Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by commuters ignoring 'baby on board'?

354 replies

puffingalong · 10/10/2019 07:02

I think the title summarises my gripe. The baby on board badge is not really working (sometimes it does, but not at rush hour and not the majority of the time). I could believe that the badge isn't noticeable enough, I don't think it's difficult in my case when you include my ginormous bump (I'm 7 months and my bump is on the large side, the rest of me pretty small).

In my experience, the majority of people sitting in the seats for disabled/pregnant/elderly people just don't bother looking up to check if anyone else needs those seats more than them.

I know I could ask for a seat but I'm too British! Has anyone found any fun shaming tactics for this situation?

OP posts:
Embracelife · 10/10/2019 08:17

Just ask! With a point to the badge.
I dont notice when rushing in the morning thinking about other things. The badge says why you need a seat.
You need to practice being assertive ready for when you need to speak up for your child.take this as a good opportunity to learn to speak out....

Witchinaditch · 10/10/2019 08:17

Just ask those badges are so obnoxious.

plunkplunkfizz · 10/10/2019 08:19

“Fun shaming tactics”? It’s people like you that give pregnant people a bad name. You’re not carrying the new messiah, you have no more right to use the seats than they may have because they might have invisible needs. You’ll never know if you don’t ask.

I remember a pregnant lady having great “fun” shaming me for being fat and lazy and in the priority seat because she didn’t see my double crutches tucked away on the floor. She was an utter cunt and you could be too.

MonstranceClock · 10/10/2019 08:20

I would purposefully ignore anyone wearing one of those stupid badges. Just ask.

AllStarBySmashMouth · 10/10/2019 08:21

Just ask. Don't shame people, they might have a reason for using the accessible seat. Even if they don't, commuter trains are busy and they are probably just sitting in the only free seat there was left. If you want it, just ask. I can't say I pay any attention to who is getting on the train when I'm commuting. They probably haven't seen you.

plunkplunkfizz · 10/10/2019 08:23

I would purposefully ignore anyone wearing one of those stupid badges.

What a twatty thing to say. It’s not attention seeking, it’s an official scheme run by TFL to help people. Would you ignore the disability badges they do to? You know some people might have those because they can’t ask.

Tonnerre · 10/10/2019 08:26

The idea that shaming is “fun” is really a bit disturbing

No, it isn't, when people have obviously seen but are pretending they haven't. When I was pregnant and standing on an underground train whilst a load of men in seats sat studiously looking downwards or desperately staring at their papers, a woman called to me from the other end of the compartment to ask if I'd like a seat. The seated passengers continued to ignore the situation even though it was irrational that the woman should move when there were so many people nearer who could offer their seats. As she moved up the carriage and I moved down, we were both really quite clumsy and seemed to knock the newspapers of every man we passed. It was quite satisfying.

London91 · 10/10/2019 08:27

I actually hate these badges. If you need a seat, just ask. There are lots of reasons someone else might need a seat. On my commute I'm not looking out for a badge, I'm taking probably the only bit of time for myself. Plus carriages are crowded even if you were looking for anyone who might need a seat you might not necessarily see them.

Ali1cedowntherabbithole · 10/10/2019 08:28

You can't shame people sitting in those seats because they may need them more than you.

This. Stop judging and start asking.

You won’t be pregnant for ever. Remember what it’s like to need a seat too.

myself2020 · 10/10/2019 08:28

@plunkplunkfizz i can understand ignoring them. getting the badges needs no proof at all, and some wearers are very passive aggressive about them (basically demanding people checking over everybody on the train before sitting down).
just ask
(i commuted until due date with both of mine, never wore a badge, always got a seat if i asked)
its a commuted train, people are either working or trying to rest a bit. its not a catwalk where everybody checks you over when you step on

bellinisurge · 10/10/2019 08:30

I'm from out of town. I wouldn't stare at somebody's badge on their chest to work out whether they might or might not need a seat. I've got my own shit to worry about.
Ask me. I might do it. But I have MS - which you can't tell by looking at me so I might not want to. I don't sit in designated disabled seats because I'm sick of trying to explain my hidden condition.

bluebluezoo · 10/10/2019 08:34

What a twatty thing to say. It’s not attention seeking, it’s an official scheme run by TFL to help people. Would you ignore the disability badges they do to? You know some people might have those because they can’t ask

In which case why not a “please offer me a seat” badge as mentioned above.

