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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Absolutely terrified about starting new job ,can't stop crying and shaking.don't know what to do.

194 replies

linnyb71 · 10/10/2019 09:28

This is my first time posting so don't know if I'm in the right place. But I just need some help.I've had a really bad year,got made redundant from a job I loved, got another one but it was awful as I was being bullied ,stuck it out for 6 months but couldnt take anymore and left and got another job which I thought would be better for me as it was quite similar to the job I got made redundant from but it wasn't. It was horrendous. So here I am just about to start yet another job this afternoon and I don't think I can do it.the thing is I'd be letting people down if I don't go.also there's the financial implications. I'm so lost just feel like running far away.I'm in a terrible state.I don't even know why I posted this here,just wanted someone to talk to I guess.any help would be very welcome right now.I had a breakdown once before due to work and I'm heading the same way again.what shall I do?

OP posts:

AntennaReborn · 11/10/2019 22:19

Good luck for your shift tomorrow OP.

Anxiety is no picnic, but you're definitely learning to show your anxiety who's boss!!!

Hope you get some good support from your GP to help you along, but you have already taken such an important step going into work this week, well done, you should be very proud of yourself

pickingdaisies · 11/10/2019 22:21

Just found your thread and read right through it, you got your big girl pants on didn't you! Someone close to me suffers anxiety and has got to a door and been unable to go in. So you have really achieved something this week. Your daughter will be so proud of you.

Original poster

linnyb71 · 11/10/2019 22:36

Emmac78.I think I will.I think I deserve it lol.I desperately need a new winter coat ,mines about 5 years old now.saw some lovely ones in primark.perhaps a trip there might be in order,aww thanks namechange, everyone's been so helpful and friendly, met the store manager briefly today too.he got me a locker key and asked how I was getting on.he seemed really nice too.they seem like a great bunch of people, a lady sat with me for over 2 hours today showing me how the till works,helping me if I got stuck on anything.she was brilliant. And so patient lol.shift leader asked her how I was doing and she said my confidence was growing and I was doing really well.so that gave me a boost.anyway good night all ,sweet dreams.have a great weekend whatever you're doing.love you all,xx

OP posts:

GetUpAgain · 11/10/2019 22:45

Flipping heck just read this from the start to the end, its made me cry!!! Well done linny, this is so so lovely. Good luck as you carry on settling into the job

Original poster

linnyb71 · 12/10/2019 05:58

Thankyou so much getupagain. Just getting ready to leave for my next shift.I'm glad it's an early one.less time to sit around worrying.have a lovely day.I appreciate you thinking of me. Xx

OP posts:

fruitypancake · 12/10/2019 06:18

Well done OP.. keep going, you are doing brilliantly

Namechangenecessity · 13/10/2019 00:42

Linny another lovely update, sounds like your colleagues really want you to succeed and enjoy the job, they can probably see what a lovely person you are!

Definitely treat yourself to a coat x

Original poster

linnyb71 · 13/10/2019 09:32

Aww thanks namechange. Yesterday was really busy.I needed help a couple of times with things I wasn't sure about but on the whole it wasn't too bad.last shift today till next Thursday so that thought will keep me going .it's only 4 hours too so will be over before I know it.feeling a bit shaky and tearful this morning but I'm trying not to dwell on it.I've got this far,I can get through this last shift.xx

OP posts:

SureTry · 13/10/2019 13:56

Well done linny! Just keep taking it one shift at a time, you've got this!

NoSquirrels · 13/10/2019 21:29

Well done linny! Make sure you get onto the GP tomorrow and try to get some extra help sorted. You’re doing brilliantly so hopefully your confidence is returning but nothing wrong with some medical support too.

Happysummer2020 · 13/10/2019 22:09

I read the OPs post and was about to write some words of advice but can see she didn't need it and smashed her first day yeay!!!!

Well done @linnyb71 .... it sounds like a lovely environment to work in. Keep asking questions when you need help. Its expected of a new starter. Its sounds like this job is the one for you.

