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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wish that DP was better endowed?

294 replies

IHeartPinkGin · 11/10/2019 22:20

NC for this.

So as not to drip feed, DP and I have been together for almost 2 years now. He was a virgin when we met, so little in the way of experience, I have only had one sexual partner prior to him. I feel like the sex has dried up due to the fact that we can only ever do it in two positions due to his size. I never orgasm with penetration with him (whilst I could of easily with my previous bf.) DP is wonderful and attentive in bed, lots of foreplay etc and always makes sure I come, but I'll admit I'm finding the size of his member very frustrating now and I had better orgasms with my ex. AIBU to feel frustrated?? Anyone have any wise words of advise? He really is an amazing man otherwise and I love and value our relationship.

OP posts:
timshelthechoice · 14/10/2019 18:56

Through sickness and health doesn't seem to mean much any more.

Well if he's just a partner then you haven't actually committed yourself with those vows were are said during religious marriage ceremonies (you don't need to say that vow in a civil, legal ceremony, either). She's only been with him 2 years, hardly a lifetime and they're not married. Assuming your lifelong committed to everyone you date is very unhealthy.

timshelthechoice · 14/10/2019 18:57

Having a small cock isn't a sickness, either, or something that is the result of ill fortune, it just is.

BlokeNumber9 · 14/10/2019 19:48

Ladies here is another perspective.
I'm small as well. I am also (and these are not my words) perfect for anal sex.

Oblomov19 · 14/10/2019 19:53

Only on Mn does everyone earn £100k+ and their husband have a huge dick!
Isn't 5 inches average?

I once slept with someone big and he was arrogant.

Lex234 · 14/10/2019 19:56

I once slept with someone big and he was arrogant

Oh I hate it when they're all cocky

timshelthechoice · 14/10/2019 20:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

timshelthechoice · 14/10/2019 20:20

I once slept with someone big and he was fantastic in the sack.

CharlottesPleb · 14/10/2019 20:28

*It wouldn't be nice for him to say. But surely him being honest is better all around.

I'm just sick of this, not sure what the word is, that women have to put up with shit sex. We don't. But neither do men.*

I think if it's a long term relationship and you have a family it is not best to be so brutally honest and not a requirement to have good sex just from what nature gave you.

Most of what nature gives us disappears over time and if you want a sex life you might have to put some imagination into it once in a while, that's life.

Totally agree for a new relationship, but for a committed lifetime one not so much.

Rachelover60 · 15/10/2019 12:36

Oblomov19
Only on Mn does everyone earn £100k+ and their husband have a huge dick!
Isn't 5 inches average?

I once slept with someone big and he was arrogant.
.........
Your post really made me laugh, Oblomov.

5" is average and quite adequate.

I too had a couple of men 'friends' in my youth who were huge and they were useless! They didn't think they were useless though (typical).

Size isn't everything but personally, I wouldn't go for someone who had a very small penis. Average, even slightly below average, would be fine as long as he knew his stuff.

Branleuse · 15/10/2019 13:36

The people ive slept with that have been well endowed have generally been pretty good in bed and a lot of fun, so im not sure why it always crops up that big men are arrogant in bed. I dont thnk its size specific as to how enthusiastic or sensual someone is.

Original poster
IHeartPinkGin · 15/10/2019 15:52

Thank you everyone for the different perspectives and advise. I'm not going to bother addressing comments advising me to leave him, as I've said before that this isn't something I would do.

And to all of those people hand-wringing about what a cow I must be for talking about my partner and his size online - this is an ANONYMOUS FORUM with thousands of users. There is no harm in asking for other people's experiences and advise.

OP posts:
oabiti · 15/10/2019 15:57

And to all of those people hand-wringing about what a cow I must be for talking about my partner and his size online - this is an ANONYMOUS FORUM with thousands of users. There is no harm in asking for other people's experiences and advise.

Exactly, OP, you have every right to talk about any aspect of your relationship that you are not entirely satisfied with.

SuperSara · 15/10/2019 16:33

I couldn't be with a 'small' man. I can't get any satisfaction from little todgers. I'm sure others will say it's perfectly possible to have satisfying sex with tiny cocks but it's just not for me.

On the other hand, DH is 7.5+ length but also, more significantly, very close to 7.5" girth, too.

It can be truly eye watering if he's not careful and if I'm not very, erm...ready. Blush

OP, I think you have every right to know what does and doesn't do it for you, and to act on it.

Kittykat93 · 15/10/2019 17:30

Hold on - 7.5 inches GIRTH ?? So his cock is as wide as it is tall??

TheWorldAsh · 15/10/2019 17:32

7.5" is in the 100th percentile.

LuckyAmy1986 · 15/10/2019 17:39

Who the fuck measures their penis?! And the girth? Apart from teenage boys maybe.

RubbingHimSourly · 15/10/2019 17:46

SuperSara so he's set out like this ?? How on earth do you keep a straight face ?? Wink

SimonJT · 15/10/2019 17:50

@Kittykat93 If you take a bit of string and wrap it once around the girth, the lay the string out and measure it that gives girth. Google informs me that the average girth is around 4.8 inches.

I think you may have mixed up width and circumference.

gamerchick · 15/10/2019 17:51

I dunno, if I encountered a girth that thick I'd be measuring it as well, just out of curiosity Grin

CravingCheese · 15/10/2019 18:55

@gamerchick

Same. But girth is much more important anyway imo...
nothing worse than a long and thin one imo.
Thin = won't really do anything nice (for me, at least... And I dread to think how that may be after giving birth. And seeing as I am pregnant... Well, anyway.)
Too Long = ouch. So much fucking ouch.

But I feel like I'd also be well served by fingers and a tongue. I like penis in vagina intercourse and do find it rather arousing/nice. But I've also had really great sex without it... If not the best sex, tbh.... 🤷🏻‍♀️

Woodlandwitch · 15/10/2019 18:57

My ex was far smaller than my well endowed DH but it didn’t stop us having decent PIV.

That said, I wouldn’t nessecary LG want to go back to a much smaller one now after experiencing bigger as the orgasms are definitely different but I certainly wasn’t longing for more before

Branster · 15/10/2019 22:36

How do so many people know the exact measurements of the penises they interact with? Do you take partner’s word for it? Do you take actual measurements or do you have a well versed eye?
I have all sorts of comical situations in my head since reading this thread.

Divebar · 16/10/2019 05:23

Oh I think guys often have measured.... I’m sure they have. ( especially if they’re on the larger side). There’s also this unwritten rule that the measurement is in inches for some reason. If a guy ever told me how big he was in Cm I’d be completely flummoxed despite having no problems getting to grips with the metric system normally Wink

Lex234 · 16/10/2019 06:00

There’s also this unwritten rule that the measurement is in inches

Yes, how odd is that-you would think the ones that can be bothered measuring would go for the higher metric number

fantasmasgoria1 · 16/10/2019 06:13

If my fiance wasn't very well endowed I would just talk to him and discuss ways at how we can make things better. My 1st husband =well endowed but crap at sex, couldn't please me, 2nd quite small, good with his hands but piv wasn't particularly good, my fiance now is well endowed and good in bed, piv is excellent if not a little painful at times. I had a few short flings but I can't remember enough about the sex to comment!