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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU over non-paying colleague? Lunch dramas

1000 replies

Amelia2000 · 11/10/2019 12:06

I work in an open plan office. Every Friday we order lunch from a local food place. I happen to have a discount credit card for said food outlet, where I receive 30% off. I pay on this credit card and then on the first day of the next month it is paid off via direct debit from my current account. My six other colleagues always pay me in cash on the day (it's usually around/just over £5 each). Sometimes they will bank transfer it to me from their phone if they have forgotten cash. It is a bit of a pain having £30/£40 in cash every week that I then have to put aside rather than spend so that I can put it into the bank to pay off the card every month, but I do it so that we have a nice lunch and that everyone gets to take advantage of the discount. I've ended up getting a little petty cash tin that I keep everyone's money in so that I don't end up frittering it and then having to fork out at the end of the month myself.

There is one person out of the six, let's call her B, that over the last 6 months, always "forgets" her money. It started with me saying "don't worry just bring it in tomorrow" or "I don't have to pay the credit card off until the end of the month so it's OK, just transfer it before then". After saying this, she started not paying me at all until the end of the month, and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off. This is true, however everyone else has continued to give me their cash. Like I say above, it's kept in my locked drawer in my desk so it's not like I am spending it! I would be happier if everyone paid me directly into my bank at the end of the month if they wanted to, as it would be easier for me than going into town to go into the bank.

So for the last few months I have had to keep a tally of what B has ordered every week and then let her know that's what she owes when it comes towards the end of the month. This worked for a few months, but the money was always late. She would pay on the 4th or the 5th and I would have to ask every day "ah B, have you got that money for me" and end up subbing her.

So it's now the 11th, it's Friday, she hasn't paid me for last month and so I am £24 out of pocket (The direct debit for the card gets taken out of my current account on the 1st). She obviously hasn't paid me for last week (Friday 4th) either. I have asked every single morning, and reminded her every evening. She just says "I've forgotten sorry, will bring it in tomorrow" and then it never happens. I've asked if she would rather transfer it and she has said no. I've started asking in front of other people (it's an open plan office) in the hope that she would be embarrassed into remembering but it doesn't seem to bother her. It's now got to the point where I am fuming!

We just all started talking about lunch this morning and I have said I no longer want to provide the discount card lunch for everyone as I am not getting the money back in full and on time. One of the other girls has said "who's not paying you?", I looked awkward and said "B, I know you keep forgetting but I am £24 out of pocket, and I can't afford to keep doing it". She basically accused me of bullying her and has run off to the toilets. Two of the other girls followed and said she's in there crying. There is now a horrible atmosphere in the office. She's now back at her desk and ignoring me. The others have said about not having any lunch and how they're going to starve all day. So I've given in and let them use the card. I didn't think B would have the brass neck to order something but she has.

ARGGGGGHHH! Now what?

OP posts:
managedmis · 11/10/2019 12:53

How nice can this food be that it’s worth this amount of stress and financial machinations?

^^

This.

You work mate is taking the piss, big time.

You're not a carpet op, so stop acting like one.

Ellisandra · 11/10/2019 12:54

I’m liking E.

managedmis · 11/10/2019 12:54

So I've given in and let them use the card.

^^

More fool you OP. 'Fraid you can't complain.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 11/10/2019 12:54

Firstly, I hope B pays the money she owes you ASAP, OP.

Secondly, I wouldn't say anything more until next Friday - and then only order food for people who pay you upfront - and if that means B misses out - tough!!

RolyRolyRolyPoly · 11/10/2019 12:55

I'm fuming at B - iatch's reply! The nerve! Where do entitled twats like her come from?! To feel such nonchalance and entitlement over someone else's money and card! Wow!

I would ignore her from now! You've made your point. Next week, order for whomever gives you money first. B doesn't need to spoil it for others, though they are idiots for not speaking up and you can choose to not order for idiots and B- iatch supporters too. Your card, you rules!

TheFutureMrsB · 11/10/2019 12:55

But she isn't paying at the end of the month like normal is she! She hasn't paid, that's what this is all about, brass neck of some people is unbelievable Hmm

managedmis · 11/10/2019 12:57

How old is B anyway, 12? Crying in the fucking loos? God if this was my work place we would seriously rip the piss

frazzledasarock · 11/10/2019 12:58

Just order for people who pay you.

When we do lunch runs we give the money up front. Doesn’t matter if person doing the run/order is ordering on their cards or not. They take money off people get the food. That’s how I do it.

I utterly refuse to buy food for people out of my own pocket why on earth should I, my department is massive I’d hit my credit limit if I did the whole eat now pay later!

They should pay when ordering as they’re eating the food. It doesn’t matter what you do with the money, the money is yours as you’ve paid for their lunch. You can use the cash for whatever you choose it’s yours as they’ve got their lunch using your card the cash offsets the debt on your card.

And stand your ground next Friday do not place any orders for anyone not paying upfront. They can go cry in toilets all they want. You’re the one out of pocket.

YobaOljazUwaque · 11/10/2019 12:58

You were quite right to stop subsidising B but it was silly to just announce this thismorning - it meant no one could make other arrangements. So I think it was the right thing to do to let them use it again today.

