To not want to re-home my dog

[Noselfconfidenceatall]

My DP is terrified of my dog (his breed) he was physically attacked bybone and never got over it . He is a fantastic do, great with the DC, loves my mum's toy breed dog but mine he can't handle it. The hairs stand up on his arms when he even talks about him. He understands the upset it will bring in rehoming , however I don't want to 😭

DP needs to get help. Tell him to speak to his GP. Your DC cannot learn that beloved pets are disposable.

Does DP WANT to get over the fear?

Call me a total bitch but if he didn't want to... I would choose the dog.

If he wants to, takes steps to achieve that and struggles I might be more empathetic about the situation.

Choose the dog

What sort of dog is it?

You don’t get rid of your pets for a partner , he needs to get help .

A toughie. For me it would be a no to rehoming straight off the bat but that's just me. How old is your dog and how long has he been a part of your family? How long have you been with this guy and do you think the relationship would stand the pressure of you blaming him for having to rehome your dog? (What breed is your dog btw?)

To me it would be like having to re-home my toddler DS. My dog is just as much a family member as all of us humans are. I couldn't and wouldn't re-home, don't do it if you don't want to, it will be so heartbreaking

Keep you dog. Dp needs therapy / help and patience to overcome his fears. He can conquer his fear - my partner did as he was terrified of dogs due to a childhood attack. If he refuses....

Personally love me love my dogs and cats.

Has your DP asked you to rehome the dog? Or is this your idea?

Let me guess

You have a staffie

Tell him you are not giving up your dog and he will need to seek counselling

Being attacked by a dog would be extremely traumatic. I sympathise with him as it isn’t his fault. Phobias and fears are not rational, they aren’t a choice and the panic they cause can be so debilitating. It is a really difficult situation. Even if he seeks help, he might never be able to share a home with your dog.

Don’t even think about rehoming your dog.

Your DP needs help to get over his fear. If he won’t seek it, he isn’t the one for you. Dogs are not disposable. They are part of the family,

If you dog is not well trained, work on this. It will help a lot.

I am going to add... i would never rehome my dog for a man. Dogs only live a few short years. You could live separately for that time if he really could not overcome the fear and the two of you still want to make a go of it. He should not ask/expect you to do this.

The dog comes first, you had the dog before your partner, poor dog, it’s his family, pack, please don’t give up your dog, he relies and needs you xx

another person here who would (genuinly) choose the dog...

And it isn’t the same, but I had to rehome a very beloved cat when my son developed a severe allergy. We were all devastated. A friend took the cat in for us so I knew he would be happy and well looked after. It’s different because obviously a child does take precedence over a pet, but I would equate an allergy with a phobia in that it is so powerful and overwhelming and beyond the sufferer’s control. Maybe it can be overcome with therapy but I don’t think it is as straightforward as some posters are suggesting.

I still miss the cat, years later so I absolutely understand how painful the thought must be of rehoming.

I was bitten by a dog on my lip as a child, I chose to see it as an accident as there was a fly, but then while walking my dog a massive black dog attacked her and although I'm a bit weary of big black dogs now if I know the owner and what kind of a person they are I usually judge the dog by that. A dog usually reflects the behaviour of the owner. For example I recently lost my 15 year old mix breed and now my toddler has some of her traits as odd as that sounds. Try explain that your dog is more than a dog, that he is family and has some of your traits and personality and explain that all dog are different. Also stair gates can be good for separating different parts of the house.

I kept my little best friend through thick and thin for almost 20 years. Stayed in a horrible abusive relationship so he would have a home. No regrets.

I have a cat, my rule is, love me love my cat. There is no way I would rehome her if my boyfriend was scared of her, I would only rehome her if my son was scared/allergic to her.

Don't do it, OP.

Where's the doggy photo?

Doggo has to stay. You're his person, you can't send him away.

Typical MN. If this was the OP saying she was desperate to get rid of the dog due to the same reasons then everyone would be telling her to leave the bastard. Seriously @Noselfconfidenceatall if you love your partner then sack off the dog. Surely you love your partner more and if you won’t get rid of the dog then maybe you need to think about whether your partner is the right person for you.

I think it would ruin the relationship if you got rid of the dog anyway, the resentment of giving up your friend would cause too many problems.

I love my dog. I would be devastated to rehome her, my children would be incredibly upset too. I don't think I'd want rehome their beloved dog to move a bloke in...

I am going to add... i would never rehome my dog for a man. Dogs only live a few short years. You could live separately for that time if he really could not overcome the fear and the two of you still want to make a go of it. He should not ask/expect you to do this.

I’m afraid this is what I think too.

If it’s such an issue for him, I’m surprised you’re together at all? Does he never come to your house?

You can live apart, until it is no longer an issue, if you’re genuinely committed to each other. How old is your dog?

The dog was there first!! He's a family member and the children love him. Partner needs help and fast. No way should you get rid of poor
Dog 😓