To be annoyed by commuters ignoring 'baby on board'?

[puffingalong]

I think the title summarises my gripe. The baby on board badge is not really working (sometimes it does, but not at rush hour and not the majority of the time). I could believe that the badge isn't noticeable enough, I don't think it's difficult in my case when you include my ginormous bump (I'm 7 months and my bump is on the large side, the rest of me pretty small).

In my experience, the majority of people sitting in the seats for disabled/pregnant/elderly people just don't bother looking up to check if anyone else needs those seats more than them.

I know I could ask for a seat but I'm too British! Has anyone found any fun shaming tactics for this situation?

TfL don’t issue “It’s my birthday” badges, though, do they?

The pregnancy and invisible disability badges aren’t there because the people wearing them are ‘entitled’ in some vague arrogant way. They’re entitled to the priority seat, if nobody else who needs it is sitting in it. It’s that simple.

They’re entitled to the priority seat, if nobody else who needs it is sitting in it. It’s that simple

But the badge doesn’t tell me their need.

I know they’re pregnant, but I don’t know if they are feeling completely fine, a bit sick, or are about to collapse.

I will work on the assumption they feel fine, and if they have a particular need for a seat they will ask. An otherwise well pregnant woman will not need the seat more than I do. If she is about to throw up or faint, then she needs it more than me.

How do I know unless asked though?

But the badge doesn’t tell me their need.

It tells you that they are pregnant, and therefore in the category of people that the transport company have decided get priority for the priority seat.

They’re entitled to the priority seat

But not entitled to passive aggressively expect everyone to jump up for them if they aren't able to use their words by expecting a piece of metal to take the place of normal human interaction

"Just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you need a seat."

Presumably that's why the badge is worn though-because you do need a seat?

If you're pregnant & fine with standing, then you wouldn't wear the badge?

Presumably that's why the badge is worn though-because you do need a seat?

So is everyone with any sort of need for a seat supposed to wear a badge? Do tfl produce a badge for every person who fits in the priority category?

I’m fairly willing to bet there are many pregnant badge wearers who do wear them as they feel entitled to a seat rather than from any need. If you actually need a seat, you ask, as there are consequences to not sitting.

What if there are two seats and three people with badges? Do they have some sort if PA stare off?

Ffs you don’t need a badge. Ask people to move.

Yes it is manners to stand up for a pregnant woman. If you get offered a seat out of courtesy, great. But don’t stand near me with your badge glaring because you think you should be offered a seat without having to ask for one, regardless of the need of the person sitting in the seat.

Everyone confused about the badge clearly isn't from london or never rides the tube.
It's not smug or a sign of entitlement it's just a quick way for someone to confirm that you are actually pregnant / need a seat (depending on what badge you have) and not just large and therefore would not be causing offence by offering a seat. If you have a problem with it then don't wear one even if you need one, but it helps a lot of people every day.

There is a massive sign above all the end sets that says that seat is to be offered for pregnant / elderly / disabled passengers.
If you sit in that seat and don't pay attention to everyone else getting on the tube to see if they need sit down more than you then you are in the wrong.

YANBU it's bloody annoying to have to ask every time especially when there is a clear system in place!

Everyone confused about the badge clearly isn't from london or never rides the tube.
It's not smug or a sign of entitlement

I no longer live in London but still commute there and was very much a Londoner when I was pregnant both times. I am entirely familiar with the badge. I still find it smug and irritating. You would have had to pay me a lot of money to wear one.

I never got a seat when I was heavily pregnant on the train, didn’t particularly need to sit down but it was scarily over crowded and I did worry about getting squished

Everyone confused about the badge clearly isn't from london or never rides the tube

I am from london and ”rode the tube” to work for 20 years.

I find it smug and entitled. Like the signs in cars.

Especially when I am sat being glared at by a woman with a badge who won’t ask me for a seat, just stands there judging my “rudeness”.

It’s bloody annoying.

Its not smug and entitled.
It would be maybe id someone bought one in s shop or internet, but these are supplied by LT along with the "please offer me a seat badge"

Worth asking OP.

Commuter trains are worse. I remember crashing my knee into an escalator step as I ran for a train on a mainline station. I got on - the knee was bleeding profusely. No one got up so I sat in the section by the loo - to be met by an ambulance the other end once the guard had come by. Pre mobile phone days. All men intent on their newspapers. However, like OP, I didn't ask.

I'm not in the habit of checking people's clothes for badges, I'm usually chatting to my kids or zoning out on public transport. If you need a seat just ask, it's what I have to do everytime I take my child who has an invisible disability on a bus and I will have to carry on doing it alot longer than your pregnancy lasts.

Its not smug and entitled.
It would be maybe if someone bought one in a shop or internet, but these are supplied by LT along with the "please offer me a seat badge"

I'd still think it look entitled even if it was given out by the NHS.

