your husband is full of crap tbh- I’m sure that he knows about this letter and has been enjoying the attention. I’d imagine that he will try to keep stringing you along as it boost his ego.
You need to be be clear, her or you! Give him an ultimatum that if he doesn’t completely step back from this ‘friendship’ immediately ( SM, contact numbers etc), that he is OUT. Don’t be gaslighted by him trying to undermine your concerns. Appalling way for him to behave- his reaction or lack of any urgency of the situation is astounding and speaks volumes about him.

bakesalesally · 13/10/2019 22:02

Fuck. This. Shit.
Talk to your husband.
Compose your message together.
Watch carefully. (I would fully expect DH to block her and cut all contact)

InsertFunnyUsername · 13/10/2019 22:05

How embarrassing of her.

Your Husband is lying, strange to have the letter so long if he reckons it was given a while back and for it to appear on your kitchen side.

CampingItUp · 13/10/2019 22:05

I would tell him that the only reason he would stay in contact with a woman who defriended me, and meet her without telling me is because he is either leading her on for the sake of his ego, or because he intends to have an affair.

The signs were there. Defriending you. She could have ‘needed a friend’ and still kept you on Fb.

He needs to get his ideas straight.

But;
Nobody declares their love like this unless they've been lead on

Really?
So, every woman who complains of a stalker is basically a prick tease?

Pinkyyy · 13/10/2019 22:08

I believe your DH. Everyone else n MN is always too quick to start changing LTB. She sounds crazy and I don't think he's done anything wrong, aside from overstepping some boundaries.

Velveteenfruitbowl · 13/10/2019 22:08

I’m not entirely convinced that he hasn’t just found the letter. If he was aware of it before surely he would have destroyed it immediately. At any rate it is quite irrelevant. He must have been aware of her feelings. Someone would have to be a very good liar to create all that in their head and not let it show. And someone who would go to such lengths to conceal their feelings wouldn’t then confess it all so plainly in writing. One way or another he must have been aware (to some extent at least) of her feelings.

StepAwayFromGoogle · 13/10/2019 22:08

What @Lotts123 said. With bells on.

InsertFunnyUsername · 13/10/2019 22:10

Unless your DH likes to re read the letter as a sort of ego boost or wanted you to find it, chances are it's a new letter that she left on your side for him after leaving the house.

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