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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU over non-paying colleague? Lunch dramas

1000 replies

Amelia2000 · 11/10/2019 12:06

I work in an open plan office. Every Friday we order lunch from a local food place. I happen to have a discount credit card for said food outlet, where I receive 30% off. I pay on this credit card and then on the first day of the next month it is paid off via direct debit from my current account. My six other colleagues always pay me in cash on the day (it's usually around/just over £5 each). Sometimes they will bank transfer it to me from their phone if they have forgotten cash. It is a bit of a pain having £30/£40 in cash every week that I then have to put aside rather than spend so that I can put it into the bank to pay off the card every month, but I do it so that we have a nice lunch and that everyone gets to take advantage of the discount. I've ended up getting a little petty cash tin that I keep everyone's money in so that I don't end up frittering it and then having to fork out at the end of the month myself.

There is one person out of the six, let's call her B, that over the last 6 months, always "forgets" her money. It started with me saying "don't worry just bring it in tomorrow" or "I don't have to pay the credit card off until the end of the month so it's OK, just transfer it before then". After saying this, she started not paying me at all until the end of the month, and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off. This is true, however everyone else has continued to give me their cash. Like I say above, it's kept in my locked drawer in my desk so it's not like I am spending it! I would be happier if everyone paid me directly into my bank at the end of the month if they wanted to, as it would be easier for me than going into town to go into the bank.

So for the last few months I have had to keep a tally of what B has ordered every week and then let her know that's what she owes when it comes towards the end of the month. This worked for a few months, but the money was always late. She would pay on the 4th or the 5th and I would have to ask every day "ah B, have you got that money for me" and end up subbing her.

So it's now the 11th, it's Friday, she hasn't paid me for last month and so I am £24 out of pocket (The direct debit for the card gets taken out of my current account on the 1st). She obviously hasn't paid me for last week (Friday 4th) either. I have asked every single morning, and reminded her every evening. She just says "I've forgotten sorry, will bring it in tomorrow" and then it never happens. I've asked if she would rather transfer it and she has said no. I've started asking in front of other people (it's an open plan office) in the hope that she would be embarrassed into remembering but it doesn't seem to bother her. It's now got to the point where I am fuming!

We just all started talking about lunch this morning and I have said I no longer want to provide the discount card lunch for everyone as I am not getting the money back in full and on time. One of the other girls has said "who's not paying you?", I looked awkward and said "B, I know you keep forgetting but I am £24 out of pocket, and I can't afford to keep doing it". She basically accused me of bullying her and has run off to the toilets. Two of the other girls followed and said she's in there crying. There is now a horrible atmosphere in the office. She's now back at her desk and ignoring me. The others have said about not having any lunch and how they're going to starve all day. So I've given in and let them use the card. I didn't think B would have the brass neck to order something but she has.

ARGGGGGHHH! Now what?

OP posts:
vikkimoog · 11/10/2019 12:44

Everyone agreed apart from B. Not looking at me, and tucking into her lunch, she's said "I will pay you at the end of the month like normal
CHEEKY FUCKER OF THE HIGHEST ORDER

Timeywimey10 · 11/10/2019 12:45

Well lets hope she does pay you.

And she doesn't pay you at the end of the month does she, she hasn't paid you at all.

MintyMabel · 11/10/2019 12:45

let’s call her B

Please, let’s not.

MulticolourMophead · 11/10/2019 12:45

I think you will get more support now, since E has spoken up. They will see, given her attempt at not paying you, that there's no bullying involved, and they clearly want this arrangement to continue.

Kanga83 · 11/10/2019 12:45

No good deed goes unpunished. She has taken advantage of your generosity, however, I would have told her months ago unless money is paid upfront there's no lunch on your discount card. She's taking the piss. Whether I would have said it in front of everyone in a meeting is another thing as her cheeky fuckery plus tears has turned you into the mean one (which you are not, but office politics and all that shit).

Timeywimey10 · 11/10/2019 12:45

Glad your colleague stepped up to support you, too.

Lifecraft · 11/10/2019 12:47

Next week, you say "oh sorry, my card was used fraudulently and I've had to cancel it"

Why make up stuff.

Next week, just say "you're not using my card because B is a thieving cunt who fucking owes me 30 fucking quid and until she stops fucking sponging off me, I'm not offering my card to any of you. And if the blood sucking poncing leech does finally pay up, in future it's money on the day in advance of the order, so no money, no fucking free food off me, you parasites"

I think that just about covers it.

eddielizzard · 11/10/2019 12:47

B is of course completely unreasonable. You have been kind, but from now on I wouldn't mince any words, don't spare her feelings.

She's taking full advantage of the situation and being a complete CF.

