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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU over non-paying colleague? Lunch dramas

1000 replies

Amelia2000 · 11/10/2019 12:06

I work in an open plan office. Every Friday we order lunch from a local food place. I happen to have a discount credit card for said food outlet, where I receive 30% off. I pay on this credit card and then on the first day of the next month it is paid off via direct debit from my current account. My six other colleagues always pay me in cash on the day (it's usually around/just over £5 each). Sometimes they will bank transfer it to me from their phone if they have forgotten cash. It is a bit of a pain having £30/£40 in cash every week that I then have to put aside rather than spend so that I can put it into the bank to pay off the card every month, but I do it so that we have a nice lunch and that everyone gets to take advantage of the discount. I've ended up getting a little petty cash tin that I keep everyone's money in so that I don't end up frittering it and then having to fork out at the end of the month myself.

There is one person out of the six, let's call her B, that over the last 6 months, always "forgets" her money. It started with me saying "don't worry just bring it in tomorrow" or "I don't have to pay the credit card off until the end of the month so it's OK, just transfer it before then". After saying this, she started not paying me at all until the end of the month, and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off. This is true, however everyone else has continued to give me their cash. Like I say above, it's kept in my locked drawer in my desk so it's not like I am spending it! I would be happier if everyone paid me directly into my bank at the end of the month if they wanted to, as it would be easier for me than going into town to go into the bank.

So for the last few months I have had to keep a tally of what B has ordered every week and then let her know that's what she owes when it comes towards the end of the month. This worked for a few months, but the money was always late. She would pay on the 4th or the 5th and I would have to ask every day "ah B, have you got that money for me" and end up subbing her.

So it's now the 11th, it's Friday, she hasn't paid me for last month and so I am £24 out of pocket (The direct debit for the card gets taken out of my current account on the 1st). She obviously hasn't paid me for last week (Friday 4th) either. I have asked every single morning, and reminded her every evening. She just says "I've forgotten sorry, will bring it in tomorrow" and then it never happens. I've asked if she would rather transfer it and she has said no. I've started asking in front of other people (it's an open plan office) in the hope that she would be embarrassed into remembering but it doesn't seem to bother her. It's now got to the point where I am fuming!

We just all started talking about lunch this morning and I have said I no longer want to provide the discount card lunch for everyone as I am not getting the money back in full and on time. One of the other girls has said "who's not paying you?", I looked awkward and said "B, I know you keep forgetting but I am £24 out of pocket, and I can't afford to keep doing it". She basically accused me of bullying her and has run off to the toilets. Two of the other girls followed and said she's in there crying. There is now a horrible atmosphere in the office. She's now back at her desk and ignoring me. The others have said about not having any lunch and how they're going to starve all day. So I've given in and let them use the card. I didn't think B would have the brass neck to order something but she has.

ARGGGGGHHH! Now what?

OP posts:
DarlingNikita · 11/10/2019 13:04

Well, I'm glad one person at least is backing you. I still think you should stop the arrangement; as your colleague said, B is ruining it for everyone.
Or once B has paid up, tell them you will consider reinstating the arrangement if they do it on whatever terms you set; but exclude B and be upfront and clear about why.

cleanasawhistle · 11/10/2019 13:04

Well done OP.
Now you have said money has to be paid upfront make sure they all stick to that

Puzzledandpissedoff · 11/10/2019 13:04

I gave them the card as I didn't feel it was really fair to punish everyone for B's actions

I get this, but honestly can't understand why you went along with B's despicable behaviour, both with turning on the tears and ordering another lunch. Now that you've caved yet again you'll have a tantrum every week if you try to cut her out, and probably a formal bullying accusation as well ... and don't expect the rest to defend you if their cheap meal is all they really care about

You really do need to shut this down once and for all, and personally I'd tell them all that B's antics have soured things so badly that the only sensible thing is for everyone to make their own arrangemnents in future

If they've got a problem with that, let them take it up with B

MotherofTerriers · 11/10/2019 13:04

I agree. Email round to say that you won't use your card and place everyone's order until you have been paid what you are owed by X day next week.
Also, from now on, cash or transfer when the order is placed or no order for that person. Hopefully she will pay you what she owes you. But certainly no more orders for her without money up front.

You're not responsible for making sure she is fed at lunchtime, she can bring in a packed lunch or place her own order if she doesn't like your terms.

witherwings · 11/10/2019 13:04

Also don't understand why you let her order. You could have let the rest use the card and leave her out. It's not your job to make sure everyone has lunch, it's a nice thing you are doing but you are being a pushover when it comes to B.
She has to pay up for everything she owes you and then pays up front from now on if she wants to be included.

CodenameVillanelle · 11/10/2019 13:05

She's got the hump because she doesn't want to give you money before you have to pay the credit card bill? What a spiteful, petty, stupid woman.
Just carry on doing lunches for everyone but her. She doesn't deserve your generosity.

AllFourOfThem · 11/10/2019 13:05

I have just written my bank details on a post it and given them to her and asked her to transfer all the money to me including today's which is now just over £35. She just grunted. She hasn't said anything more.

