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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed by commuters ignoring 'baby on board'?

354 replies

puffingalong · 10/10/2019 07:02

I think the title summarises my gripe. The baby on board badge is not really working (sometimes it does, but not at rush hour and not the majority of the time). I could believe that the badge isn't noticeable enough, I don't think it's difficult in my case when you include my ginormous bump (I'm 7 months and my bump is on the large side, the rest of me pretty small).

In my experience, the majority of people sitting in the seats for disabled/pregnant/elderly people just don't bother looking up to check if anyone else needs those seats more than them.

I know I could ask for a seat but I'm too British! Has anyone found any fun shaming tactics for this situation?

OP posts:

dreichsky · 10/10/2019 18:07

Excuse me do you need this priority seat? Should work fine. If they do they can say yes, if not then they can get up.

TabbyMumz · 10/10/2019 18:25

"TabbyMumzsorry but your point is rubbish. Baby on board badges and 'please offer me a seat' badges are there exactly because the bump/disability might not be visible. I know with me early stages pregnancy feeling nauseous/faint with more people bashing into you as they cant see a bump (not even a bump stops a lot of people but...) was exactly when I needed a seat on public transport."
The thing is @sundowners, lots of people feel sick and dizzy on trains for whatever reason, should there be a badge for every condition?

DirtyWindow · 10/10/2019 18:28

@TabbyMumz the "hidden disability" badge just reads "please offer me a seat" so it does cover every condition.

TabbyMumz · 10/10/2019 18:42

Dirty window....the point I was trying to make (possibly badly) is that anybody can feel sick or dizzy at any time, not necessarily from a hidden disability as such, so are we all to wear badges?

pinkcardi · 10/10/2019 18:50

I've been pregnant twice in London and commuted daily on the Northern Line, I have to say that 80% of the time people would let me sit down.

And on the 20% of occasions that they didn't I would ask if I needed to, in a general 'If you don't particularly need a seat I wondered if I could sit down as I don't feel very well' I was never refused.

I agree that if you are in the priority seat and don't particularly need it you need to be aware of someone that might need it more. I'd always prefer to stand than sit in this seat, too stressful!

pinkcardi · 10/10/2019 18:51

And to those posters mocking the 'twee' badge they were introduced after a lady lost her baby after being whacked in the stomach by a heavy bag whilst traveling in London. Nothing twee about them

BIWI · 10/10/2019 18:53

I can't understand the mentality of those posters on this thread who have mocked the badge and people who wear it

NetflixAndWine · 10/10/2019 18:59

Just cough or sigh a couple of times while rubbing your bump... usually did the trick for me!

Micah · 10/10/2019 19:00

And to those posters mocking the 'twee' badge they were introduced after a lady lost her baby after being whacked in the stomach by a heavy bag whilst traveling in London. Nothing twee about them

Where did you find this out? I lived In london when they were brought out and as far as i know it was in response to demand rather than any particular incident...

TabbyMumz · 10/10/2019 19:07

Pincardi....awful story, but I dont see how a badge would have helped? I'm presuming (maybe wrongly), that it was an accident like the train suddenly jolting or something? Or was it that people think if she was sat down it wouldnt have happened?

pinkcardi · 10/10/2019 19:09

@Micah I read it somewhere that was official looking. Doing bedtime, let me see if I can find the info and post a link

pinkcardi · 10/10/2019 19:11

@TabbyMumz I think she was shoved out of the way by someone and the bag hit her square on the stomach.

I think they were introduced to make people more aware, rather than because in this case having a seat was necessary.

Again, will find the info once the gremlins are in bed!

TabbyMumz · 10/10/2019 19:22

Biwi....I think it's not mocking so much as trying to debate the reason why some pregnant women feel they need to wear these badges, when in a busy carriage there could be any number of people with reasons to have a seat, so does any one condition trump another? Some people even saying they would knock passengers with their bump to get a seat, which if the poster is right as to the reason why the badges were introduced (apparently because someone's bump got hit by a bag), is sort of defeating the object. Lots of people do have invisible disabilities so some of the behaviour mentioned on here is awful.

Micah · 10/10/2019 19:24

I’ve googled and can’t find anything.

It would need to be a fairly serious whack to cause someone to lose a baby? They’re fairly well protected in there...

AllDaySnacker · 10/10/2019 19:25

Ask nicely and I expect most people will jump up in embarrassment... and if you meet the occasional prick, then hopefully someone within earshot will give their seat up for you. A 7-month belly is shaming tactic enough for anyone who refuses :)

pikapikachu · 10/10/2019 19:25

You have to ask. Sometimes people need them as much as you but it's not obvious that they do. In the case of London, there's a high probability that people are tourists who wouldn't understand what baby on board meant. The badges should really say something more direct like "I need a seat please. Thank you" I witnessed a man getting abuse when he offered a seat to a woman who he assumed was pregnant but wasn't. In the ensuing argument between them he shouted that he'd never offer to a female again"

I used to take the Bakerloo line and never got offered a seat. Even more shocking was the man with a guide dog not being offered a seat. He only travelled 3 stops but he really shouldn't have to stand.

Tbh I needed the seat more when I was newly pregnant than when I was 9 months. The smell of people's BO and coffees had me 🤢 every morning to the extent that I'd defiantly sit on the floor to stop myself from puking into my sick bag.

Drabarni · 10/10/2019 19:26

Ask for a seat, I wouldn't bother with a badge, I'd willingly move for you though.

FudgeBrownie2019 · 10/10/2019 19:28

Just ask. At rush hour in London (and most other places) there's not even enough space to notice a sign let alone read it. Ask for the seat.

TabbyMumz · 10/10/2019 19:39

@pikapikachu...why was sitting on the floor defiant?

pinkcardi · 10/10/2019 19:42

Here is the link www.theguardian.com/uk/2004/oct/14/politics.transport

It was a campaign in 2004, with the badges being trialed in 2005 and then rolled out

pikapikachu · 10/10/2019 19:42

Because there's limited standing room and a person sitting on the floor is taking up more space than a person who his standing.
Defiant is not really the right word- it was more a fuck it attitude. (Fuck it because it's dirty on the floor m, the space thing and because I'm the only person doing it)

VanGoghsDog · 10/10/2019 19:48

I had to sit on the floor the other day on the train because I came over all faint and didn't think I could carry on standing. But I was in the bit where the doors are so not very near seats so no-one sitting down noticed. The man next to me gave me a dirty look as I very slightly knocked his bag as I slid down the wall.

I once had to lie flat on the floor on the train due to feeling faint. That time a chap did ask me if I was OK. I was, sort of. I wasn't pregnant either time!

user1480880826 · 10/10/2019 19:50

People deliberately don’t look up when the train stops at a station because they don’t want to give up their seat. You really need to start asking people I’m afraid.

saraclara · 10/10/2019 19:57

Has anyone noticed if one sex is more likely to offer seats?
I don’t live in London but was on the Tube last week when a bloke with two sticks got on. Both I and my female neighbour immediately offered our seats. As he sat down he said to us “It’s always women who offer”.
I wonder if that is generally true.

Nope. It's young men. Almost always. Then middle aged men. Hardly ever women. Women are the last to give up a seat.

BIWI · 10/10/2019 20:05

@TabbyMumz I get that - but people here have mocked it

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