Absolutely terrified about starting new job ,can't stop crying and shaking.don't know what to do.

[linnyb71]

This is my first time posting so don't know if I'm in the right place. But I just need some help.I've had a really bad year,got made redundant from a job I loved, got another one but it was awful as I was being bullied ,stuck it out for 6 months but couldnt take anymore and left and got another job which I thought would be better for me as it was quite similar to the job I got made redundant from but it wasn't. It was horrendous. So here I am just about to start yet another job this afternoon and I don't think I can do it.the thing is I'd be letting people down if I don't go.also there's the financial implications. I'm so lost just feel like running far away.I'm in a terrible state.I don't even know why I posted this here,just wanted someone to talk to I guess.any help would be very welcome right now.I had a breakdown once before due to work and I'm heading the same way again.what shall I do?

Aww fantastic update, OP!

Your co workers sound like a lovely bunch; hopefully you’ll get into the swing of things in no time!

Well done OP!

Definitely contact the doctors, I had anxiety like this after a number of things knocked my confidence. About a year or so on low dose anti depressants gave me the space to learn to cope again.

"...really feel like I've achieved something today."

And so you should.

Because you most definitely did

Great that you are able to see that, too, as sometimes we can listen to any number of other people trying to convince us we're doing just fine, without actually believing a word of it ourselves.

Remember there's always someone on here anytime you need some friendly reassurance.

Wish you well, Linny.

First thing I did this morning after giving kids their breakfast was check this thread for an update.

Well done Linny!! So proud of you.

A few times I nearly allowed anxiety to stop me doing things, but once I did them, I was so proud of myself

Give anxiety the big middle finger and power on through it, don’t allow it to win. Good idea to go the doctors and get some help with it, and all the best for your shift today!!

Such good news. Here’s to another good shift today and then your working week is half over.

Good morning, linny, and a big, fat well done you! Brilliant. I’m so pleased your new colleagues seem nice.

Now, keep trying for that doctor’s appointment and don’t downplay how bad you have felt. If you can’t get an appointment today please make them understand you’re seeking an urgent appointment as you feel like you’re in crisis with your MH - a doctor ought to be able to call you back on the phone at the very least.

Well done again. You done good!

Fantastic update! You are super brave!

Hi, just wanted to tell you that you are amazing. being so scared and still doing something takes amazing courage! awesome!

Aww thanks everyone .what lovely messages I've woken up to this morning.will definitely keep trying for a gp appointment. Still feel a bit nervous but not quite as bad as yesterday.and 2 of the ladies I met on my shift yesterday will be there today so there will be some familiar faces.and it's only a very short shift today so I'll be home by 5 and we are going out for a birthday meal as it's my daughters birthday today so I've got that to look forward to after work.everyone I've met so far at work has been really nice and very helpful and understanding. I told them I was very nervous and I got reassured that I was doing fine and just to ask if I needed anything.so far so good.wouldn't say I'm looking forward to my shift today but feeling a bit better about going there .like I said yesterday I can't thankyou all enough. It means the world knowing I'm not alone and you're all rooting for me.xx

Oh linny, that is brilliant! (And thank you too).

It feels like a big achievement because it is one. And you didn't just get through it, you got through it successfully. That is epic.

I do think going to doc is a good idea, and it's something I'm going to do myself. Nerves/anxiety can have such a huge impact, a little extra support can go a long way.

Massive cheerleading 'go linny' to you xx

Fabulous!!!!! Take a bow OP!

Proud of you.

This thread is why I love Mumsnet. Loving the support for OP XX

OP, I started on antidepressants about 5 weeks ago and they are making it so much easier already - I wish I had tried them years ago. My anxiety is nowhere near as bad as you describe, but only now that the meds are kicking in am I starting to realise just how horrible it feels. It had become normal to feel horrible most of the time.

But it isn’t normal, and it doesn’t have to carry on. Do go and see your GP, describe your symptoms and s/he will take it from there.

Good luck - and well done for getting through your first shift with anxiety shouting in your ear that you couldn’t do it! But, believe me, meds will help.

