Absolutely terrified about starting new job ,can't stop crying and shaking.don't know what to do.

[linnyb71]

This is my first time posting so don't know if I'm in the right place. But I just need some help.I've had a really bad year,got made redundant from a job I loved, got another one but it was awful as I was being bullied ,stuck it out for 6 months but couldnt take anymore and left and got another job which I thought would be better for me as it was quite similar to the job I got made redundant from but it wasn't. It was horrendous. So here I am just about to start yet another job this afternoon and I don't think I can do it.the thing is I'd be letting people down if I don't go.also there's the financial implications. I'm so lost just feel like running far away.I'm in a terrible state.I don't even know why I posted this here,just wanted someone to talk to I guess.any help would be very welcome right now.I had a breakdown once before due to work and I'm heading the same way again.what shall I do?

It's going to be ok, you've done the hardest part last week.
Try and get stuck into some chores tomorrow, or something that will occupy you so you are not sitting and thinking too much.

PS, meant to say: it takes about 6mths to settle in to a new job I'm told, so don't worry if you aren't totally 'feeling' it.

I'm no expert, but this used to work for me. Tell yourself you are going to do this job for a month. You can stick it out for a month, right? If after a month you are still unsettled, you're going to leave and find something else. But you're definitely going to do that month. By the time I got to the end of the month, I was settled in enough to tell myself I would give it a bit longer.

You just need to try and remember how you felt last week and focus on the fact you got through it so it can't be that bad. Remember how nice your new colleagues were to you. They will be just as nice tomorrow :)

Come on Linny! You’ve got this! Just keep yourself busy today and then it will be time to go! I bet your colleagues will be glad to see you and you’ll enjoy your shift once you get there. X

Have you seen your GP yet about your mental health? If not, suggest doing so. I have a MH issue and at times have found working hard, professional help has made a big difference.

Ask your doctor for propropnol they really help me when I'm anxious.
Also remember you did it when you were terrified, that takes guts.
Good luck for today!

Propranolol, that was meant to say.

Thought I was gonna be okay but I'm upset again.

You are okay, though, linny. You were terrified last week and you did it and it was fine. So you’ll definitely be okay again today.

Please book a GP appointment- even if it’s in 2 weeks’ time.

Once your body and brain have learned to cope with stressful situations by flooding your system with cortisol (stress hormone), then it will keep doing it - trying to help you - but in inappropriate situations, like this, causing you anxiety and panic-stricken physical feelings. Your body needs help to break the pattern it’s established.

Don’t try to avoid medication, it’s not a weakness to need a bit of help to reset your baseline after a long stressful period. Your GP will explain it and listen if you’re worried.

So book that GP appointment today, if you haven’t already, and then have a great shift at work.

You have done a week, you can do it again, you know you can. You got through the first day, which was the hardest, you can do it again and it will get easier every time.

Proud of you linny

How are you getting on Linny?

Hi everyone.well I have an update for you.was struggling really badly with the anxiety last week,so unfortunately Sunday was my last shift there. It really was not the right job for me.the final straw was when they forgot my break and I just got left at my post .I was still there past my finishing time .I eventually managed to get someone's attention and they apologised and sent me home.I was in a terrible state when I got home and my daughter and her partner took hours to calm me down.anyway we decided that I shouldn't go back and I felt such a failure but every cloud has a silver lining.I've got another job already. Working in a new shop with people I already know from a previous job and even better my lovely daughter will be working there with me too.so maybe in the end it was all for the best.I dont regret trying this job out ,and in some ways I'm glad I did.But I'm much happier now I don't have to go back,and instead of being terrified and ill I'm looking forward to starting there on Sunday. It's a familiar job with some people I know and I really think it will do me the world of good.Thankyou all so much for all of your support and kindness.you really all have helped me more than you know.will keep you all updated.lots of love.xxx

Well done OP, you tried it, decided it wasn't for you & did something about it.
That's being decisive! 🙂

Good Luck in your new job.

Aww thankyou so much Horsemad..My daughter and her partner were saying I seem much happier already. And I have to admit that it's like a heavy weight has been lifted .Im not out of the woods yet but I can see light at the end of the tunnel .xxx

So happy for you OP. You'll be great on Sunday. Enjoy it.

Glad there is a happy ending to this thread!

It resonated with me because I had major anxiety attacks about starting my last new job and it was all related to a combination of previous work experiences which had crushed me and left me with no confidence.

Anyway, 18 months on and I feel so different, my confidence is back and I have just been promoted.

My anxiety going away was very much down to working with the right team and nice, supportive people, which it sounds like you will have in your new job so, yay!

Oh that sounds promising! Best of luck 🍰🍾🥂

Go to work, take one day at a time, you will be fine, in your head work on a day to day basis telling yourself you can leave any time you want. You are in control, remember that.

Mummyshark. Thankyou.I'm actually excited about starting there.its a job I can really get stuck into and with my daughter by my side too we are hoping to make a difference. I just want to feel useful again and feel that sense of achievement at the end of the shift that I haven't really felt since I got made redundant from the job I loved.Peggywooley, you have hit the nail on the head,I'm sure all my anxiety was down to horrible people and experiences at previous jobs.I'm so happy for you.and congratulations on your promotion. You sound amazing.I'm hoping I've finally found what I've been searching for.I have a good feeling about this,so fingers crossed.Thankyou spookily bad. Much appreciated. Cantremember, I'm sure I'll be okay.,still taking it bit by bit ,but this job is more like my old job ,very similar so it'll be familiar which is a great comfort.Once again thankyou all for your kind words.xxx