To be annoyed by commuters ignoring 'baby on board'?

[puffingalong]

I think the title summarises my gripe. The baby on board badge is not really working (sometimes it does, but not at rush hour and not the majority of the time). I could believe that the badge isn't noticeable enough, I don't think it's difficult in my case when you include my ginormous bump (I'm 7 months and my bump is on the large side, the rest of me pretty small).

In my experience, the majority of people sitting in the seats for disabled/pregnant/elderly people just don't bother looking up to check if anyone else needs those seats more than them.

I know I could ask for a seat but I'm too British! Has anyone found any fun shaming tactics for this situation?

Do you need to sit down? On baby #1 I was totally fine from 6 months to 9 months (sick as a dying dog up to then). Baby #4 I was dying standing even 1 minute by 7 months. If you need to sit, ask. But I’d only do it if you genuinely need to.

My boss just stands with her massive stomach in their faces lol

Guessing this didn’t go how the op expected!

I used to ask. I remember saying to one bloke on the tube that I was pregnant. He said congratulations. I said I need your seat if you don't want me to be sick on you. I got the seat.

"Being pregnant isn't a disability. I've had four and I had shitty pregnancies but that was my problem no one else's"

Well it's not my problem that someone is disabled either but I'd still offer someone a seat if they were.

OP, you really do need to ask.

From frequent experience on local buses, I don't think it's usually the case that people aren't aware, or haven't noticed. They plonk themselves in disabled seats even when there are seats elsewhere - often plonking their bag on the other seat - and then pretend to be too engrossed in their phones to notice some poor old dear with a stick, or someone heavily pregnant, who's having to stand.

If anyone then asks them to move, it's not usually a case of 'Oh, sorry, I didn't realise...'. - more often a case of an eye roll.

And please don't anyone tell me they may well have a hidden disability. So often I've seen such people (almost always young) jump on and off the buses like mountain goats.

Omg ....I was travelling on a train in one of my last outings...heavily pregnant and the train was packed ....I didn't or wouldn't expect anyone to give up there seat ...but...everyone and I mean everyone...looked at the floor ..if I glanced at them or caught there eye they hurriedly turned away or eyes down xx I found it quite amusing x mum was disgusted in people x

Unfortunately not everyone is interested in your baby bump or need for a seat.

Some people are just selfish.
Others have got lots going on and are unintentionally selfish because they're caught up in their own thoughts /not looking around them.

Just ask. I imagine the majority of people will happily give their seat to you.

Being meek will never get you anywhere

While there are a fair few rude people on public transport, I see quite a lot of nice people around too.

The numbers of obviously pregnant women I've seen standing while everyone remains engrossed in their phones are in the minority.

YANBU. I'm a Londoner & have had two children in the last 2 1/2 years. I wore the badge religiousl, as a Man ince defensively said "I would have stood straight away if you had one of those badges on" when I asked (apparently the huge bump wasn't obvious enough).

Obviously there are people who need the priority seats too, but in my experience those seats are usually occupied by people perfectly capable of standing.

I disagree with previous posters that say you should always have to ask. It's simple human decency...if you choose to sit in a priority seat then you should be alert to those getting on/off of transport & should offer the seat to anyone clearly in need. If you don't offer, you're a selfish arsehole. If you don't want to be alert o those boarding then stand instead. You should not need to be asked when theres a big sign next to your head telling you to do so, and when another person is clearly in need & you clearly are not.

That said, I was very 'British' too initially & didn't like to ask. Eventually I took to making eye contact & politely, but relatively loudly, asking "Is anyone here able to stand?" while pointing at my bump/badge. The wording takes into account any hidden disabilities.

And yes, asking loudly does use some shaming tactics... frankly, some people should be made to feel ashamed of their selfish behaviour.

*religiously
*once
(Typing distractedly while feeding a baby & wrangling a feral toddler. Bloody annoying that I can't edit typos)

‘Fun shaming’ how bizarre just ask for a seat.

If you need or want to sit down then ask .

If you are old enough and brave enough to have sex, you are old enough and brave enough to ask for a seat!

Mother of two asked for seats each pregnancy.

I have had 3 dc and just managed when heavily pregnant, if I needed to sit down I'd ask, I don't think shaming people is the way to go.

I used to stand in the middle of a packed Nothern Line train and say "I'm 6 months pregnant and I need to sit down, please can someone give me a seat". Cue embarrassed faces. Usually somebody would stand up for me.

Middle aged men were the best - probably fathers themselves. Young men were the worst.

"I disagree with previous posters that say you should always have to ask. It's simple human decency...if you choose to sit in a priority seat then you should be alert to those getting on/off of transport & should offer the seat to anyone clearly in need"

I agree. I never sat in the priority seats anyway but if I had done, I would have been checking all the time.

Yes, there may be hidden disabilities etc but surely the majority are not disabled. They're just hoping no one will ask.

Try to find an alternative way of travelling - the bus? May take longer but more likely you'll get a seat.

So presumably the idea of the badge is that people will offer a seat, rather than to just take care & not be pushing you about for example?

I'd take the badge off.

You'll have far better luck.

A badge? FFS.

And I most certainly don't want an 'I have cancer' badge. It's hard enough as it is, without wearing a fucking badge.

OP, if you need a seat then ask.

You need to ask and then you will get. Being offered a seat is great and all but if nobody has offered you a seat them you need to go near priority seat and loudly ask everyone. Generally even if the person on the prioritiy seat can’t / won’t get up, the person next to them will.

Just a word of caution to those engrossed in their phones, as I witnessed a man snatch a phone, from someone sitting in the end seat, and leap off the train just as the doors were closing. He then stood grinning on the platform as the train pulled away.

A quick google shows how common this is. Since then I have always chosen a middle seat if available and paid more attention to my surroundings.

I have noticed recently, usually younger men offering me a seat. I want to say ‘just exactly how old do you think I am ’. But what I actually say is ‘thank you, but I am fine standing’.

I never recognize the Londoners described in these sort of threads.

In 20+ years of daily commuting on the tube I've never seen someone actively refuse to give up their seat to a pregnant woman. I've frequently seen people offer their seat without being asked.
I never had to stand when I was pregnant, provided it was noticeable (that was before the days of badges).

What has changed is that people are engrossed in their phones. They might not look up. Just ask for a seat. Its not a big deal.
There's no point getting all righteous about it.