To say that if you can’t take a simple pregnancy test without help, you shouldn’t be considering parenthood.

[TottieandMarchpane]

What is it with all the numerous “can you help me with a pregnancy test?” and “line eyes!” threads?

Parenting is much harder than PingOAS and looking for a line. If you can’t manage this, you’ve fallen at the first hurdle.

Jackieofstrode and I am reporting you for such a horrible comment

Haha!

I don't mind those sort of threads at all. I only joined MN after my first scan so haven't created a thread like that. The pregnancy itself had happened despite taking a MAP within 3hrs of a condom failure! So when I took my first test fulling expecting it to be negative (which was really quite obviously positive as I was actually 7weeks already!) It still took me genuinely several hours to get my head around it - re looking at it, re reading the instructions doing the other test in the box, thinking I must not being seeing what I can see etc etc Had I been a MN user I may well have posted something out of sheer shock and confusion. There are lots of situations where someone may start this sort of thread, they are clearly titled so if it irritates you - don't comment. I don't have any pets so i don't frequent the threads about them - I don't start a thread to say how annoying people are who post about their cats!

Yanbu. I think to a large degree it’s attention seeking as more often that there’s a definite line. I don’t understand it

What is there to understand though? That some people use a forum in a different way you might?

Who cares if that is for attention or genuine help or whatever?

@TottieandMarchpane you are deliberately goading, despite your forced denials.

This is clearly a hugely emotive subject (think of all the forum users who have suffered miscarriages etc) but you are blithely wading in with a completely unsolicited opinion on whether these folk deserve air time to discuss their hopes and desires, and receive some small comfort from others.

No one's day would be bettered by reading your opinion on pregnancy tests, but a few people might feel a hell of a lot worse. That's a good reason not to post and to keep your lofty opinions to yourself.

YABU.

What is there to understand though? That some people use a forum in a different way you might?

No it’s obviously not that. I don’t understand why people start these threads when there’s either a definite line ( even if it’s faint ) or it’s negative.

Now you mention it @Talcott2007 there are semi-regular threads that come up in active with titles like “My boy’s died!” and when you click on them to offer some pathetic attempt at support they turn out to be about cats or dogs.

So, yes, vague titles generally are an issue.

TottieandMarchpane you are deliberately goading, despite your forced denials.

Oh good. A man’s arrived to explain my thoughts to me, in manly, imperative style.

Spiffing

Some people have poor eyesight. Some people are excited and don’t want to get excited about something they’re worrying they’re wrong about.

That’s another totally fair point @Hurtsrighthere

This is clearly a hugely emotive subject (think of all the forum users who have suffered miscarriages etc) but you are blithely wading in with a completely unsolicited opinion on whether these folk deserve air time to discuss their hopes and desires, and receive some small comfort from others

That’s the chance you take when posting on a public forum though, surely? Most of these types of threads are from women testing way before their period is even due!

On the whole I agree with you to some extent - I just think your initial post was a bit

I've been there. I've never posted one because, well, it never entered my consciousness to do so. But I do distinctly remember testing probably too early and getting a faint line and asking my then DP and mum to look.

Fundamentally this is a site that attracts trying to be parents/parents and that's part and parcel of the demographic.

Aw it's a shame when we dismiss people's excitement and hope as irritating. The title is usually pretty obvious so you can avoid if needed.

Parenting involves empathy. If you have this much difficulty having empathy for those experiencing anxiety and uncertainty, you've fallen at the first hurdle.

On the whole I agree with you to some extent - I just think your initial post was a bit hmm

That’s fair comment @NigesFakeWalkingStick I did overstate it a bit.

So, yes, vague titles generally are an issue

At which point once you discover the subject matter you simply close a thread you're not interested in, no?

I don’t understand why people start these threads when there’s either a definite line ( even if it’s faint ) or it’s negative

Support. Someone to talk to. Trying to get a bit of hope. Trying for a bit of attention.

Whatever the reason though, I just don't think it matters. The onus isn't on posters to stop posting simply to stop irritating others when there's plenty of ways you can avoid reading stuff that isn't for you!

@TottieandMarchpane

That is the most silly rebuttal of an argument I've ever read on here.

You can't read my criticism of your stance, because I happen to be male?

Apologies for being the sex that I am.

My DW suffered two miscarriages last year - shall I get her to post exactly the same thing on here, only she's female so you can read it?

You could just y'know... scroll past?

People put threads up all the time about subjects that annoy me, subjects I'm not particularly interested in, subjects I think are ridiculous.

I just don't read them. It's really not hard.

@gindaddy you weren’t making an argument. You were telling me what I think. Very male, overbearing communication trait. You’re purporting to be able to read my mind. Spoiler; You’re failing.

All you’re doing is making me skip over the larger part of your posts.

The first time I ever peed on a stick I was pregnant. A very faint line came up, I wasn't sure if it counted because I'd never seen one before, I thought it was barely there.

Mumsnet told me it could be seen from space, and gave me my first congratulations. I was alone and couldn't tell anyone else for over a week.

The thing that bothers me about those threads is whether my fellow posters are driving without glasses as well as posting without them.

Between the people asking if there is a line, when it's as wide as the strings that held up Muffin the Mule, and the people insisting that there is a line when there damn well isn't, I'm rather scared of crossing the road!

I did overstate it a bit

I would say "you shouldn’t be considering parenthood...If you can’t manage this, you’ve fallen at the first hurdle." is not simple "overstatement" - what's the softer version of this argument?

@TottieandMarchpane

I'm not purporting to read your mind. I'm telling you that you come across as goady.

If you don't like that, then continue to ignore my opinion, or block me by continuing to cite my sex as a reason for not reading.