“Baby on board” just tells me you’re pregnant. I have scoliosis which you can’t see if I’m sat down. It’s a judgement call whether someone needs a seat more- a baby on board badge i probably wouldn’t offer as it tells me nothing about need. Please offer me a seat I would as I’d work on the basis they wouldn’t be wearing it if their need wasn’t immediate.

It’s like the baby on board signs in cars. Yes you’re pregnant/have kids. Thanks for telling me you’ve had sex and can reproduce, but it makes no difference to my life in any way.

nannybeach · 10/10/2019 08:34

When we lived in London, and moved I had to get a bus and tube to the GP etc, no-one ever offered me a seat, even now, loaded with shopping, and now a pensioner, (obviously looking pretty old!) I get on the train, theres people with their bags on the seat next to them or their feet. People in their own little bubbles! Dont even get me started about them barging through the doors when you have been standing patiently on the platform!

BIWI · 10/10/2019 08:35

@Tonnerre

a load of men in seats sat studiously looking downwards or desperately staring at their papers

No they're not. They're reading their papers. Just like all the other commuters are reading their books/kindles or playing on their phones.

It's not some stupid or deliberate conspiracy to prevent pregnant (or otherwise disabled) people from getting a seat. It's the fact that commuters are in their own worlds on their own journey to work.

Switcher88 · 10/10/2019 08:35

I'm always surprised by these threads because I've commuted on the tube in two pregnancies and 90% of the time got offered a seat. The times I haven't I think the carriage was so busy that those sitting down just didn't see me.

diddl · 10/10/2019 08:44

" the majority of people sitting in the seats for disabled/pregnant/elderly people just don't bother looking up to check if anyone else needs those seats more than them."

If they are in the seat because they need them though, then why would they?

If they don't need them-then they probably don't give a damn anyway.

soggypizza · 10/10/2019 08:44

Mind you - we tend to avoid sitting on the tube since the story about catching bedbugs from the seats broke.
metro.co.uk/2018/08/31/yes-you-can-pick-up-bedbugs-from-sitting-down-on-public-transport-7899505/

theunperfectparent · 10/10/2019 08:46

It's no one else's problem that you are pregnant, you could get a earlier train and then a later train after work when it's quieter. Being pregnant isn't a disability. I've had four and I had shitty pregnancies but that was my problem no one else's. Stop being so entitled and as for fun shaming tactics you would just make a fool of yourself

EdWinchester · 10/10/2019 08:47

If you think you might need a seat more than a person occupying one, ask them.

A twee badge or ‘shaming tactics’ Hmm are not necessary.

Funnyface1 · 10/10/2019 08:53

Yes, always fun to shame someone. Are you feeling ashamed yet op? Are you enjoying it?

Monkeyseesmonkeydoes · 10/10/2019 08:59

You need to ask, most people on a packed tube or train won't even notice. They'll be in their own world, listening to music or a podcast, daydreaming, half asleep or whatever.
They'll get up no problem. Those seats are the very last I would take on a journey but if the other seats are full and there's no-one in them then of course I'll sit there.
I don't think I've ever actually noticed anyone with one of those badges BTW, they're maybe no as obvious as you think...

MrsPellegrinoPetrichor · 10/10/2019 09:00

You have to ask,just like people did before those badges were available.

Monkeyseesmonkeydoes · 10/10/2019 09:02

When I was pregnant x 2 and commuting around London every one and their wife offered me seats when they noticed, or gave me a seat when I asked ( towards the end when I couldn't stand up too long).
Try putting your hand on your stomach! Much more effective than a badge. Women don't tend to do that unless they are pregnant!

Elderflower14 · 10/10/2019 09:03

My ds is disabled. He has balance issues. He finds it very hard to stand on the tube. He has one of the TFL badges that say Please Offer Me A Seat. I've had to ask for people to give up their seats for him.
One time no one got up so he walked up and down the carriage with his finger under the badge pushing it out... That did the trick.. A very kind man got up and let ds sit down. 😁 😁 😁 😁

NearlyGranny · 10/10/2019 09:03

DD's heavily pregnant friend was beckoned by the driver of a packed rush hour train and offered a seat in the cab! Must have been the highlight of the whole experience. 😉