This sort of thing really annoys me so my response is probably ott but if she still hasn’t paid next week, I’d ask her again and tell her it’ll end up costing her a fortune if you have to go through the small claims court. Does you employment contract have a clause about honesty and integrity in the workplace? If so embarrass her by threatening to raise a grievance against her.

pinkyredrose · 11/10/2019 13:05

Why did you let B order today? Don't understand why you'd let her.

Lonelymum11 · 11/10/2019 13:06

Everyone agreed apart from B. Not looking at me, and tucking into her lunch, she's said "I will pay you at the end of the month like normal".

But it's not like normal, she hasn't even been paying you properly at the end of the month! I am genuinely baffled anyone could have the nerve to think they're being reasonable and not massively taking the piss! It's not up to the person borrowing money to decide the terms they want to pay it back on.

After saying this, she started not paying me at all until the end of the month, and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off.

This is so irrelevant and such a bizarre way of looking at it, if I borrow money from someone it makes no different whether they paid on a credit card, they still paid for me!

tigger1001 · 11/10/2019 13:06

I would be emailing around everyone involved to say that sadly rules need to be in place for ordering lunch on a Friday due to payment issues. And no one will be able to place an order using your card unless it is paid for in full prior to ordering as you cannot afford to subsidise peoples lunches.

And stick to it - that way she can't claim bullying as everyone knows the rules and all have to abide by them

Dyrne · 11/10/2019 13:06

You are far nicer than I am, OP. B’s treatment of you plus the snide insinuation that you are somehow trying to con your work colleagues, would have had me refusing to buy lunch for her forevermore.

I fucking hate people that turn on the waterworks and asset that they’re the injured party because someone has pulled them up on their bullshit.

user1573334 · 11/10/2019 13:07

This has made me absokurtlwt furious on your behalf. When she said tucking into her lunch 'I will pay you at the end of the month as usual' did you say nothing? Why didn't you point out that that isn't usual and it's always late and she hasn't even paid for any of last month's? Which is why you can't risk anyone paying at the end of the month? If they want to pay in advance on pay day fine, but not in arrears. I wouldn't neccessarily cancel lunch club if she doesn't pay, I'd just make damn sure she isn't allowed to order again unless she pays off all her debt and then in advance, weekly, from now on. I bet she's told all the others that she only owns you for last week. Make sure they definitely know the truth. Is there any way she doesn't realise she didn't pay on payday?

Girasole02 · 11/10/2019 13:08

You are too nice. Toughen your boundaries. No cash, no food or just stop the arrangement full stop. If anyone grumbles, give them the opportunity to take it over. It's a dead cert that they won't.

Wedontneedanotherusername · 11/10/2019 13:09

It’s too late now - but where you really went wrong was telling anyone about how you pay of your credit card - it’s none of their business whether you’re paying it in full, using their cash as an alternative to going to the cash point or whatever. It’s got sod all to do with them so they should just pay upfront as they would if you were using a discount voucher, taste card or whatever.

Jaxhog · 11/10/2019 13:09

“‘No one will be using the card again until I have been paid all outstanding monies in full. And thereafter any future orders require cash or bank transfer in advance of order being placed.”

Excellent suggestion. That puts the onus onto the group to make B pay. Not unreasonable, since they are the ones getting the benefit.

Natsel84 · 11/10/2019 13:10

Sorry if I've missed anything. but it might be better to bring your own lunch if there are no other shops around . Saves a lot of hassle

Damntheman · 11/10/2019 13:10

I wouldn't stop the club and lose out on nice time with decent people. I'd just get lunch with those who have already agreed to pay up front, and exclude the fuck out of B.

WhoKnewBeefStew · 11/10/2019 13:10

You've done the right thing OP.

I wouldn't order for B until you get the money off her and up front from now onwards.

TheGoogleMum · 11/10/2019 13:10

Stick to your guns, money up front (and back orders paid!) Or no order. Sounds like everyone else is willing to pay up front. If she tries to kick off point out everyone else pays up front and it isn't fair for you to be out of pocket. She's welcome to order her own lunch if she wants to.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 11/10/2019 13:10

Ah - I see I cross posted with your update OP, and admit I'm surprised that others spoke up though they probably just don't want to lose their discount

Clearly B intends to go right on taking the p**s, so all you can do is refuse further orders from her and deal with the "waaahhh, not faaaiiirrr" when it happens

Good luck with that Hmm

Sobeyondthehills · 11/10/2019 13:11

I will pay you at the end of the month like normal".

point this out

"But you are not paying like normal as you still owe me for last month"

user1573334 · 11/10/2019 13:11

I don't think the OP let her order, I'm guessing she handed over her card wand verbalised her own order and someone else put it in. If that is the case I would pull the person who ordered up on that.

AhNowTed · 11/10/2019 13:12

Your credit arrangement is nothing to do with them, whatsoever.

So knock that on the head.

End of the month indeed! Cheeky bitch.

ThanosSavedMe · 11/10/2019 13:12

Do not be bullied into letting her use your card any more. I’m so glad E said something.

HollowTalk · 11/10/2019 13:12

You shouldn't be dealing with cash. It's just not fair that you're putting it on your credit card and people pay you cash - you either have to go to the bank (and that's a pain in the arse nowadays as there are so few of them about) or you end up spending it throughout the week and have the credit card to pay.

I'd say if someone hasn't put it in your bank an hour before ordering, then you're not ordering for them.

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