I'd still think it look entitled even if it was given out by the NHS.
Thankfully the people i see on the tube when i commute dont have that attitude.

Thankfully the people i see on the tube when i commute dont have that attitude.

You'd never know that was my attitude. I give up a seat to anyone who seems to need it. If it's someone wearing one of those smug badges my eye roll at them is only internal but it's still there. If anyone ever just huffed at me then pointed to a badge I'd probably play dumb and ask them what they wanted.

Fortunately even those who wear the badge do usually seem capable of using their words which makes it even more pointless. And irritating.

@bluebluezoo What is your issue with the badge? I genuinely don’t get it. If you’re rude enough to sit there with a pregnant woman in front of you and not have the decency to offer a seat then the issue is with you and the fact you’re completely lacking in normal decency. You have no idea what medical problems that person has, on top of being pregnant, that means they’d be very grateful for a seat. I genuinely hope you or a loved one of yours don’t ever need a seat and meet someone with your attitude.

Again for the people who were irritating - the badge is most needed when you look the least pregnant and helps people know why you’re asking for a seat. If someone without a badge who didn’t look pregnant said they were pregnant and asked for your seat would you give up your seat for them?

What is it about London that makes people utter twats about being decent people and offering someone a seat?!

If someone without a badge who didn’t look pregnant said they were pregnant and asked for your seat would you give up your seat for them?

Of course I would. They wouldn't need to say they were pregnant. If anyone asks me for a seat I assume they need it. Why they need it is immaterial. The badge is a totally irrelevant bit of decoration.

@bluebluezoo What is your issue with the badge? I genuinely don’t get it. If you’re rude enough to sit there with a pregnant woman in front of you and not have the decency to offer a seat then the issue is with you and the fact you’re completely lacking in normal decency. You have no idea what medical problems that person has, on top of being pregnant, that means they’d be very grateful for a seat. I genuinely hope you or a loved one of yours don’t ever need a seat and meet someone with your attitude

You haven’t read the thread. I have scoliosis which is painful and makes it hard to stand on tubes and buses. It isn’t visible when I am sat down, if at all.

I often sit in the priority seat if the train is full. Like I said, if a woman gets on with a baby on board badge I find it very uncomfortable- i know I am expected to give my seat up as she is advertising her “need”,you can’t see mine.

If she said she was feeling sick or dizzy or about to go into labour then of course I’d stand if I was having a good day or not going too far, or explain why I couldn’t. I’ve even budged over so both of us can perch.

But I don’t like being PA judged by someone who can’t ask, just expects a seat because they are pregnant.

Just bloody ask (as pretty much everyone has said!)
I deliberately don’t ever sit in the priority seat, but I’m pretty sure that anyone who does and doesn’t immediately jump to their feet when someone pregnant/elderly/infirm gets on the train isn’t being an arsehole, they just haven’t noticed and a polite request 99% of the time will do the trick! Personally, if I’m standing and notice someone also standing who meets any of those criteria I will always ask if they need to sit and then make the request on their behalf. No-one has ever said no, and they have always been more than obliging. You’re seriously taking offence where none is meant.

Stop whining about something that you can do something about, just ask.

I raised my voice on the tube just now. Massive scrum to get on at Baker Street and I was being shoved from behind (they definitely couldn't see that I was pregnant so it's really not their fault) but in that situation I turn to fight rather than flight... and said 'can you NOT push me please I'm eight months pregnant and I don't want to be squashed' - sheepish looks - so then I said 'and I know it's my choice to be on here at rush hour so I get it's not your problem' 😂

I don't want to be a martyr, but also don't want to be squished or knocked. A very kind man in a seat heard me so then I had to squeeze through everyone to sit down and make a nuisance of myself, so squeezed through saying 'oh what a pain, I'm so sorry, thank you so much' etc etc.

Don't get me wrong - I was beyond grateful for the seat - but sometimes you really do feel like you're making a huge fuss and people are thinking 'well it's you that decide to be pregnant and you that decided to try and get on a train during rush hour sooooo.....'

@LauraLooDerby

There are LOTS of people thinking that 🙄 but we don’t live in the 50’s anymore, where pregnant women left the house only by choice (or to run errands that could be done out of peak times).

Phoning work like ‘yep can’t come in again today - still pregnant’ - that’s not an option 😂🙈 anyone who thinks a heavily pregnant woman travels during rush hour because they fancy the thrill of being jostled and squashed, are morons! I’m 16w and would AVOID rush hour at all costs!

However, our modern society (😒) does put a huge emphasis on ‘choice’ and ‘responsibility’ so I’m pretty sure a lot of people think 🤔 well it’s your CHOICE to be pregnant and that’s not my RESPONSIBILITY. There’s nothing to be done really- we belong to a generation who prefer pets to children 😡

You have as much right to be on the tube as anyone else does, LauraLooDerby.