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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To just want the correct payment from "friend"

216 replies

hardyloveit · 12/10/2019 19:53

So a group of friends are going to a show. I organised it and said I don't mind paying for the tickets (so we can be together) as long as payment was in my bank prior to booking.

Anyway there is 6 of us going and I said I'd swallow the booking fee etc so it came to £35 per ticket.

4 have paid and I booked the tickets (6) as the 5th (I'll call her Z) said she had paid.) Didn't have any reason not to doubt (yes i did check online banking and she said it could take up to 2 hours to go in)

Booked tickets and still no money from Z. I message her privately (we have a group Whatsapp) and said it's still not there. She said she will call the bank.

The next day I asked again and she said it didn't go through so she will put £30 in now. I said okay and it's £35!

Still no money by lunchtime. That evening she said she had been super busy and will do it in the am and said £33 and I corrected her agin at £35!

Next day she sends me a photo which was a note to her oh saying
(Oh name)

Please can you put £34.99 in Hardys account and then my bank details.

Still NOTHING! I've now wrote in the group chat if anyone knows of someone else that would like to come let me know ASAP

I know it's only 1p but how many times did I have to correct her in saying it's £35!

Ive swallowed the booking fee etc which was nearly £5 as we are having the tickets posted as some are coming from work.

She has now wrote back in the group that's it's unfair she can't go! Someone else (Y) asked why not and Z had the cheek to say I'd given her the wrong bank details so couldn't pay!

I replied saying no Z that's not true. I've given you a a week from when I said about payments before the ticket and you keep saying you will do it but not with the correct amount. Z has said I'm being unreasonable. The rest of the group haven't commented in the chat since but have privately messaged asking why Z is being a twat!

So aibu to try and find someone else or is Z

OP posts:
nuxe1984 · 13/10/2019 18:13

I wouldn't let her come now out of principle. If you gave the same bank details to everyone then it would be her error (if there was one) and not yours - you could point out that everyone else has managed to pay using the same bank details she was given.

The only way she'll learn a lesson from this (if she does - some people never do and their behaviour never changes) is if her actions have direct consequences that impact on her.

You're not being unfair. She's being unreasonable. I would say to her that maybe next time she'll make sure she pays upfront like everyone else instead of lying about sending you the money.

PuzzledObserver · 13/10/2019 18:16

The only thing you did wrong was swallow the booking fee. You should have added it on to the cost of the tickets.

Hally2020 · 13/10/2019 18:20

SmellbowSmellbow123

Z isn’t part of a lunch club is she?!

I'm crying with laughter at that!

kateandme · 13/10/2019 18:22

wow thanks for the update op.

Jack80 · 13/10/2019 18:23

You snooze you loose, she should have paid and not messed you around

Karwomannghia · 13/10/2019 18:30

Please someone link to the lunch club thread! 😂

manicmij · 13/10/2019 18:34

Lesson is; get the money from everyone involved when booking before ordering the tickets. You sucked up the booking fee which if individuals had booked a ticket would each have to pay. The person is a twat, hoping you would forget if she hadnt paid.YANBU

username578999 · 13/10/2019 18:37

Brilliant result , well done . Hopefully the lady from lunch club thread will read this and see how you deal with cf's

billy1966 · 13/10/2019 18:39

Well done OP.

It is so easy to transfer money, it really is easier to ask for money in advance, including the fee and then book the tickets.

CF won't get an opportunity then.

Surely after X's input she has been truly shown for who she is.

HugTrees · 13/10/2019 18:41

Wel done for saying your piece and letting X stand up for herself too!

Loreleigh · 13/10/2019 18:42

Your 'friend' has got some damn cheek - if somebody books something, buys something or loans something in good faith it should be paid back at the correct amount (and in some circumstances a little thank-you added). 'Z' was obviously trying to avoid paying and maybe hoping you would just swallow it and she'd get a free trip! Stand your ground as someone like that will always rip the piss if they get away with it the first time - guess some people have no shame and very little conscience - you could do without those type of friends. Enjoy your show :)

CoffeeWithMyOxygen · 13/10/2019 18:46

For people asking for the lunch club thread; www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3714806-AIBU-over-non-paying-colleague-Lunch-dramas?msgid=90787402

user1498572889 · 13/10/2019 18:47

@SmellbowSmellbow123

😂😂 lunch club. How did that end?

crosspelican · 13/10/2019 18:47

Oh good for X! You seem to be on top of this with stuff like this, but it was sad that poor X was suffering in silence about £60 all this time. I'm glad she got a boost from you.

Matilda190 · 13/10/2019 18:48

She clearly has a problem and is embarrassed, so reacting angry. I think she can’t afford it, so, no problem , sell the ticket to someone else. End of?

areyoubeingserviced · 13/10/2019 18:51

She’s one of those people who want things for free
I have a ‘friend’ like that. If the price of something was £20 she would give me £17.
It was almost as though she resented paying for anything
Your friend was making a point with the £34:99. She is a CF

TellMeWhoTheVilliansAre · 13/10/2019 18:53

She clearly has a problem and is embarrassed, so reacting angry. I think she can’t afford it, so, no problem , sell the ticket to someone else. End of?

That's exactly what OP is doing/has done. And Z is complaining that it's not fair that she was definitely going to pay.

Then OP's other friend piped up and said "I doubt it because you still owe me 60 that you're ignoring"!

TellMeWhoTheVilliansAre · 13/10/2019 18:54

If you can't afford things, don't agree to go to them. The concert is optional. Z wasn't being forced to go.

FizzyGreenWater · 13/10/2019 18:56

HURRAH for X!!!!

Take that Z woman.

SCRUM at the alphabet's end.

BRING IT ON

TheresWaldo · 13/10/2019 19:12

I was in a similar group and someone eventually piped up that X hadn't paid for something that was causing her real issues. It turned out that X owed money to most of the group for one thing or another, and when finally called on this, she blocked everyone! Good on you for standing your ground.

Justkeeprollingalong · 13/10/2019 19:14

@SmellbowSmellbow123 Z is definitely B!

Tinkerbelle57 · 13/10/2019 19:20

Couldn’t she have given you £35 cash if messing about with bank details was an issue ?
Nobody can expect you to book something and not pay for the ticket CF !!

RedDogsBeg · 13/10/2019 19:21

She said she would never do that and would have paid eventually.

The operative word here being eventually,why do these entitled twats think that other people are a private, interest free, lending stream for them? Do they do the same thing in shops, restaurants, bars?? Of course they don't, they just think they have a right to 'friends' money.

Ridiclious · 13/10/2019 19:25

Go you OP! And go X! Proper CF Z is Grin

MrMeSeeks · 13/10/2019 19:28

Good on you!!! Well done your friend, she’s a cf.Hmm she’s been called out on it and doesn’t like it, tough luck!

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