To say that if you can’t take a simple pregnancy test without help, you shouldn’t be considering parenthood.

[TottieandMarchpane]

What is it with all the numerous “can you help me with a pregnancy test?” and “line eyes!” threads?

Parenting is much harder than PingOAS and looking for a line. If you can’t manage this, you’ve fallen at the first hurdle.

*And of course pregnancy loss.

I must admit that didn’t cross my mind. I apologise*

Thank you. But this is quite an ill timed thread as It's actually baby loss awareness week at the moment.

I posted mine when it was positive. I couldn't believe it. I have PCOS and was told it would be very difficult so when I finally saw those lines I couldn't believe it. I also wanted to share my excitement but it was "too early" to tell real life people so I told Mumsnet people. Most of them were lovely.

@DappledThings that advert annoys me. DH laughs at me every time it comes on. She's so confused!

Low-carb diets do make you a bit grumpy. So yeah, maybe have a biscuit and a nice cuppa to start the day less grumpy at 06:59.

@smartcarnotsosmartdriver I think that's the crux of it; sharing anonymously online when the timing isn't right to tell people IRL can be a real support.

I've never posted any myself, but I can sympathise with those who have.

Is OP wrong to be annoyed by, or dislike the threads? Not at all. However for OP to claim you're not a fit parent if you do post a 'line' thread is judgemental and offensive.

I kinda see your point.
But I've also been there with pregnancy test, you want something so bad you can't trust your own eyes so you ask a friend, family members, a lot of people don't have that option!
They're excited and it's a strange and overwhelming time for a lot of people that they need to share with someone ..I get it. I can't get annoyed about it.

Yeah you’re mean. Just let people get excited/anxious/nervous and share it with others. Don’t read the threads you don’t like.

I'm sorry you're baffled by such a simple concept OP. I can suggest two ways in which MNHQ might assist you:-

1. Creating a subject line for threads so one can check what a thread is before one opens it, thus avoiding subjects which irrationally irritate.

1. The ability to close down a thread without having to read it all, thus avoiding subjects which irrationally irritate.

Line ones are fine. But I agree that the “I had unprotected sex two weeks ago, checked my app and turns out I was ovulating, have sore boobs and keep crying, can’t get to a shop for a month to get a test, tell me strangers online if I’m pregnant” are attention seeking and daft.

Having peed on a ridiculous number of sticks in the years we were ttc I also always eye roll at that advert. Chumps.

The threads themselves don’t annoy me, it’s other posters claiming to see a non-existent line and saying “Congrats hun!” when there’s a distinct possibility it’s actually a negative or chemical.

I don't mind them, people like to talk about what ifs. I do feel a bit frustrated when people ask from symptoms rather than testing but it's still a hope thinf. Isn't it?

I mega dislike the get a digi tests posts. They're crap tests only out there to bleed hopeful people dry. If a standard test isn't picking up hormone, one of the bloody things won't for definite.

Oh I struggled, but I’m not given to flapping.

OTOH, you can’t flap and freak out when you’re in charge of small children...

Psychopaths never flap and freak out but most don't make great parents ...

For me seeing those 2 lines was like winning the lottery for years and years I'd convince myself there was something there... I think sometimes you just need someone to tell you your actually going mad!

100% @December2019 - I think it would be pretty standard if you had a winning lottery ticket to pass it to someone and go ‘omg can someone check this for me?!’

I think it’s sad you’re so aerated about it OP but that may be me being sad as AF has arrived today after 8 months of trying and I’m fed up. I read a few of them this morning, it was nice in my gloom to see it happening for others and knowing our day will come eventually.

You are being really mean. When I got a positive, I hadn't taken any tests before and neither me nor my husband could believe it.
I guess I wanted conformation because I couldn't believe my eyes!
And yes, we did flap!
Now we are very calm parents to a nine month old boy.
Your post is very mean-spirited.

When I was ttc back in the dark ages pregnancy tests were a lot more straightforward, but then again I don’t think they were designed to work so early on in pregnancy.

Can I add to this the really irritating advert with the couple who between between apparently can't read the result and have to go back in time and but a digital one instead.

I didn’t post such a thread as being discussed here but I was completely baffled by the clear blue test I did - it was the first test I’d ever done. The cross had one very dark line and one very faint grey line with no colour. DH and I spent an embarrassingly long time staring at the instructions feeling unsure.

It was only when I looked at the box again I realised that the dark line was the vertical pregnant line and the horizontal faint one was the one that’s there either way. Turned out to be twins.

I’m an intelligent woman with a degree. It happens.

I'm not a bloody sycophant! If I see a line then I say that! This thread is odd.

People who've taken a long time to conceive need some reassurance...others are just excited...or nervous. Nothing wrong with that!

I don't think you've come across the best way here but I sort of agree with you but for a different reason. I think these threads give women false hope with all the congrats I can see a line, when there is nothing there. I could get my husband to pee on a stick, post it here and someone will see a line. I also think they encourage women to test earlier than they should. The advice is not to test too early, very early miscarriages are common and testing so early to then have your period start at the normal time or only a few days late must be heart breaking if it happens again and again.

Do you think the propensity to resort to personal abuse in a debate makes you a better or worse parent?

Don't you think questioning people's ability as parents based on pregnancy test threads is personal abuse?
I do.

YANBU because the support and hand-holding they are looking for is anxiety they don't want to share with family and friends, possibly over and over again, and hear well-meant but hurtful platitudes. Not been in the situation but it's obvious to me that they aren't inept, just desperately hopeful.

Did it ever occur to you that people are just bursting with excitement and just want to put it out there somewhere, anywhere, and talk about it in any form? Also it’s not inconceivable that people don’t really know what they should expect to see in terms of a line and whether even a really really faint one means anything at all.

Be kind op.

YANBU. I was thinking the exact same thing. As long as people stick it in the conception topic that's fine.. but elsewhere does my nut in.

I actually think someone who gets so irritated by people who are hoping beyond hope that they are pregnant and asking for fresh eyes to look at a test is far worse than those looking for clarity.

Yanbu. I think to a large degree it’s attention seeking as more often that there’s a definite line. I don’t understand it.