To be annoyed by commuters ignoring 'baby on board'?

[puffingalong]

I think the title summarises my gripe. The baby on board badge is not really working (sometimes it does, but not at rush hour and not the majority of the time). I could believe that the badge isn't noticeable enough, I don't think it's difficult in my case when you include my ginormous bump (I'm 7 months and my bump is on the large side, the rest of me pretty small).

In my experience, the majority of people sitting in the seats for disabled/pregnant/elderly people just don't bother looking up to check if anyone else needs those seats more than them.

I know I could ask for a seat but I'm too British! Has anyone found any fun shaming tactics for this situation?

It’s a Transport for London scheme.

FFS. Don’t blame a nationality for your lack of ability to assert yourself.

Just ask. Bollocks with this “too British”.

If I was in s priority seat, I wouldn’t get up for you.

Because I have cancer, and on the days when I’m In a priority seat I am having treatment side effects that utterly wipe me out. Way beyond anything oregnancy did to me.

As I haven’t lost my hair, you wouldn’t know by looking.

Pregnancy is not the only reason to use a priority seat.

If you need a seat and none are available, then ask the carriage at large. At least with a bump you will be believed if you do so. I don’t really stand a chance as I look ‘normal’

I did ask and was told, no, it's your choice! I was also elbowed out of the way to get to a seat when 8 months and when seven months but large bump, told to stand up and yet younger legs sit down by a man in his fifties with no visible ailment (may have had one), but I was in an ordinary non priority seat and there were literally hundreds of non pregnant men and women sat all around me. Ahhh London

*let older legs sit down...

If you need a seat and no one notices then just ask.

I didn’t find any ‘fun’ shaming tactics - I approached the people sitting in the priority seats with a big smile and said ‘if you are able to stand would I be able to sit down please?’ Very occasionally someone identified that they needed the seat but mostly people leapt up.

Either ask for a seat or stand. But "fun shaming tactics"? Nice.

You need to politely ask for a seat. If I am on the bus on my way to work I will happily give my seat to you or anyone else who needs it, but if I am on my phone studying (which I often do) I'm not going to look up at every flipping bus stop just in case someone comes on that needs a seat

Like other posters have said, just ask! I rarely travel by train and avoid looking at other passengers so I probably wouldn't notice you and definitely not some badge. If you tried some 'fun shaming tactics' with me I wouldn't be moving, I'd just pretend I hadn't heard you.

when seven months but large bump, told to stand up and yet younger legs sit down by a man in his fifties with no visible ailment

I hope you refused @LionelRitchieStoleNyNotebook!

I think a general request for a seat is your best bet. I would always offer for anyone who was struggling (for any reason not just pregnancy) but would of course move if the carriage was asked generally.

I think it's a bit mean to use shaming tactics as this happened to us.

A group of ladies got on and one was pregnant (no visible bump) and the whole group stood over my male friend making loud comments and generally being horrible (I think they'd call it fun shaming). My friend was really distressed but had just been diagnosed with ms and was exhausted, the behaviour of those ladies compounded his despair and is something neither of us will ever forget. He did get up and was very wobbly. When another seat became available the non pregnant friends dived on it with no thought for others.

For anyone with invisible disabilities making it difficult to stand in London you can get special blue badges to wear, if you feel comfortable doing that which I know not everyone does.

Cry 🤷‍♀️

Please ask. I’m on another planet on the tube, I’m usually reading or listening to something and paying to attention to what’s around me, as you say. It’s a small amount of quiet time in my day and I’m not on high alert for anyone who might need to sit down.

Just ask. And stop looking for passive aggressive shaming options

@Soontobe60 it’s a Travel for London scheme giving out badges to pregnant women saying Baby on Board. They’ve been around for a fair few years now and are very common and recognisable in London. Aim is to avoid women having to ask for seats because people can see the badge

Op you are being ridiculous

Ask for a seat if you need one

‘Fun’ shaming tactics though? You are the rude one in that case.

For god's sake ask for a seat, there is nothing so frustrating as people who will bitch about not being given something they haven't asked for. After I had major surgery my grandad who lived in another country died, and my family needed to go to his funeral so I went to stay with my boyfriend which involved me catching a train across London alone while very very wobbly and delicate. While I was sat on a seat at kings cross (back when there were very few seats) this old woman came up and stood in front of me and started staring, tutting at me, loudly commenting on how rude people were for not offering seats, clearly all directed at me. If she had actually asked for a seat I would have explained why I couldn't give it to her and I'm sure someone else would have offered, but no, she chose to be passive aggressive for no reason and make the journey even more stressful than it already was.

Are you a journo?

Unfortunately you to ask - but I know it's difficult. I struggled with my first baby.

On one memorable occasion I was so pregnant that as the bus lurched my 8mth pregnant belly made contact with the face of the women who had been siting staring at my bump for the past ten mins She tutted and asked me if I could be more careful

I don’t get the logic that just because you’re pregnant you need a seat. Some pregnant women are fine to stand.

If you need a seat, ask. A badge just informs people you’re pregnant, it doesn’t say you want or need a seat.

It’s super hard as my (outwardly fit and healthy) sibling has an invisible disability that makes standing on public transport just as difficult/ uncomfortable as an 8 month pregnant woman (I’m pregnant myself btw)

He would be devastated to be ‘shamed’ and his MH can be fragile (in regards to his disability) at the best of times!

That doesn’t change that 90% of people sat in those seats are keeping their head down and avoiding eye contact BECAUSE they don’t want to give up their seat and rely on the ‘invisible disability’ stigma stopping others from asking them to move.

I know it’s not practical in London (I’ve lived there) but I do believe the responsibility is on you here, if you can’t travel without having a seat you need to find an alternative to public transport as a seat is not guaranteed and can’t be relied on! Unfortunately it’s often the same for those with hidden disabilities!

DH and I have made several trips during my pregnancy that I would usually train, but I won’t use the train anymore as I KNOW I can’t rely on a seat (even when booked) and that people won’t automatically move for me

Xx

It’s well-known that people on pubic transport don’t talk to each other spontaneously, or even look at each other. Call-me-Tony Blair once travelled on the tube (to pretend to be like the rest of us), and was completely ignored. A badge can be hard to spot when everyone is studiously averting their eyes. In any case, if a seated man did start helpfully looking at standing women in case any of them needed a seat, the thread title might be “AIBU about creepy man on the tube looking at me?”.

Some pregnant women are fine to stand.

Some aren't though. I found my balance was affected so although it wasn't uncomfortable for me to stand I was quite wobbly.