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Original poster

Do i let her know that i have found her letter

318 replies

user1471427614 · 13/10/2019 20:22

I need some opinions. To cut a long story short. Husband made friends with a single mum doing the school run. She lived further down the road from us so would sometimes walk the same way, husband told me about this.

Single mum then bumps into husband says shes moving away and whats his name so she can add on facebook. I comment this is strange and add her too. She later defriends me but keeps husband and likes most posts.

Unknown to me they are now chatting and metting up with children for shopping...lunch etc. I find out (they were seen) and words are had about breaking boundaries etc. I say that she has her eye on him, he says its not like that, she just has problems and needs a freind.

I have now found letter from her to husband confessing undying love and that she wants to marry him have children etc. Her letter makes it clear that nothing physical has happened and that he has said he wouldnt leave me but hes obviously making her think she stands a chance. Husband knows i have found this letter and will be dealt with when he gets back from work.

The question now is do I let her know that i know about her letter and what shes up to with my husband?

OP posts:
myolivetree · 14/10/2019 21:05

So he doesn't cut contact and you pop down to the school one day with him to pick up the kids and she's there.

So you're all stood there the three of you. ...... omg OP how does that pan out?

If he continues to meet up with her, (sort of in a pity way? ) does he chat to you about it after?

The cat is out of the bag OP. It has to end. It is so complicated now.

He is literally continuing a relationship, albeit a platonic one, with a women who openly WANTS YOU GONE...?!

Original poster
user1471427614 · 14/10/2019 21:12

Just spoken to husband, hes spoken to single mum. Turns out this letter is new. He had no idea that she truly felt this way, seems he though it was just a little firting and ego boast as has been suggested. He seems surprised that i knew her better than he did and is dissappointed that he now has to loose his friend, im glad that he now sees her for what she is

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 14/10/2019 21:20

He had no idea that she truly felt this way, seems he though it was just a little firting and ego boast as has been suggested.

Obviously you know your husband, but from an outsiders POV, that sounds like bull shit.

Wafflecopter · 14/10/2019 21:22

Right ok, but surely you see the flirting and ego boost (which he’s now admitted he knew it was) is disrespectful and twattish behaviour on his part? What a knobhead he is.

butterybiscuitbasic · 14/10/2019 21:22

Did he speak to her in front of you op or was this a “private conversation”.

ballsdeep · 14/10/2019 21:24

So when did he get this letter then? She surely gave it to him or slipped it into his pocket?

Original poster
user1471427614 · 14/10/2019 21:30

I still know his behaviour is terriable is all is not forgiven. He spoke to her on his own, letter was slipped into pocket the last time they meet last week. He did tell me about this meeting and he knew i wasnt happy, i now believe he understands why

OP posts:
Mikeymoo12 · 14/10/2019 21:31

Is he going to cut all contact OP

stanski · 14/10/2019 21:33

Well if that's correct then now is his turn to do the right thing and cut contact with her.

whattodo2019 · 14/10/2019 21:42

He is a liar!
You are also doubting your instincts, please don't.

NoodleKT · 14/10/2019 21:42

His story about her asking about the letter doesn't at al explain why it had ever come up in conversation about him leaving you or not.

He sounds like a twat to be honest. He was flirting with her, leading her on and all because it made him feel good?

Don't get me wrong, she isn't innocent as she knew he had a wife and kids but it's a bit harsh that you say now he 'sees her for what she is'
You mean she sees him for what he is. He's the one that led her on.

jeffsar4 · 14/10/2019 21:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kateandme · 14/10/2019 21:57

Bullshit.and I feel sad for u op.

kateandme · 14/10/2019 22:02

months ago she did ask he he had read a note and he said he didnt know what she meant, asked for a summary and she said no as if you read it you will understand. It was left there.
Errm his story is changing pretty rapidly.months ago now says recent?

Tooner · 14/10/2019 22:03

I too feel very sad for you OP. You seem to be just accepting any old bullshit he spouts at you. Are you frightened to push it further in case he leaves you?

He has taken you for a fool carrying on with that woman and disrespecting you by continuing with the shananigans. He is a grade A twat and you deserve better.

BumbleBeee69 · 14/10/2019 22:04

Bless his innocent cotton socks, it's all such a shock to him, he never realised.. Halo

The FUCK he didn't.... Hmm

You're being played OP, and I wish you well, because you're going to need it, they are BOTH gaslighting you now, and that's dangerous ground right there... Flowers

stanski · 14/10/2019 22:15

@kateandme has a point. What happened to the previous letter then?

MissPepper8 · 14/10/2019 22:16

Ah.. I've been following and I'd like to believe it. Is he absent minded, do you write him lots of lists for shopping lol? I just don't get how you could empty pockets out and then not think "Oh what's this?" and leave it on the side.

I dunno maybe he has seen it and not known how to process it and not wanted to lose his friendship. I do not think it's deliberately done because what's he gained?

Hope he blocks her op and you atleast goto see what he messaged her, this is no longer something he can deal with privately in my opinion.

myolivetree · 14/10/2019 22:18

"Flirting " and "ego boost" . Did your OH describe it as that? With the words "just" in front. Does he describe her as "just a good friend".

Sorry OP Thanks This smells all wrong.

This friendship needs to end now.

Plus yes I would ring her up OP and be very clear. This relationship is happening outside of your influence and boundaries. Tell her you read her letter and tell her to bog off.

Intheupsidedown · 14/10/2019 22:29

The letter has gone from his pocket to his bag back to his pocket.... it's also months old as well as being a recent letter.

Someone is telling porkies

Ellisandra · 14/10/2019 22:41

Absolute bullshit.
Two letters? Pockets, cake bags... really.

99BehaviourProblems · 14/10/2019 23:03

He’s chatting shit. Sorry OP.

Mummae21 · 14/10/2019 23:07

I can't believe what I'm reading. I feel for you OP, just hope he's not lying...

Gruzinkerbell1 · 14/10/2019 23:10

I can smell the BS from here.

I hope you have your eyes wide open from now on OP.

GabsAlot · 14/10/2019 23:21

How can the letter be months old and then recent?

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