Absolutely terrified about starting new job ,can't stop crying and shaking.don't know what to do.

[linnyb71]

This is my first time posting so don't know if I'm in the right place. But I just need some help.I've had a really bad year,got made redundant from a job I loved, got another one but it was awful as I was being bullied ,stuck it out for 6 months but couldnt take anymore and left and got another job which I thought would be better for me as it was quite similar to the job I got made redundant from but it wasn't. It was horrendous. So here I am just about to start yet another job this afternoon and I don't think I can do it.the thing is I'd be letting people down if I don't go.also there's the financial implications. I'm so lost just feel like running far away.I'm in a terrible state.I don't even know why I posted this here,just wanted someone to talk to I guess.any help would be very welcome right now.I had a breakdown once before due to work and I'm heading the same way again.what shall I do?

linny I think its actually really common to the feel this way after the experiences you have had.

Most people are good workers and do well in their jobs and think of themselves as useful and competent. Suddenly losing your job or finding a working environment that you can't function in can destroy that self image and leave you feeling useless and incompetent.

The when you try to start a new job your brain tries to protect you from the danger it perceives - that you will fail again and it will feel terrible - and floods you with adrenaline and intrusive thoughts.

The thing is that you ARE a good worker, a competent and strong person. Being made redudant or encountering a badly run organisation doesn't change that. You only think YOU changed into a different person, when really it was the SITUATION that changed.

So this new job may be shit - you maybe better off out of it. But it may be GREAT and be a huge boost to your confidence.

You brain is trying to be helpful, to protect you, but its getting it wrong and making things worse. It should eventually work this out, once the job doesn't turn out to be a death trap, but you might need to help it along that path by calming it down for a bit with some tablets.

As a previous poster said, taking an anti-anxiety med is weakness in exactly the same way that taking a chemotherapy med is weakness. It isn't. Not EVER.

You won't need to be sanctioned, because you can cope with this, ok? Go easy on yourself, take it one step at a time, and do what you have to do.

Once you have the immediate stress over, call your GP and get an appointment as soon as you can.

Talk to us for as long as you need; we're all here for you and many of us have been in the same mental space that you are right now.

M3lon thankyou.I'm gonna have to try and get through today as best as I can I think.all this waiting around to start isn't helping at all.I would much rather have started early then I'd be on my way home now and it would be over.

Fill your sink with really cold water and dunk your face in it for a few seconds, it really helps to calm down as the body thinks it is in freezing water and slows your heartrate down, which makes you feel calmer.

Call doctors as soon as they open in the morning and get an appt for tomorrow. Rescue remedy is also really good for calming down.

www.superdrug.com/search?text=rescue+remedy

I think you are right about that linny, the waiting hasn't helped you. In the future you will know that this might be a trigger and you can prepare by asking to take a shift ASAP, or having an earlier start and by having some anti anxiety medication that works for you that you can control acute symptoms with.

The thing about having shocks to your system (like redundancy) is that while they can make you feel worse in the short term, once you recover and find your coping strategies, you will actually be a stronger more robust individual than you were before.

There is hope, and there is recovery and there is becoming resilient....I know because it has happened to me too.

Good luck with your first steps today.

Thankyou longtimelurkerHelen.I will give it a try.just spoken with my daughter and she said that to give it work a try for today then phone the doctors again tomorrow. All I know is I can't go on feeling like this.

Good luck. I dragged myself into work feeling like that for years. Literally stopping to vomit on the way there, sweating and shaking. I did get out. But I'm Also found you can put your game face on and fake it when you get there until I did. You can do this.

Good luçk Linny you can do this. Once you have got through today you will be so pleased with yourself. Show your daughter that even though you feel like this, you have done it.

Yes make sure you see a GP there is help for how you feel. You have done the hard bits applied for a job had an interview and got the position that's fab.

You also sound like you have a wonderful daughter, keep her in mind today when things feel tough. I will be thinking about you. Let us know how it goes.

You are right linny you can't and shouldn;t go on like this. But tomorrow may not be like this at all. Once you have proof that you can get to the job and do it, much of the anxiety may melt away. If it doesn't then seek help because you deserve a better life than this.

Didiplanthis bless you. Sounds horrendous. What a strong person you are to carry on going.when I eventually got out of bed earlier I was crying so much that I vomited. That's when I knew I need to get help.until then I will try to put my best game face on ,plaster a smile on my face and cry when I get home.and Rupertpenrysmistress you are right I do have a wonderful daughter.it's just been the 2 of us against the world for quite a long time the thought of seeing her when I get home will get me through ,and like someone else said earlier if I give it a shot and it doesn't work out then at least I'll know Ive tried.if the worst does happen then I will probably get sanctioned or maybe not if my work coach is sympathetic. But either way I need to get medical help I know that.

Can you cycle in on Saturday mornings?

Hi Tonnerre. No I can't cycle,have terrible balance due to a problem with my inner ear and I don't have a bike anyway. Hopefully I will be able to sort something out.

Well the dreaded time is nearly here.will have to leave in about 30 minutes.I'm still struggling but I'm gonna try and force a smile on my face.my stomach is churning .

You’re going to be OK, linny. You can do it, and you can do it well.

I’m going to check back in on you after your shift finishes later tonight.

Hi nosquirrels.thankyou very much. I've got my shoes on.I'm gonna do this.xx

All the best Linny! Some great advice here but just wanted to send happy new-job vibes your way. You'll be amazing and mostly people love to be helpful, so don't be afraid to ask who the shift manager is or where the loos are. It'll be totally fine and in a few hours when you're home you're going to feel amazing

Good luck!
And think of all the discounted festive food you can buy this year to share with your DD as a distraction

You can do this OP!!!!

Anxiety is evil!! I have suffered it and there’s no worse feeling, it is the anxiety making you feel like you can’t do this but you can I promise!!
One day at a time, the waiting is ALWAYS worse than the actual event, it’s just so unfortunate your shift wasn’t this morning as you have had to sit and allow anxiety to eat you up all day.

I’ll be thinking of you, keep posting to us, lots of support here! Go back to GP and get help with controlling the anxiety and remember the first few days in a new job is an anxious time for everybody!! Soon it will be such a habit to be there, it won’t always be like this

The chances are on your first day you won't actually do much "work" You will most likely spend time learning the ways of where you are working, filling in forms for personnel & shadowing someone. By the time you get there, have been introduced to the people you will be working with & have done all the admin, it will be time to come home again.

Good luck!

Well done !!! Let us know how you get on lovely. Very proud of you. Anxiety is the bloody pits xxxx

Good luck! Let us know how it went ❤️

Good luck OP

I'm thinking of you, OP. You're a for getting yourself there. Hope all's going well.

Dear linny, just read this and I think you're amazing. If you are anything like me the anticipation and waiting is the absolute killer, and I hope you managed ok today.

I don't generally have anxiety issues, but lately I have been getting very stressed and panicked about things I wouldn't normally get so worked up about. there's quite a lot going on, and I just seemed to have run out of any resilience.

A few weeks ago I was almost on the verge of running away and changing my name because I had to drive an unfamiliar, bigger car.

Something loads of people do all the time with no problem.

But I was so, so, stressed about it. I was nearly sick.

But Once I got in, started it and started driving, it was much, much better. I am a competent driver, THere was no reason I shouldn't be fine. but the nerves nearly got the better of me.

I wouldn't say it was the most fun I've had, but it was fine.

And you are obviously competent at what you do. You must be to have been successful at so many interviews.

You are good at it.

I hope all went well.