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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To just want the correct payment from "friend"

216 replies

hardyloveit · 12/10/2019 19:53

So a group of friends are going to a show. I organised it and said I don't mind paying for the tickets (so we can be together) as long as payment was in my bank prior to booking.

Anyway there is 6 of us going and I said I'd swallow the booking fee etc so it came to £35 per ticket.

4 have paid and I booked the tickets (6) as the 5th (I'll call her Z) said she had paid.) Didn't have any reason not to doubt (yes i did check online banking and she said it could take up to 2 hours to go in)

Booked tickets and still no money from Z. I message her privately (we have a group Whatsapp) and said it's still not there. She said she will call the bank.

The next day I asked again and she said it didn't go through so she will put £30 in now. I said okay and it's £35!

Still no money by lunchtime. That evening she said she had been super busy and will do it in the am and said £33 and I corrected her agin at £35!

Next day she sends me a photo which was a note to her oh saying
(Oh name)

Please can you put £34.99 in Hardys account and then my bank details.

Still NOTHING! I've now wrote in the group chat if anyone knows of someone else that would like to come let me know ASAP

I know it's only 1p but how many times did I have to correct her in saying it's £35!

Ive swallowed the booking fee etc which was nearly £5 as we are having the tickets posted as some are coming from work.

She has now wrote back in the group that's it's unfair she can't go! Someone else (Y) asked why not and Z had the cheek to say I'd given her the wrong bank details so couldn't pay!

I replied saying no Z that's not true. I've given you a a week from when I said about payments before the ticket and you keep saying you will do it but not with the correct amount. Z has said I'm being unreasonable. The rest of the group haven't commented in the chat since but have privately messaged asking why Z is being a twat!

So aibu to try and find someone else or is Z

OP posts:
hardyloveit · 12/10/2019 22:53

I've just had a text from Z oh!! Saying along the lines of "its his fault it hasn't been paid as he saw the note but forgot to take it to work so didn't have the details on him"
I've replied saying but Z has had a week to pay and keeps doing the wrong amount when saying she will pay! I'm not sure why your getting involved (oh name) Z is a big girl and there's a lesson for her to learn here!

Let's see if he replies haha

OP posts:
ContessaLovesTheSunshine · 12/10/2019 22:56

Oh my goodness Grin are you sure she's a big girl? Getting her OH to call in with a excuse hardly screams maturity.... she'll be livid that you've pointed this out!

Miniwinnie · 12/10/2019 22:56

She knows exactly what she’s doing and they are everywhere.

I got a random text from an ex colleague asking if I could pick her up a birthday cake from Costco for her friends ds . I agreed and she said she would come to my work and pick it up and pay me then. Well she picked up the cake and just casually said “oh I’ve left my purse in work I’ll just transfer it to you”. I was so taken a back that I just said okay no problem then realised she didn’t have my bank details after she drove off. She was always a bit skint but so was I. I haven’t heard from her since bloody cf. Anyway I hope the little boy enjoyed his cake gifted from a complete stranger lol.

awesomeaircraft · 12/10/2019 23:23

Can you sell the ticket back?

altiara · 12/10/2019 23:39

I would’ve dropped into the message to Z’s OH about the £60 also owed to X.

snowball28 · 12/10/2019 23:47

We used to do a big Christmas meal with all our friends, obviously for these things you need to pop a deposit per head down. There’s 20ish of us so each year we’d pay £100/200ish depending on deposit size and the consensus was people would bring cash and pay us back on the night worked fine the first two years then people started to ‘forget’ and never bothered to rectify even with repeated reminders. Last year out of £200ish we got £30 back!

Things like this only work on good faith and when ‘friends’ take the piss it’s really shit and makes you feel like crap. She’s a massive CF you do right to take someone else!

Potnoodledoo · 13/10/2019 00:00

@Miniwinnie why didnt you just text her your bank details

cstaff · 13/10/2019 00:12

Sell the ticket, bring your sister, whatever and for any future arrangements make sure she pays up front. Hopefully after you calling her out on this she won't try pull a fast one like this again, that's if you ever want to include her. Not sure I would tbh.

After this she should be pulled up on the money she owes your other friend. Tbh no harm in the whole group learning that this is not her first time trying to pull a fast one.

katewhinesalot · 13/10/2019 00:36

I'd also remind her oh about the money owed to X.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 13/10/2019 00:50

I really think as a group you should have X’s back. Don’t let her be basically taken advantage of by Z.

hardyloveit · 13/10/2019 01:57

I do have Xs back, she knows I'd say something if she wanted me to. I'm not breaking my friends trust. Atm she really doesn't want any of the other girls to know or me to tell Z I know. I've spoken to her about it and explained how unfair it is that she owes her money etc hopefully she will decide to ask for it again or tell the others

OP posts:
Miniwinnie · 13/10/2019 03:36

@Potnoodledoo I text her a few times after but no answer.

BloggersBlog · 13/10/2019 03:54

Can X not use this as a chance to say something on the WhatsApp group to her about the £60? "Hey Z can you put my £60 in while you're paying your debts 😄?" Or similar? Get the point across in a semi jokey way whilst letting the others know too. Outs her CF behaviour

Honeyroar · 13/10/2019 07:50

X really should be telling the other girls. Z is taking the piss out of you all, you need to stick together and stand up to her. Z will probably flounce off and leave the group, but she’s not much of a friend anyway if she happily cheats you all.

Karwomannghia · 13/10/2019 08:00

Yes now is the time for X to say ooh yes you never actually gave me that £60!

Sweetpea55 · 13/10/2019 08:01

Don't include her in any more events were money is concerned. Or pay deposits for everyone else but her. What a cheeky cow she is.

BeanBag7 · 13/10/2019 08:26

@Miniwinnie I got a random text from an ex colleague asking if I could pick her up a birthday cake from Costco for her friends ds
Why on earth did you agree? Even if she did pay you back straight away she's causing you time and inconvenience for a child you've never met!

Miniwinnie · 13/10/2019 13:19

@BeanBag7 I know this is what I ask myself now. This was a while ago when I was much younger. The thing is back then I didn’t have a car and had to get the bus to go for it. If she were to ask me now then I wouldn’t have any problem politely telling her where to go.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 13/10/2019 15:31

And if the CF Z does put in £35 (which is unlikely) then pass the money on to X and tell Z that you've done so so now she only owes X £25.

Excellent suggestion!

hardyloveit · 13/10/2019 16:41

So the ticket has now been bought by my sister! I let the group know the new arrangements. Z kicked off saying again it's unfair and now she's going to miss out. I said she's more than welcome to book a ticket herself?
I also said how u fair it was to expect me to pay for her and never get the money back. She said she would never do that and would have paid eventually.
X Then actually piped up! She called Z a liar and how she still owes her £60 from her hen do! A few of the group members were shocked. I phoned x and asked if she was okay. She said she feels better and couldn't put up with it anymore and snapped! Well done!!

Z didn't reply at all! However she has read the messages .... urgh I feel like I'm at school

OP posts:
PrayingandHoping · 13/10/2019 16:44

Always satisfying when people like her are finally called out on their behaviour!

She's a spoilt princess who clearly thought she'd get away with it!

Well done you and X. Let's hope she's learnt her lesson properly for the future!

redcarbluecar · 13/10/2019 16:50

Some people are truly weird. Did she actually think that just maybe she’d get away without paying this?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 13/10/2019 16:55

Good for you and X.

BumbleBeee69 · 13/10/2019 16:55

oh my Grin

SauvignonBlanche · 13/10/2019 16:56

Well done X Grin

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