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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wish that DP was better endowed?

294 replies

IHeartPinkGin · 11/10/2019 22:20

NC for this.

So as not to drip feed, DP and I have been together for almost 2 years now. He was a virgin when we met, so little in the way of experience, I have only had one sexual partner prior to him. I feel like the sex has dried up due to the fact that we can only ever do it in two positions due to his size. I never orgasm with penetration with him (whilst I could of easily with my previous bf.) DP is wonderful and attentive in bed, lots of foreplay etc and always makes sure I come, but I'll admit I'm finding the size of his member very frustrating now and I had better orgasms with my ex. AIBU to feel frustrated?? Anyone have any wise words of advise? He really is an amazing man otherwise and I love and value our relationship.

OP posts:
TequilaPilates · 14/10/2019 07:49

So, isn't he entitled to privacy around his sex life and his body then?

And what can she do? I don't know. Guess she needs to consider of this is a deal breaker. She listed a whole load of reasons why he's a great partner, including always ensuring that she has an orgasm and is very attentive in bed. So I suppose she has to decide if having amazing penetrative sex is what makes or breaks the relationship.

She could dump.him and get a man with a huge penis who cares only about his own enjoyment. Or a great lover who snores like a freight train or has any number of other habits that necessitate compromise.

Relationships are about compromise ultimately. You're unlikely to find someone who ticks every one of your boxes and you them are you?

Hannahmates · 14/10/2019 08:37

Plenty of blokes bail when they see a woman's sagging boobs. Don't see how this situation is any different. You can't fight lack of attraction/sexual satisfaction.

TequilaPilates · 14/10/2019 08:43

In which case op should move on then surely? He can't do anything about the size of his penis yet she says he's amazing in every other respect.

If she's not attracted to him anymore then she should end the relationship.

GoodGriefSunshine · 14/10/2019 09:25

I guess a lot of people on here would leave their partner if they developed or suffered some catastrophic accident that affected their ability to perform. Wow. Through sickness and health doesn't seem to mean much any more.

GoodGriefSunshine · 14/10/2019 09:28

I guess a lot of people on here would leave their partner if they developed or suffered some catastrophic accident that affected their ability to perform. Wow. Through sickness and health doesn't seem to mean much any more.

GoodGriefSunshine · 14/10/2019 09:29

NCDreamer DH isn't small. He's 6.5" but after kids, stitches etc he still slips out.

I couldn't be doing with 4"
So YOU have a compromised vag after dc so you dismiss men with smaller members. How about them dismissing you for having a flappy fanny? Do you honestly not see the irony?

December2019 · 14/10/2019 09:48

Some of these posts have absolutely made my shit morning more bearable 😂😂

December2019 · 14/10/2019 09:59

And to be fair! I have one tit bigger than the other!
If my DP started a thread about it I would be so hurt.... after 2 kids my body isn't what it used to be that's for sure
If your not happy with your sex life OP id just end the relationship, there's no way I could tell somebody their bits are shit that's just cruel... better to end things and move on! Let's just hope the next one is as kind and loving as the last

RogueV · 14/10/2019 10:04

You need this

www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=32919

Sweetpeach3 · 14/10/2019 10:15

Tbh I don't even know what an orgasm is....
had 2 kids. Pregnant with number 3 an no idea. Ex had a good size downstairs just didn't know how to use it as much as he thought he was a god in the bedroom.....
just be glad he wants to pleasure you not just himself x

Whattodoabout · 14/10/2019 10:20

I had this once with a guy and he was already well aware of it so brought it up with me before we even DTD. I felt so sad for him, it’s not like he could help it. Actually, the sex was pretty great and I didn’t even notice. He was about 5 inches rather than 4 though.

If it’s a dealbreaker for you, there’s not much that can be done but obviously don’t tell him it’s for that reason!

oabiti · 14/10/2019 10:39

Will you all stop the faux hand-wringing, it's making me nauseous.

Those of you who are quick to attack the OP for her coming on a forum for advice, fall into two categories:
A) your DP/ husband/wife hits the spot.
B) Your sex life isn't great/ it's shit but, on balance, you will stay with him/her and keep quiet.

Well good for you! You'll surely be rewarded in the afterlife. Meanwhile, on planet earth... some of us have an unsatisfactory sex life, enough for us to post on an internet forum.

TheWorldAsh · 14/10/2019 11:58

@Whattodoabout 5 inches is average, so hardly small.

Branleuse · 14/10/2019 12:43

unfortunately its probably not that uncommon for men to go elsewhere if the size of her vagina and the size of his penis arent compatible or for a whole host of other physical complaints.

You cant really stay with a man for charity or because you dont want him to feel bad. If you really like sex and are finding sex unfulfillng with this guy, then what are you supposed to do? Give up sex? Fake it? Its not his fault and its not her fault. Its just how it is. He will likely make someone else very happy. Not everyone is a size queen, but we like what we like.

oabiti · 14/10/2019 14:24

unfortunately its probably not that uncommon for men to go elsewhere if the size of her vagina and the size of his penis arent compatible or for a whole host of other physical complaints.

This.

DarlingBuds19 · 14/10/2019 14:43

And if you think his cock is too small, try it up your arse and see how small it feels then.

That's an out hole for shit, it's not supposed to have a cock up there. How big or small it feels is irrelevant.

OldAndWornOut · 14/10/2019 16:42

I would say its very relevant.

CravingCheese · 14/10/2019 17:31

Is it a deal breaker or not?

I feel like that would be a bit disingenuous (not like you didn't have a test ride....) but that's still up to you.

You could wear a but plug. Even a very small one makes a fairly makpr difference imo when it comes to vagina penetration. Makes everything down there feel very full.

CravingCheese · 14/10/2019 17:33

I feel like that would be a bit disingenuous (not like you didn't have a test ride....) but that's still up to you.

Sorry, I somehow assumed you were married. It's ultimately up to you imo.

I would hwover look into trying it whilst wearing a small (or big, if that's your thing) butt plug.

BirdyTweet · 14/10/2019 17:35

How old are you 🙄
Pretty much everything in a relationship is more important than this. Biscuit

cultkid · 14/10/2019 17:36

I don't understand how women like big willies I have always found all of them too big even with tonnes of fore play
Can you do some kegals to make your vaj more snug?

Janaih · 14/10/2019 17:40

I once had sex with a guy with a micro penis. It soon became clear that every woman he'd slept with must have faked it massively so as not to hurt his feelings. because he had an ego the size of a house. twat.

timshelthechoice · 14/10/2019 17:42

Pretty much everything in a relationship is more important than this. biscuit

I'm 50 and would find this a dealbreaker myself. Being sexually incompatible is quite important to people who like sex.

GADA9215 · 14/10/2019 18:30

My partner is generously sized and I have never Been able to achieve an orgasm through penetrative sex alone so maybe the size isn’t the issue?

DarlingBuds19 · 14/10/2019 18:48

I would say its very relevant.

Where is the eye roll emoji.

If you have to stick a cock in places nature didn't intend it (and op hasnt said she's interested in anything other than normal intercourse) in order for it to feel big, you're onto a loser. Where next, her nostril?