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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To just want the correct payment from "friend"

216 replies

hardyloveit · 12/10/2019 19:53

So a group of friends are going to a show. I organised it and said I don't mind paying for the tickets (so we can be together) as long as payment was in my bank prior to booking.

Anyway there is 6 of us going and I said I'd swallow the booking fee etc so it came to £35 per ticket.

4 have paid and I booked the tickets (6) as the 5th (I'll call her Z) said she had paid.) Didn't have any reason not to doubt (yes i did check online banking and she said it could take up to 2 hours to go in)

Booked tickets and still no money from Z. I message her privately (we have a group Whatsapp) and said it's still not there. She said she will call the bank.

The next day I asked again and she said it didn't go through so she will put £30 in now. I said okay and it's £35!

Still no money by lunchtime. That evening she said she had been super busy and will do it in the am and said £33 and I corrected her agin at £35!

Next day she sends me a photo which was a note to her oh saying
(Oh name)

Please can you put £34.99 in Hardys account and then my bank details.

Still NOTHING! I've now wrote in the group chat if anyone knows of someone else that would like to come let me know ASAP

I know it's only 1p but how many times did I have to correct her in saying it's £35!

Ive swallowed the booking fee etc which was nearly £5 as we are having the tickets posted as some are coming from work.

She has now wrote back in the group that's it's unfair she can't go! Someone else (Y) asked why not and Z had the cheek to say I'd given her the wrong bank details so couldn't pay!

I replied saying no Z that's not true. I've given you a a week from when I said about payments before the ticket and you keep saying you will do it but not with the correct amount. Z has said I'm being unreasonable. The rest of the group haven't commented in the chat since but have privately messaged asking why Z is being a twat!

So aibu to try and find someone else or is Z

OP posts:
strawberry2017 · 14/10/2019 14:57

I'm so glad X bought up the money owed to her. X

hardyloveit · 14/10/2019 15:33

@chrisbarker344 is bank transfer is easier why would she pay cash? Having to go to the atm and then drop it off to me? It's sorted now anyway

OP posts:
DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 14/10/2019 16:30

Well done @hardyloveit. As other pps have said, its nice to see how deftly you handled a CF situation.
If she had agreed and subsequently said that she couldn't afford it - fair enough, but there's literally no excuse in this scenario, The constant lying, changing the story, getting her OH to contact you, accusing you, constantly changing the amount due, then claiming she'd been given the wrong details and then outing herself by admitting she would have paid "eventually" when you'd been so clear about people paying up front.
All she had to do was to type some numbers into a phone, but she would rather go through all that. It's mind boggling and I'd be furious that she put you through all that just to save a few quid and have a free outing. As X said, she gave up asking after a month so its clearly a tried and tested CF technique from Z.
And its also sad that this kind of behaviour sucks the fun out of arranging events with friends.

insanepizza · 14/10/2019 16:46

Very satisfying that X also said something. I hope she is very embarrassed.

Ginfordinner · 14/10/2019 16:58

and would you really bother to pay £35 into the bank. Just keep it in your purse. You'll need it for something

I must admit I did wonder as well. I always need cash for something.

j3mz · 14/10/2019 19:36

Z thought she had the art of poncing down to a t until she met you that is. I cant believe how she is still trying to string you along ! Glad she was called out on it ! And good on x (Is it the one still owed) I doubt she will get it back but at least a knows she won't be getting away with that bs with you lot any longer.

Reallyevilmuffin · 15/10/2019 13:55

Aww I was hoping for more popcorn moments after X piped up... :(

hardyloveit · 17/10/2019 13:56

@Reallyevilmuffin sorry to disappoint with no updates! Super busy week! Z hasn't spoken in the group since - although the rest have. Z hasn't paid back X yet. I've not spoken to her since this all happened. I know V has but Z has been complaining about me and X and said we are ganging up on her (ha okay!) I just can't deal with drama queens in my life! I left school 20 odd years ago blurgh!

OP posts:
Paisley19 · 17/10/2019 17:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Straycats · 18/10/2019 16:13

Watched this from beginning hardyloveit, you’ve dealt with it superbly. A satisfying end result.;-)

strongteawith2sugars · 05/03/2020 23:41

@hardyloveit did she pay the £60 back?

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 06/03/2020 00:40

Yay! A most satisfying outcome. Even if Z were in the lunch club, she wouldn't want her chips now anyway as, thanks to you and X, there would be a very strong and off-putting ammonia smell....

It's funny in scenarios like this how the exact same amount of money can be both far too little for you to worry about being stolen from you losing but simultaneously far too much to expect them to be able to pay.

Notice too how it's usually a concert or something similar rather than a tangible object that you could force them to hand back. If it's not a priority for her to pay you before the concert, when there's still something she wants that she could potentially lose, you can be certain it won't magically rise to the top of her 'must-do ASAP' list once the concert has been and gone.

If you did want to show her a little goodwill (and you have her bank details), you could always send her a very small nominal amount to compensate her for her distress at your 'meanness':

Transfer 1 for 1p - payment ref. "Really looking fwd"
Transfer 2 for 1p - payment ref. "To a great concert"
Transfer 3 for 1p - payment ref. "Not you, though"
Transfer 4 for 1p - payment ref. "Take a hike, chancer!!!"
Transfer 5 for 1p - payment ref. "You owe me 5p now!"

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 06/03/2020 00:43

I just noticed that this started months ago. How could I have missed it?!?!

sunshineandlollypops · 06/03/2020 03:13

Did I miss something? Did X get her money back?

TreeTopTim · 06/03/2020 06:56

I missed it when it was first posted but now I really want to know if x got her money.

Rainbowx · 06/03/2020 08:11

Oh I missed this originally did they pay you OP???.

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