Lovely update @linnyb71

Well done linny!

If you hadn't gone yesterday, you'd have spent your time wondering 'what if'.

You've done brilliantly, so pleased for you. Enjoy your meal out tonight. 🙂

Linny I am so impressed with how brave and strong you have been! My daughter suffers from anxiety so I know how terribly debilitating it can be. I’ve been reading this thread and quietly rooting for you, well done! You will have helped other people who similarly suffer, so thank you!
It’s no surprise your new colleagues seem to like you, you sound like a lovely lady.

Puzzledobserver. I'm really happy for you that you're feeling a bit better.I think I should have got help months if not years ago.I think the time has definitely come to ask for help.I guess I just got used to feeling this way.but I realise that the state I was in yesterday is not right and something needs to be done.my moods have been up and down for quite some time but I thought i was just reacting to stressful situations in my life ,I thought it was just normal emotions if that makes sense? And horsemad you are so right.I would have been so cross at myself if I hadn't bitten the bullet and probably would have made myself feel even worse than I do already.thankyou all for all the lovely words of encouragement. Hopefully this next shift will go well too.at least I'm starting earlier today so haven't got as long to sit around worrying and working myself up.still feel a bit shaky but I can get through it.it's less than 4 hours today so I'll be home again before I know it.and tomorrow is a very early start so I'll be home just after lunch time.those thoughts and thinking what I've got to look forward to after work later will keep me going.xx

Dayslikethis1 thankyou so much.I just tried to keep a smile on my face even though inside I was crying .and after a while it didn't completely go away but I was able to function better. Every person I came across who I hadn't met I introduced myself ,said nice to meet you ,and it just got a bit easier as the shift went on.I totally get how your daughter feels.it's crippling and very scary.couldn't have got through it yesterday without the support and love of my wonderful daughter and all you amazing people. And I really do hope that in some small way I have helped others.means so much.xx

That last post should have said crippling and very scary.x

Well done linny, I could have written this post 3 weeks ago but I was too chicken to do it. I've just started working in a supermarket after being a SAHM for 4 years, I had a complete meltdown before the assessment day and on my first day of work. I cried, argued with everyone and reduced myself to an absolute wreck, I really thought about not turning up but decided I had to at least try. My first day was like yours, I met so many lovely people and before I knew it, my shift had ended. I'm so glad that I pushed through it, I know I would have beaten myself up over it if I didn't. At the moment I'm just trying to take it one shift at a time and trying to be kinder to myself. The anxiety is still there but it's not as crippling as it was at the beginning. Hope your shift goes well today and well done for pushing through, I know it would have taken a lot for you to do it.

You are an absolute star

Aww suretry. I know exactly what you mean.I thought of not turning up too.I seriously didn't think I'd be able to do it.I seriously considered running away ,cos I felt so useless and couldn't see how I was gonna get through that shift.I really had to force myself. I've now done my second shift today and although I was still scared and shaky I got through that one too.the fear was still there but like you it wasn't quite as bad and I wasn't such a wreck as before the first shift.it will get better for both of us.got an early tomorrow so start at 7 and finish at 1.I keep thinking to myself while I'm there ,1 hour down,2 hours down etc and before I know it it's time to go home. I find breaking it down into chunks like that really helps.well done to you for being so strong too.another thing I do is say to myself 2 shifts down,I'm halfway there, only 2 more to go and I've got 3 days off.stay strong ,we can do this.xx

Once again thankyou for all the lovely messages today everyone.this shift today was busier because I was in earlier but the time flew. Hoping tomorrow will be the same. And to everyone who is struggling I just wanna say you're not alone.it's really helped me talking it through on here so I'd really like to thank you all for that.xxx

Glad to hear you are doing well at the new job. I think breaking the shift down i to smaller chunks is a good idea. Maybe treat yourself to something at the end of the first week to celebrate your successful start at work.

Well done Linny! You should be very proud of yourself and we are all rooting for you here! You never know, you might even end up liking it and sounds like you have some nice co workers !

What a fantastic outcome! Well done OP