I would tell your colleagues that they are welcome to sub her if they like, but unless everyone pays for their food every friday, this isn't something you can carry on doing.

You're a people pleaser, just like the rest of the office, and B is milking it for everything she can. Don't let her get away with it. Ask her why she doesn't think she should pay for her own food.

mawof3soontobe · 11/10/2019 12:47

The cheek of her to retaliate by refusing to pay you on the day and TELLING you she'll pay at the end of the month Shock

cstaff · 11/10/2019 12:47

Nicely played OP - they can obviously see her for the CF that she is. Either that or they don't want to lose out on their own Friday lunches. If she doesn't pay by next week I would make a point of ordering for everyone but her.

OtraCosaMariposa · 11/10/2019 12:47

Totally agree that the whole thing is far more complicated than it needs to be.

If people want to take advantage of the OP's discount and get a £8 lunch for £5.50, they give her the £5.50 when the order is placed. If they don't/won't/can't, then don't order for them.

Yes the OP's methods of keeping cash, paying it into the bank or whatever are over-complicated and weird but that's up to her. OP, just say you're not doing it any more unless the colleagues - all of them - agree to a cash upfront system.

Kanga83 · 11/10/2019 12:47

Just read your update. Next week, all money before ordering or they don't get the benefit of your generosity.

colourlessgreenidea · 11/10/2019 12:48

Please, let’s not.

GrinGrinGrin

But all CF-shocker tales require an alphabetised cast! Wink

bookwormsforever · 11/10/2019 12:49

OMFG, what a CF. Really can't believe the brass neck of some people. At least your colleague supported you. Let us know if she pays you today!!

I'd have been tempted to eat her lunch today though.

sunshinesupermum · 11/10/2019 12:49

I have said that as from next Friday I will need the money upfront from everyone before I order it as I can't be out of pocket anymore.

Stick to this Amelia2000 and just do not accept any order from B. Personally I wouldn't have ordered her food today but stick to your guns now. Hope she pays you the £30 she owes. What a CF.

Penelopeschat · 11/10/2019 12:50

@Amelia2000 - Email round with Lunch Club Rules - paid up front before order, no exceptions. You must now be almost £30 out if you add in this weeks order. I would also say in email that unless all money owing from previous orders is paid by Thursday at noon you will have to end lunch club. And if B’s accused you of bullying I would definitely have a quick word with manager.
You sound like a lovely person OP. B is absolutely ridiculous!

Blueoasis · 11/10/2019 12:50

She isn't going to pay you back. Next week, take orders from everyone, if she speaks up ignore her and move on to the next person. Order her nothing else. Only buy for those who pay. She can starve. Cheeky fucking bitch.

PrayingandHoping · 11/10/2019 12:50

If she persists then tell her it's not about having the cash before you have to pay your CC bill, it's about not having to keep tabs on what everyone is spending and chasing for money which is what is happening in her situation! She pays before she orders and it goes in the tin (which you are not actually spending which is your business not here) or she doesn't get to order

She sounds like a spoilt princess!

Rosielily · 11/10/2019 12:51

I think it's B who's the Bully! Is she nasty to all her colleagues?

constantlyseekinghappiness · 11/10/2019 12:51

B sounds like such a brat.

I would have been tempted to pick up her lunch and through it in the bin. She hasn’t paid for it after all.

Your recent update is unbelievable.

Group email to everyone -
“‘No one will be using the card again until I have been paid all outstanding monies in full. And thereafter any future orders require cash or bank transfer in advance of order being placed.”

Penelopeschat · 11/10/2019 12:51

Just read update @Amelia2000 - good for you. Also make it clear unless all money owed from previous orders is with you by Thursday, there’s no more Friday lunch. And I’d add in about being out £30!

Roussette · 11/10/2019 12:51

I would carry on with the others who do what they should, but I would say to her... nope, it doesn't work, you're always late in paying me. Money upfront, or you can get your own lunch. I won't be doing it for you unless I have the cash first'

Ifyousayso2019 · 11/10/2019 12:52

Who only brings in enough money to work eg £ 5.20, to pay for a specific meal at a discount price?? I refuse to believe that not one person brings in their full purse containing their debit cards. What if there is an emergency need for cash and all they've got is a poxy £5.20 on them. Surely the place must have something cheaper on the menu for them to order if they've only bought a set amount in.

Just tell them you are no longer doing it. tell them to apply for their own card if the discount means that much to them

constantlyseekinghappiness · 11/10/2019 12:52

** Throw it in the bin

Confused
magicstar1 · 11/10/2019 12:53

I can't believe you let her order today, and then talk to you like that. I'd have taken her order out of the bag today and eaten every bite in front of her.....she could cry all she liked.

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