To just want the correct payment from "friend"

[hardyloveit]

So a group of friends are going to a show. I organised it and said I don't mind paying for the tickets (so we can be together) as long as payment was in my bank prior to booking.

Anyway there is 6 of us going and I said I'd swallow the booking fee etc so it came to £35 per ticket.

4 have paid and I booked the tickets (6) as the 5th (I'll call her Z) said she had paid.) Didn't have any reason not to doubt (yes i did check online banking and she said it could take up to 2 hours to go in)

Booked tickets and still no money from Z. I message her privately (we have a group Whatsapp) and said it's still not there. She said she will call the bank.

The next day I asked again and she said it didn't go through so she will put £30 in now. I said okay and it's £35!

Still no money by lunchtime. That evening she said she had been super busy and will do it in the am and said £33 and I corrected her agin at £35!

Next day she sends me a photo which was a note to her oh saying
(Oh name)

Please can you put £34.99 in Hardys account and then my bank details.

Still NOTHING! I've now wrote in the group chat if anyone knows of someone else that would like to come let me know ASAP

I know it's only 1p but how many times did I have to correct her in saying it's £35!

Ive swallowed the booking fee etc which was nearly £5 as we are having the tickets posted as some are coming from work.

She has now wrote back in the group that's it's unfair she can't go! Someone else (Y) asked why not and Z had the cheek to say I'd given her the wrong bank details so couldn't pay!

I replied saying no Z that's not true. I've given you a a week from when I said about payments before the ticket and you keep saying you will do it but not with the correct amount. Z has said I'm being unreasonable. The rest of the group haven't commented in the chat since but have privately messaged asking why Z is being a twat!

So aibu to try and find someone else or is Z

I'd update the group chat with, "Hi everyone, Z won't be coming as she hasn't paid me (she was given the same bank details as the rest of you and I'm afraid I can't afford to sub anyone.) Someone else will be coming instead."

@tobedtoMNandfart it's been going on nearly a week now! We go in November

Update! X just text me saying she knew Z would do this as Z still owes money to her for her hen do! (X is very shy and not confrontational at all! Whereas I'm very outgoing and confident and speak my mind!) he seems why I asked if I was bu.
I said to X why on earth haven't you said anything and she said she tried for about a month then gave up!

Feel like writing In the group, if you pay me the £35 for the ticket you will not be going as you owe X £60! And il transfer that money to X.

I won't as X doesn't want to cause an argument!

Z is the drama llama of our group and has seen X as a push over! I can get someone else to come along to the show so I'm not out of pocket but poor X wtf is going on!

I can't delete her from the group. We are all very very close and sort of paired off in a way. V and Z X and W and me and Y. V would then leave the group as she would feel awkward and that's not fair!

Don't swallow the booking fees next time, if there is one. It's perfectly fair to split that among the people going. You've done them a favour in actually making the booking.

@Butterymuffin it would have made it annoying doing £35.80 whenever we book a group thing whoever books always swallows the fee. We have all done it over the years

Sell the ticket to your sister.

And if the CF Z does put in £35 (which is unlikely) then pass the money on to X and tell Z that you've done so so now she only owes X £25.

Rachelover60 who died and made you the post police?

Get V to have a word with Z, then.

If you all do it that's ok - but it's no more annoying to me to type 35.80 when I do a bank transfer than it is to type 35.00, so I don't really get that argument. Presumably Z doesn't usually do the bookings and pay out in advance for everyone else...

Sigh... this CF needs called out in the group chat by X and you OP, she's not giving 2 shits about kicking up a fuss blaming you or putting either of you in an awkward position re: money so don't feel bad about stating the facts. She is relying on you and X's embarrassment to get away with this. Real friends don't screw each other over and leave them out of pocket with no explanation - and they certainly don't try to blame them for their own behaviour!! You're 100% doing the right thing inviting your sis or anyone else, if she misses out it's her own damn fault so good for you!

Why on earth would she deduct a penny? What kind of point does that make except “I’m completely ungrateful”?

To be honest, at this point I would just say that you couldn't wait any longer, and as X has offered (and paid) the ticket has gone to them.
You now know they have form for this type of behaviour, so don't reward it. Shut it down now, save yourself the headache.

Hope you enjoy the show :-)

Sod her, bring your sister, and refund any payment she makes. But take your time, bank details are so often incorrect...

@Rachelover60 what? Why can't I start the thread with the word so? What an odd thing to say

I agree with a PP - if she makes a payment after you have sold the ticket to someone else, give X what she is owed and only refund the rest. It's appaling behaviour to take advantage of a group of friends like this and she doesn't deserve any more chances

I have called her out? She's just full of drama!
I can't say in the group about X as she doesn't want to cause a scene. She knows I would in a heartbeat if she wanted me to and in a way that looks like X hadn't asked me to either.

V doesn't want to get involved. She said to me privately to just let Z get on with it and if she doesn't pay then she will not come and maybe think about that in future.

All V W X and Y know what Z has done.

Tbh I wouldn't mind dropping Z from the group. She's the "newest" as such as myself W X and Y have known each other going on 15 years then V came along few years later and met Z through a friend and she starting to become close to the rest of us about 4 years ago.

Good on you OP, too often on here you read of people being treated badly and not standing up for themselves, how will the CFs ever learn if no one teaches them a lesson?

I wouldn't care if the event was next year. She's had plenty of time to sort the payment and hasn't bothered, choosing instead to blame you for giving incorrect details which is a lie. Ask your sister if she definitely wants to go and if she pays you then that's that - Z can sod off! If X wants to be a wet lettuce and be done out of £60 then that's her problem. Maybe she'll grow a pair when she sees that you have stood up to Z and not let her away with her CF antics.

You've done the right thing OP, kudos to you. Haha I'm loving the lunch club chat, that thread is amazing! As is this one!

Could you say something like "I know this is not the first time you have done something like this" That should not cause any problems for the shy one in your group. That way she will know that everyone will be watching her for financial situations like this

I think the others need to know that Z hasn’t paid for X’s hen do either. They won’t want to pay in advance for her in future. Rather than botching that you didn’t give her the right bank details when you did (and I reckon that’s a fake note, or why didn’t her dh pay?!) she could just, you know, PAY?!

@SmellbowSmellbow123 haha my first thoughts reading this 😂

In regards to Z, she is better not coming and would be best if she was out of your future group outings. Nobody has time for her negativity in their lives...the 1p would have infuriated me than underpaying by £5. THE CHEEK!!

If someone is kind enough to do admin on your behalf you either pay them in advance or immediately afterwards and are appreciative. Anything else marks you out as a mannerless fool who does not deserve friends.

I’d have made it £36 if you want a round number and the extra 20 whole pence can be for your admin time

Hope you get it sorted