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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU over non-paying colleague? Lunch dramas

1000 replies

Amelia2000 · 11/10/2019 12:06

I work in an open plan office. Every Friday we order lunch from a local food place. I happen to have a discount credit card for said food outlet, where I receive 30% off. I pay on this credit card and then on the first day of the next month it is paid off via direct debit from my current account. My six other colleagues always pay me in cash on the day (it's usually around/just over £5 each). Sometimes they will bank transfer it to me from their phone if they have forgotten cash. It is a bit of a pain having £30/£40 in cash every week that I then have to put aside rather than spend so that I can put it into the bank to pay off the card every month, but I do it so that we have a nice lunch and that everyone gets to take advantage of the discount. I've ended up getting a little petty cash tin that I keep everyone's money in so that I don't end up frittering it and then having to fork out at the end of the month myself.

There is one person out of the six, let's call her B, that over the last 6 months, always "forgets" her money. It started with me saying "don't worry just bring it in tomorrow" or "I don't have to pay the credit card off until the end of the month so it's OK, just transfer it before then". After saying this, she started not paying me at all until the end of the month, and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off. This is true, however everyone else has continued to give me their cash. Like I say above, it's kept in my locked drawer in my desk so it's not like I am spending it! I would be happier if everyone paid me directly into my bank at the end of the month if they wanted to, as it would be easier for me than going into town to go into the bank.

So for the last few months I have had to keep a tally of what B has ordered every week and then let her know that's what she owes when it comes towards the end of the month. This worked for a few months, but the money was always late. She would pay on the 4th or the 5th and I would have to ask every day "ah B, have you got that money for me" and end up subbing her.

So it's now the 11th, it's Friday, she hasn't paid me for last month and so I am £24 out of pocket (The direct debit for the card gets taken out of my current account on the 1st). She obviously hasn't paid me for last week (Friday 4th) either. I have asked every single morning, and reminded her every evening. She just says "I've forgotten sorry, will bring it in tomorrow" and then it never happens. I've asked if she would rather transfer it and she has said no. I've started asking in front of other people (it's an open plan office) in the hope that she would be embarrassed into remembering but it doesn't seem to bother her. It's now got to the point where I am fuming!

We just all started talking about lunch this morning and I have said I no longer want to provide the discount card lunch for everyone as I am not getting the money back in full and on time. One of the other girls has said "who's not paying you?", I looked awkward and said "B, I know you keep forgetting but I am £24 out of pocket, and I can't afford to keep doing it". She basically accused me of bullying her and has run off to the toilets. Two of the other girls followed and said she's in there crying. There is now a horrible atmosphere in the office. She's now back at her desk and ignoring me. The others have said about not having any lunch and how they're going to starve all day. So I've given in and let them use the card. I didn't think B would have the brass neck to order something but she has.

ARGGGGGHHH! Now what?

OP posts:
colourlessgreenidea · 11/10/2019 12:31

How nice can this food be that it’s worth this amount of stress and financial machinations?

Even before you get to the non-payer, the special cash box and having to go to the bank specifically to pay £30 cash into your account in order to then transfer it to the card sounds like far more hassle than is warranted by saving £1.50 on a lunch Confused

Span1elsRock · 11/10/2019 12:31

Next week, you say "oh sorry, my card was used fraudulently and I've had to cancel it".

End of discussion. You are not responsible for any of these people, just yourself.

SamBeckettslastleap · 11/10/2019 12:31

It doesn't matter if you spend their money every Friday on gin, they have eaten the value that they have paid you. You now owe the money, you could not pay it off if you so wished, you could pay it off next year, it is your debt to do with as you please. Don't feel guilty, if they ordered it themselves they would still have spent £5.20.
Do not subsidies B any more she is a CF. On Monday say you will only be ordering if all debts are paid and cash/bacs up front. I also would not be leaving cash in a drawer...

RhiWrites · 11/10/2019 12:32

Stop doing it entirely! Bring in your lunch from home. These people are taking advantage. Accusing you of ‘bullying’ for not subsiding your colleague’s lunch is outrageous. Make it clear that today is the LAST EVER time and prepare yourself because moocher will never pay you what she owes.

WidowTwonky · 11/10/2019 12:32

They can order OP without your card. They will lot starve. It’s hardly not like there’s no alternative, just make them pay full price

Cordial11 · 11/10/2019 12:35

Oh I hate people like B!!

Really can’t believe she ordered again! Please let us know Monday if she coughs up Shock

NewNameGuy · 11/10/2019 12:36

Eat her food when it arrives.
Shred the discount card and tell her she can eat that

Batcrazy101 · 11/10/2019 12:36

OP I find it really strange how you deal with this money. Why do you need to put it in the bank to cover the cost? Can you not spend it on your food shop/similar (therefore the money you would have removed from your bank covers the cost of the credit card DD??)
I also find it strange that you think its fair that they pay you when the DD is due. That’s just crazy! Who pays for their weekly lunch on a monthly basis.

You pay the person who is paying the bill on the day, at a push after the food has arrived but even then, that’s a push! If you had to walk to the shop and show a physical discount card to get the discount would they expect you to fork out and then pay you when you get back. It’s the same situation!!

This woman is the bully, she is taken the mick and needs to make it right. Stop buying the lunch till you have the money!

