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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say that if you can’t take a simple pregnancy test without help, you shouldn’t be considering parenthood.

239 replies

TottieandMarchpane · 10/10/2019 06:59

What is it with all the numerous “can you help me with a pregnancy test?” and “line eyes!” threads?

Parenting is much harder than PingOAS and looking for a line. If you can’t manage this, you’ve fallen at the first hurdle.

OP posts:
Original poster
TottieandMarchpane · 10/10/2019 07:30

I think maybe you’re overreacting a tad @LaBelleSauvage

OP posts:
Dongdingdong · 10/10/2019 07:31

I can see why people take the tests early, but personally I think it’s best to wait until your period is at least a couple of days late - just to save the mental anguish.

It’s awful when people think they see a line and then their period arrives the next day.

Chillyourbeans · 10/10/2019 07:32

Hmmm maybe it's those who can't manage a little empathy who shouldn't be considering parenthood...

LaBelleSauvage · 10/10/2019 07:33

@TottieandMarchpane the irony is palpable

madeyemoodysmum · 10/10/2019 07:33

When I open the post I’m thinking ooh I wonder. Then I can speculate to myself or imagine the couples happiness or disappointment. It’s a bit like a online game Then I forget about it and move on.

That’s technology for you

Original poster
TottieandMarchpane · 10/10/2019 07:33

Absolutely with you OP. the line is there or its not and you don't need a load of strangers to clarify it especially when it's the darkest fucking line you've ever seen. Sigh

Exactly that. Every one I’ve ever bothered reading has been like that. Or else an “I feel odd, can’t get a test because complicated reasons, tell me if I’m pregnant, Mumsnet!” one.

Of course, if someone prefaced it all with “I know I’m a being a bit nuts but we’ve being TTC for five years” or whatever, you give them a pass.

OP posts:
MustardScreams · 10/10/2019 07:33

It’s not a lack of empathy to suggest a) wait for your period and b) test a few days later.

I know trying to get pregnant is an emotive and stressful time, but common sense doesn’t need to fly out of the window.

Original poster
TottieandMarchpane · 10/10/2019 07:34

When I open the post I’m thinking ooh I wonder. Then I can speculate to myself or imagine the couples happiness or disappointment. It’s a bit like a online game Then I forget about it and move on.

Aww. That’s actually quite sweet, TBH.

OP posts:
ilovetofu · 10/10/2019 07:34

Why read these threads op 🤷‍♀️

CormacMcLaggen · 10/10/2019 07:36

You seem to read a lot of these threads you profess to dislike. How odd. I wonder why you're flapping up about them so much?

@LaBelleSauvage Grin I think the irony is wasted on OP.

Original poster
TottieandMarchpane · 10/10/2019 07:36

Partly because I always forget what “line eyes” means until I read another one @ilovetofu Blush

OP posts:
Damntheman · 10/10/2019 07:37

It is a lack of empathy though to suggest these people shouldn't be parents if they can't handle the two week wait without getting stressed MustardScreams.

Ohyesiam · 10/10/2019 07:37

It’s being goody because you are saying
I get it right, why do these silly desperate people whose circumstances I know nothing about , behave so differently to me? I don’t give a fuck that they need support and connection by going on a forum, I just want to bolster myself by slagging them off.

It could be said that lack of kindness, empathy, understanding and insight are incompatible with parenting.

MustardScreams · 10/10/2019 07:39

@Damntheman possibly. But the 2ww is the absolute tiniest portion of parenting. It does make me wonder how people cope with other, much more distressing aspects of life.

Aridane · 10/10/2019 07:40

This reply has been deleted

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Lweji · 10/10/2019 07:42

There's often quite a lot of anxiety around conceiving.
And if you can't understand that and have some sympathy towards people who have such anxiety, then maybe you shouldn't be a parent.

Oysterbabe · 10/10/2019 07:43

It's ridiculous to suggest that because they want some opinions on a test they won't be good parents. The TWW can drive the best of us a bit potty.

theretheirtheyrenotno · 10/10/2019 07:43

Shouldn't be considering parenthood ......

What an utterly ridiculous statement!

Original poster
TottieandMarchpane · 10/10/2019 07:43

I don’t know @Aridane

Do you think the propensity to resort to personal abuse in a debate makes you a better or worse parent?

OP posts:
Fournearlyfive · 10/10/2019 07:45

I had a very dark line as I didnt test until about a week after I was late (irregular anyway)

But I did wish my GP still confirmed pregnancies. I went into my first scan half expecting them to say I had never been pregnant and asking why on earth I had thought I was (daft I know). It was just a weird time in my life with all sorts of thoughts and feelings going on. And I rarely "flap".

HalfBloodPrincess · 10/10/2019 07:45

I posted mine. Tbf it was on a ttc after pregnancy loss thread and I guess I just wanted the clarification from others that I was not just imagining what I was so desperatly wanting to see.
I imagine it's the same sort of thing for others so I dont begrudge them starting a thread.

Original poster
TottieandMarchpane · 10/10/2019 07:45

I know trying to get pregnant is an emotive and stressful time, but common sense doesn’t need to fly out of the window.

Yes, that was my original line of thought.

I do accept that infertility - where that applies - can drive people a bit screwy, though.

OP posts:
TheoriginalLEM · 10/10/2019 07:46

I don't think you are being goady per se but you are showing yourself up tbh

Original poster
TottieandMarchpane · 10/10/2019 07:47

And of course pregnancy loss.

I must admit that didn’t cross my mind. I apologise @HalfBloodPrincess Flowers

OP posts:
WalkAwaySugarbear · 10/10/2019 07:48

I did one of these threads 😁 I'm perfectly capable of reading a test, but at the time I wanted a second opinion on whether my eyes were playing tricks on me, I thought it'd be better to ask a load of strangers online than take the test around my office. We weren't trying so I wasn't entirely sure how I felt about it so emotionally all over the place.
I'm an excellent parent as it turns out.