To not want to re-home my dog

[Noselfconfidenceatall]

My DP is terrified of my dog (his breed) he was physically attacked bybone and never got over it . He is a fantastic do, great with the DC, loves my mum's toy breed dog but mine he can't handle it. The hairs stand up on his arms when he even talks about him. He understands the upset it will bring in rehoming , however I don't want to 😭

How long have you had the dog? How long have you been with the boyfriend? It’s a pretty shit thing to even consider doing imo

Yes it's a staffie , and yes this is fucking hard

When I met now dh he had to pass the ddog test.
Or our relationship would haven't even begun..
I have a rottweiler.
Dh survived.

Don't do it OP that's your dog fgs and it's fone nothing to warrant the torture of abandonment. What madness.

Your DP's situation is unfortunate but its him that needs to seek help for his mental health issues; which are extremely severe. PTSD and a phobia of dogs are very legitimate but also very treatable and if he us a half decent person he would exhaust those avenues before having you give up a member of your family. Men do mostly come and go, I think you'd potentially regret this and it would affect your own mental health.

Did he start the relationship with you knowing that you had a staffie?

I could never choose a man over my dog. I feel sick at the thought.

Yes he did know , yes he has tried , so hard 😔 and when I mean hard he really has , but he just cannot get over it , we accidentally fell in love going along trying to make it work 😑

What if anyone you know /family have a ddog he hates also? Live 24!/7 in a ddog free bubble??
He needs therapy.
Or your poor ddog will when it is dumped in a shelter...

I've never met a man who could hold a candle to my dog, so it's a no brainer. Dogs are family. Partners come and go only too often.

If you must stay with the man, live apart.

Your dog won't understand why he's being rehomed - you are his whole world. And this is very much not the dog's fault - whereas your partner can presumably understand the situation.

Please don't abandon your dog :'(

How old is your dog?
How long have you had it?

Live apart and continue seeing this man. Keep your dog.

I am sure you already know this but does he...

Rehoming even the friendliest loveliest staffie in the world is nigh on impossible, even finding a rescue to take one is like rocking horse shit, simply because there are SO many needing homes and so few homes available, not just for staffies but for any dog.

So it isn't really a case of 'rehome your dog' but a potential case of 'your dog loses his life'.

I'd see a behaviourist/trainer who can advise the best way to seperate a house up so your dog gets attention and interaction but your OH can feel safe when he is there.

This isn't just an issue for the dog there are also your DC to consider... I have seen first hand the trauma that giving up a pet causes children, its FAR harder on them than the pet actually dying of old age/accident in many cases!

He lives quite far away , and yes he isn't here all the time , but he is literally terrified , he is fine with smaller breeds but any pit /bull /husky / malamut type he freezes

He’d be gone. I’d never choose a man over them.

There is no way I'd pick a partner over my dog. No way I could repay her unconditional love by rehoming her or putting her in a shelter. Partners come and go, but dogs are for life, as others have said. If your partner won't even consider having therapy then Im really not sure that he is the right person for you. If he really loves you, then once you've made it clear that the dog is going absolutely nowhere then he'll take the steps to get over this phobia.

Maybe animal therapy based counselling could be a good idea?

If I had the money I would pay a behaviourist in a heart beat , but I only work part time and can't afford that , dp is also on minimum wage , also if could add in no way would my dog to to a shelter , I would rather re-home.dp then that happen and dp understands this , I'm waiting for the perfectly perfect home in my town so i can keep in contact

Trouble is an older dog that gets dumped will be put down, rspca places do do this,

1 I wouldn’t get with a man that had snakes I can’t stand them, surely he knew you had the dog, I would never ever tell anyone to get rid of their loved pet

How about carrying on on a time share basis? Can dog visit your mum while dp visits you?

How about you find a dp who respects your commitment to your ddog instead?

If he understands the upset then he shouldn't be asking you to do it (if he is asking you to rehome your dog). I do wonder if there is an element of incipient control here. If I fell in love with someone who also happened to have a much loved pet I didn't like, I would never dream of binning them unless they got rid of the pet; we would just have to work round it, or stop the relationship. Anyway, I would always keep a dog over a man.

Like said above you don't get rid of your pet for your partner. How unfair :( not all dogs are the same and I don't think you giving up your beloved dog is fair. He was with you first before you met your partner :(

This is very difficult. I am a dog owner and I personally would not rehome my lovely dog for anybody. However op, in your case I think it depends how serious you are about your partner. If your partner is going to be nervous around your dog then in turn this will make your dog nervous and unhappy which would be terrible. I personally would make the dog my priority if I had committed to him/her before the partner. However if you don't want to do that it might be better to rehome your dog rather than have it sad and nervous in your home because of the changed dynamics.

If you do decide to rehome, please go through a reputable agency. Please don't advertise it free to good home or to sell as there are some horrible people out there who will take dogs for bait in encouraging fighting dogs or to breed ext. If you decide to rehome and do it through a reputable agency you will at least know you have really ensured a good new home.

Please don't rehome your dog! What if you don't last, you'll regret it forever. Can you really bear the thought of giving away a dog you love and loves you because you've had to, and it being fine. It could cause huge resentment in your relationship, you might not be able to get over what you felt you had to do.

Ok yes my mum will have him but she has a female toy breed and she bully's my dog. In no way is he forcing me however it's getting a bit stressful for me , I've tried all that I can , and as I've stressed unless the dog is going to a home a proper home.he isn't going anywhere he is 3 so not old at all

A lot of lovely dogs are put down, as people said there just aren’t enough homes, once the dogs out of your care anything can happen to him xx