SmallPinkBear · 11/10/2019 12:37

I would have just said that you are no longer ordering B anything as she hasn't paid.... don't punish the others for her

Molly2017 · 11/10/2019 12:37

After a forensic investigation the award for cheeky fuck of the year goes to.......B

LazyLizzy · 11/10/2019 12:37

This is the most piss taking thing I have heard on here. B is a cheeky cow but everybody else didn't even feel bad for you, their sympathy went to B.

Time to say no.

AhNowTed · 11/10/2019 12:38

Have you asked her to transfer the money?

Just give her your bank details.

The brass neck of her.

LunasOrchid · 11/10/2019 12:38

I don't understand why you don't just go to B and ask her why she has ordered again without paying you what she owes? Let her cry.

Don't give your credit card to anyone. Deal with the order yourself and only order for those who give you the money there and then. B can get her own God damn lunch... cheeky bitch.

OrangeSlices998 · 11/10/2019 12:38

Send everyone an email with your bank details on it, be really clear when you want the money by (probably beforehand, I'd say Thursday) and say 'If you do not send or give me the money BEFORE we order, I will not pay for your lunch' or whatever. Be firm.

And don't let B off. She owes you £30, sod whether it's on a credit card or not. I'd just go over and address it. "I am down £30, you have been rude and disrespectful expecting someone else to pay for your lunch, you need to send me the money you owe."

As others said, no good deed and all that. Sorry OP what a mess!

Timeywimey10 · 11/10/2019 12:39

I'd say that until B pays up, you're not doing it anymore. Yes you are punishing the others for her CFery but they haven't supported you when she cried bullying.

With the cash thing why do you have to pay it in? You could spend it and leave other money in your bank account to pay the credit card bill.

MulticolourMophead · 11/10/2019 12:39

I'd insist you get paid in full, dont agree to a poll payment plan.

There's nothing to say she's struggling, she's just being a CF in getting you to subsidise her.

BumbleBeee69 · 11/10/2019 12:39

What a helpful comment, thank you.

you're welcome and it needed to be said, she is walking all over you and you've just gone and allowed her to order AGAIN on your card...

Wtf OP, grow a pair.

DarlingNikita · 11/10/2019 12:40

The others have said about not having any lunch and how they're going to starve all day. So I've given in and let them use the card.

That's your mistake. You needed to make clear that because of B's persistent non-paying (which I assume at least some of the others know about if you've been asking in front of other people), the lunch arrangement has ended: B has left you with no choice; it's HER fault.

TBH the others sound almost as shit. A bunch of grown adults can't possibly organise themselves any other kind of lunch and have to 'starve' instead? Hmm

I'd email them all and say 'To confirm, because I was always out of pocket due to persistent non-paying, I've had no choice but to end the lunch arrangement. I am owed £xx.xx (or divide it up and name names). I need the money transferred or in cash by end of Monday, please.'

Ignore the atmosphere. Stupid fuckers.

Timeywimey10 · 11/10/2019 12:40

I'm with Bumblebee. You're being far too nice.

MightyAtlantic · 11/10/2019 12:41

I would be sending a strongly worded email to everyone, revoking lunch ordering privileges for evermore. B has spoiled it for everyone!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 11/10/2019 12:41

Presumably, as @Amelia2000 isn't organising today's lunch order, one of her colleagues will be paying for it - so they will either have to sub B's lunch (which may bring home to them why the OP is not happy about the situation) or B will have to cough up the money up front. And if she can do the latter, it begs the question, why did she refuse to pay up front in previous weeks?

Either way, I think the OP's colleagues are going to start to see the truth of the situation.

DarlingNikita · 11/10/2019 12:42

Next week, you say "oh sorry, my card was used fraudulently and I've had to cancel it"

Bollocks to that.
a) the OP has nothing to say 'sorry' about
b) she has no need to lie

Amelia2000 · 11/10/2019 12:42

Really can’t believe she ordered again!

This is what I am most shocked at!

Food has arrived. I have said that as from next Friday I will need the money upfront from everyone before I order it as I can't be out of pocket anymore. Everyone agreed apart from B. Not looking at me, and tucking into her lunch, she's said "I will pay you at the end of the month like normal".

Another girl, E, has just said "B, you're being completely out of order, you need to pay up as you're ruining it for all of us, Amelia (not my real name don't worry) isn't going to order any lunches for any of us if you continue to take the piss". She hasn't said anything since. I have just written my bank details on a post it and given them to her and asked her to transfer all the money to me including today's which is now just over £35. She just grunted. She hasn't said anything more.

OP posts:
OurChristmasMiracle · 11/10/2019 12:44

Moving forwards I would say that this week was the last week you are prepared to pay for lunch on your card and that everyone needs to organise their own lunch moving forwards as it’s just too much hassle going to the bank etc and people not paying promptly.

I would remind B that you expect the money back by x date.

Yummymummy2020 · 11/10/2019 12:44

Don’t be fooled by the crying, she knew well what she was doing and she was basically throwing a tantrum that you don’t want to continue to fund her lunches.
I understand it’s easy to get clouded in situations like this when you don’t want to feel bad or have anyone think bad of you but honestly they won’t, you are completely in the right. I wouldn’t spend another cent on her. She is taking advantage and I don’t expect you will see that money again, at best do damage limitation and stop ordering in advance for anyone without money, then everyone is treated equally. I also would be the one placing the order so B can’t just add her own in for free!!!

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