To be annoyed by commuters ignoring 'baby on board'?

[puffingalong]

I think the title summarises my gripe. The baby on board badge is not really working (sometimes it does, but not at rush hour and not the majority of the time). I could believe that the badge isn't noticeable enough, I don't think it's difficult in my case when you include my ginormous bump (I'm 7 months and my bump is on the large side, the rest of me pretty small).

In my experience, the majority of people sitting in the seats for disabled/pregnant/elderly people just don't bother looking up to check if anyone else needs those seats more than them.

I know I could ask for a seat but I'm too British! Has anyone found any fun shaming tactics for this situation?

Fun shaming tactics? When you haven’t even asked? That’s not very nice is it?

Why do people have to make such a drama out of every little thing these days?

Just ask nicely op, most wont refuse.

I think by "fun shaming tactics" the OP probably meant things that would give her satisfaction by imagining them rather than literally throwing a bucket of red paint over someone who doesn't get up!

One of my proudest moments with my son was when we were on a packed train from London to Brighton after a pretty tiring day. We were standing. A woman got on on the next stop who was an amputee and on crutches. She asked us if we could rearrange slightly so she could "prop herself up" in the corner. My son went to one of the tables sitting down and asked them "would one of you please be okay to stand so this lady on crutches can sit down." It wasn't priority seating, but one of them did stand up.

But you have to use your voice. People these days are very inclined to just be in their own little bubble of phone-and-earphones.

I agree that addressing a group rather than one individual works better. It doesn't feel as confrontational. I would also use language such as "Hi there, really sorry to ask but I am in a lot of pain right now, would anyone be able to stand so I can sit down?"

I definitely wouldn't rely on a badge. So many people funnel in and out of London every day and wouldn't have a clue to look unless the scheme was nationwide.

@iVampire have you considered the ‘please offer me a seat’ badges? They’re for people with “invisible” conditions that might need a seat for something that isn’t obviously pregnancy/disability/being elderly. A friend has one and she finds it really useful.

Oh come on. I'm the first to offer a seat if it looks like someone needs it but there's no way in hell I'm looking at you enough to notice your blinking badge. If you need a seat just ask

No drama at all just ask but as people said to a crowd not an individual .
I wouldn't be looking at what your badge says .
I'm reluctant to offer after being at the train station a woman ( being a woman irrelevant offer anyone ) was struggling with massive case on the stairs offer and she was proper rude I CAN MANAGE she shouted so don't bother now .

On one of my last days at work, there was a discussion about this in the staff room and several people made it clear that they don't get up for pregnant women because they didn't get them knocked up/they should have saved enough not to work during pregnancy/they've paid for a seat just like them/especially not getting up if they're young or unemployed/probably better for them to stand up anyway. These were teachers and other school staff.

Ask!

It’s not “British” it’s passive, which isn’t good.

Jesus. You’re going to be a parent - you need to grow up. If you need the seat ASK for it. Goodness sake dont shame someone for sitting in it when they might have an invisible disability etc or could even be pregnant also.

Just stand in the carriage and say ‘can someone give me a seat’ and in my experience several will jump up.

Some pregnant women are fine to stand.

Some aren't though. I found my balance was affected so although it wasn't uncomfortable for me to stand I was quite wobbly.*

Well duh. Follows if some can stand, some can’t. Or I’d have said all pregnant women can stand.

You don’t know which are the ones that are fine and which aren’t by looking though. So you need to ask if you need a seat.

Sound like you’re obviously pregnant, so why a baby on board badge anyway?

If you have a hidden disability, you can also get a sunflower lanyard

You don't use 'fun shaming tactics' (wtf). You use your ability to speak.

Yes. littletopic I got a ‘please offer me a seat’ badge as soon as TfL launched them, and have a ‘cancer on board’ badge before that from the charity.

I don’t always remember to have them with me - symptoms aren’t constant and I like to forget I’ve got it from time to time (and when well, I will not be in priority seats!)

I’m in good nick at the moment, so fingers crossed that lasts

I remember an article by a woman who did an experiment asking people for their seats; if I remember rightly most of them did stand for her, although they nearly all looked at her belly to see if she was pregnant.

I have one of the tfl 'please offer me a seat' badges (heart condition) and I always just ask politely if whoever is in the priority seat and not wearing the badge themselves if they would mind if I sat down. Rarely anyone says no, and then the person opposite or next to them offers.

I do remember being 7 months pregnant in the priority seat and a very elderly lady started tapping her walking stick on my leg to indicate I should get up and she could sit down. The whole carriage jumped up to offer her a seat!

Yes please just ask. But don't go to someone and ask them to move, just make it a general request. People should not have to explain why they need a seat more than you do.

You're pregnant, not the high ruler of the universe. I rarely look up when I'm on the tube, I would have no qualms (or shame) being prompted. I often asked for seat on the tube, usually first trimester as that's when I needed it, I felt stronger and less sick the bigger I got (personally).

Put your big girl pants on.

If I notice someone who looks as if they need a seat, I offer - whether I’m in the priority seats or not. But as a pp said, it’s not always easy to see if the train’s packed. So far better to ask.

People should notice and in fact TFL have campaigns telling people to “look up” to see if someone needs the seat more. Although the number of people, particularly Middle Aged men who would sit in the priority seat and pretend to be asleep was astounding

Op my practical advice is wear the badge, take off coat or jacket And scarves etc as otherwise bump may only be obviously visible to a very limited direction. And if you want a seat I would talk in the direction of the first 3 seats on one side in a cheery voice something like “is there any chance someone could let me have a seat?” And normally at least one will spring to their feet. And then thank them with a big smile. Doing it with a scowl and air of entitlement Or anything approaching shaming (“so you’re all happy to let a pregnant woman stand are you eh” to nobody in particular) REALLY won’t be as effective and will piss people off.

For passengers who otherwise need a seat I would recommend the “please offer me a seat” badges. Whilst they are no panacea I’m sure normally I’ve seen people leap to their feet on seeing one.

I asked for a seat a fair few times during V early pregnancies when felt dizzy and faint, people always agreed.

Just ask for a seat. Someone will stand up. If you commute on a train, you are allowed to sit in first class if no seats are available in second class.

You need to ask op.

People have their own lives and aren't constantly scanning for s badge!

Shaming people? Why is that necessary? Commuters in London have their heads buried in smart phones books newspapers etc, just politely ask someone if they would mind.

None of those people owe you a seat unless one of the commuters is responsible for getting you pregnant.
If you want them to do you a favour and give you their seat if you're feeling rough, ask nicely.