Original poster

linnyb71 · 13/10/2019 22:34

Aww thanks guys.well I made it through the first week of shifts.today wasn't too bad apart from one lady who seemed to resent having to work with me for a bit at the start of the shift.she was supposed to be working with me but she went off and left me to it ,that's fine ,I'm not daft I worked it out but that's not really the point.anyway maybe she wasn't feeling well or she was tired or something. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.after that it was fine cos I went and did something else and everyone else was fantastic. So I'm not gonna let one rude,grumpy person get me down.got 3 days off now to recharge and relax and then start all over again.xx

OP posts:

IncrediblySadToo · 13/10/2019 22:36

I’m feeling rather invested now having read the whole thread!

How was today?

Have you booked a GP appointment?!

IncrediblySadToo · 13/10/2019 22:36

X posted!

IncrediblySadToo · 13/10/2019 22:38

Ah, shame about Grumpy, but it’s probably something else going on in her life, not you (working Sunday makes me grumpy!)

Are you going to go and look at the costs in primark?

ongranaryplease · 13/10/2019 22:58

Enjoy your 3 days off OP! Treat yourself to something, even if it’s just something small, you deserve it

DustyWindows · 13/10/2019 23:03

Just read the whole thread and wanted to say well done to you @linnyb71. You’ve had a brilliant first week at work and from the sound of it, they’re going to be a lovely group of people to work with.

Don’t let one Grump knock your confidence. The way she’s treated you today says more about her than you. Perhaps she’s forgotten what it’s like to be new. Enjoy your well deserved days off .

Original poster

linnyb71 · 14/10/2019 21:22

Hi everyone.haven't been to primark yet.weather was rubbish and just wanted to spend the day at home with my daughter.we watched dvds all afternoon then I treated us to a takeaway for dinner which is a rare treat for us.I've had a lovely chilled day.hope you've all had a good day too.

OP posts:

Sunsetjoy · 14/10/2019 21:26

Awww Linny you’ve done so well!! Look back at your first posts to now you sound so different!! Ignore grumpy worker, there’s plenty more nice ones there to compensate. Well done you! Your doing fab!! X

Happysummer2020 · 14/10/2019 23:23

@linnb71 you're right on the money with your observation that the lady at work who demo started a bit of attitude probably had her own stuff going on.

You have a lot of EQ to recognise that and maybe you'll be a help and support to her one day but can I say that I LOVE your personal journey into this job. You are fab and amazing!!!

Keep it up lady.

ASmallBoxofChocolateBunnies · 15/10/2019 07:23

Well done again linny. You sound amazing! It sounds like you are not just getting through it, but you're getting through it professionally, competently and in a way that is making your new colleagues happy to have you there.

What a result.

I am sure the anxiety will rear its head again, but you're taking steps to deal with that which is brilliant, and you know now you can do it.

Have a good day today, a great shift tomorrow - and a lovely new coat soon!

treacletree · 15/10/2019 09:32

It’s gonna be ok op (just wanted to add my voice to the chorus of people who are telling you that!!) I have been in your shoes as recently as August, when I changed roles from a team/job that had sucked me dry and involved sustained bullying. I had been having panic attacks and my depression and anxiety spiralled by the end. I had 2 weeks off before my new role and thought I wouldn’t be able to go back. But it is NEVER as bad as you think it will be, you are so strong as evidenced by your OP and you are a great mum, so you won’t let the bullies defeat you. You are going to be ok. In-mumsnetty hugs to you.

Original poster

linnyb71 · 15/10/2019 19:44

Aww bless you all.you have no idea how much your support means to me.I've had a lovely couple of days off .still feeling anxious about returning for my next shift on Thursday but at least now I have an idea of what to expect when I get there.I'm still taking it one day and one shift at a time,getting through it as best I can.considering that this time last week I was virtually crippled by fear I think it's a breakthrough. Treacletree I totally get it about the bullying,it's awful,the job I had before this one was full of cliquey, bitchy people who made it quite clear I wasn't welcome.but you know what says more about them than it does about us.massive hugs to you too sweetie.xxx

OP posts:

Namechangenecessity · 15/10/2019 21:53

Glad you’ve enjoyed your days off. Don’t worry about the odd huffy colleague we’ve all got them 🙄 it’s them not you! All of us are delighted you are working through your anxiety, I think you are bloody brilliant personally 😁

Original poster

linnyb71 · 16/10/2019 19:00

Feeling shaky and tearful at the thought of work tomorrow. I think it's because I don't start until 5.30pm.so it's the waiting around to start again .Thought I was gonna be okay but I'm upset again.😦

OP posts:

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