But you need to say on Monday "So that everyone has warning, I want to make it clear that my card cannot be used until I have been paid the £30 I am now owed after I was guilt-tripped into allowing the debt to increase even further on Friday. Once I have been paid that debt, I will be happy for my card to be used again but only on a cash-in-advance basis - anyone who forgets their money will have to borrow from someone else or they can't be part of the order because I cannot subsidise anyone. Everyone had better have a backup plan for lunch next Friday as obviously we don't want anyone going hungry."

Ilovetolurk · 11/10/2019 12:58

people need to pay on the day, by instant bank transfer, before you place the order

I agree with this as long as you don’t mind sharing your bank details.

Set up a reminder to email everyone each Friday morning with a cut off time for orders and payments

Use the email to remind the bad payer until she pays. Cheeky mare

messolini9 · 11/10/2019 12:58

made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off
Deflection.
You are fronting the payment, your discount is being used to benefit all colleagues. She is trying to imply that you are somehow "making" on a deal, to distract from her own grabbiness.

She basically accused me of bullying her and has run off to the toilets
She needs to grow the fuck up, & take responsibility not just for her debts, but her emotions. If anyone is a bully here, it is her - she wasn't bothered by you asking to be repaid, was she?

I didn't think B would have the brass neck to order something but she has.
Funny how she can go from howling tears & feeling "bullied" to eating a nice lunch. At your expense, OP!

As to "now what?" - it's simple.
Next Friday, you take the lunch orders, but only from people who pay.
You cannot take CF Colleague's order, because she still owes you £24.
Don't let her crocodile tears & running off antics bully YOU into subbing her.

MulticolourMophead · 11/10/2019 12:59

Send an email round to confirm that all money to be paid upfront.

It's then in writing, so if she complains about bullying, it has no kegs6.

whiteroseredrose · 11/10/2019 12:59

Shocking!!

OnlyTheTitOfTheIceberg · 11/10/2019 12:59

You only need one rule going forward: no money up front, no order on the discount card. If B doesn't pay up at the point you're ordering, B's lunch doesn't get added to the order and she can sort herself out for food. Simple as that.

MutedUser · 11/10/2019 13:00

What a load of hassle just stop it I would start taking in a sandwich on Friday too.

EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard · 11/10/2019 13:00

Grunting and telling you her payment terms. No. Your discount card = YOUR terms. Make them clear and address her directly that due to arrears she has to pay like everyone else if she wants to be included.

If she can’t stump up £5 or so to pay as she eats, she’s only going to get further behind paying monthly, as she’s demonstrated.

ImNotYourGranny · 11/10/2019 13:01

I agree with the others. You need to stop ordering anything for B until she pays up. Then in future only order for her if she pays in advance and you know she can't be trusted. If you continue to order for her knowing she won't pay then that's your own fault really.

And ignore the tantrums which will undoubtedly follow.

AhNowTed · 11/10/2019 13:01

Just read your update. Well done.

Amazing how she's so sensitive, crying one minute, with the hide of an elephant the next.

Make sure you get the money TODAY.

LenoVentura · 11/10/2019 13:02

She's one of those proper CFs who have convinced themselves that somehow you're benefiting from them using your card and them paying you back cash. In her reptilian brain she believes that you are getting paid twice or some other such nonsense and in her heart of hearts she thinks she shouldn't pay at all.

I'd just stop doing it and explain to the others in the group that there's just too much stress involved for the sake of £1.50 each or whatever it is.

noenergy · 11/10/2019 13:02

It doesn't matter that you are not paying until the end of the month, and since she hasn't paid her bit I'm sure she owes interest. who ever wants food needs to pay before ordering, I wouldn't let her spoil it for everyone else who pays upfront. I can't believe she ordered food today, I wouldn't have let her.

sparklefarts · 11/10/2019 13:03

Mate I just wouldn't be ordering for her again ever, money upfront or not.
She's insanely rude

sparklefarts · 11/10/2019 13:03

Also, what IS the food OP?

NWQM · 11/10/2019 13:03

B is out of order but it's easy for us to say that not sat with you in that atmosphere......
I think it's okay that you let the card be used today. B's reaction made it hard and was designed to do that.

I think you need to divorce the 2 things now.

Put out a message that says you enjoy the lunches, very happy for the discount to continue and your card used. If people bring the cash or make a bank transfer the day before. Tell them the later is actually easier. Add the menu and add your bank details. Say without this you really can't afford to continue to do it as you are owed x at the minute. Don't say by who in the email. They know.

Ask thought that the arrears are brought up to date by next pay day at the latest.

So not worry that it is bullying.

milveycrohn · 11/10/2019 13:03

Frankly, all this is far to much hassle. I would have stopped ordering anything for 'B' when she first defaulted on the payment.
And then cancel the lunch club altogether. They can all bring in their own lunch.

Beautiful3 · 11/10/2019 13:03

Omg you were doing really well until you caved in and ordered another lunch for everyone!!! What were you thinking?! Leave that card at home and never bring it into work again.

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