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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if perimenopause is making me hate my husbanc

187 replies

Everythingnotsavedwillbelost · 07/10/2019 20:52

kind of light hearted but not

I am 46 and I can barely stand to be in the same room as him. Everything he does irritates the total fuck out of me and I never want to have sex with him again 😬

I have noticed he makes this weird clicking noise when he speaks and it makes me want to throw things 😬

We’ve been together 20 years but if this is perimenopause, I don’t think i can stand it as everything he does annoys me 🙈

Aibu? I feel a bit unhinged

OP posts:
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Doingtheboxerbeat · 07/10/2019 21:15

I would say yes, most probably. I'm single (because I wouldn't wish me on my worst enemy) but even then, I have blown up at friends and family in the last couple of years. I'm 47 and child free.

lifeforus · 07/10/2019 21:15

I thought it might be the perimenopause making me hate mine, but I'm starting to realise he's just a twat.

Aquamarine1029 · 07/10/2019 21:16

Peri-menopause can make you hate puppies.

Windydaysuponus · 07/10/2019 21:16

I am 48 and this sums us up atm...

To ask if perimenopause is making me hate my husbanc
Aquamarine1029 · 07/10/2019 21:16

BTW, I highly recommend HRT. It makes you human again.

donethinkin · 07/10/2019 21:19

Going through the same thing. I’m 48. I can’t bear to look at him! The way he looks at me with this woe is me puppy dog look just makes me want to scream. Everything he does and says is annoying. The way he eats an apple. Why sit next to me and eat an apple? I don’t want or need to hear/see that. I didn’t agree to listen to him eat apples for 20 years. So yeah possibly menopause but it’s not the menopause’s fault that men eat like animals. Plus they stink. God knows why any woman ever lets a man touch her.

Ohyesiam · 07/10/2019 21:20

Yes, that sounds about right. Lamberts do a supplement called Fema45+ which has largely handed me my life back.

Original poster
Everythingnotsavedwillbelost · 07/10/2019 21:25

@lifeforus 😂 I feel like that too

OP posts:
CleverLoginName · 07/10/2019 21:27

Me too. About to turn 47 and if I never had sex again I wouldn't care. We are happy being a couple and I'm lucky he isn't highly sexed either. Maybe he's in the male version??!

I find myself easily irritated and have periods where it all gets too much.

Maybe I too am in the start of the big change

Hassled · 07/10/2019 21:31

I'm intrigued by the weird clicking noise. Is this a new thing? Which part of him clicks - tongue against teeth?

But yes, it's possibly hormonal rage. And I second HRT - I was either furious or sobbing before I started taking HRT.

PorridgeAgainAbney · 07/10/2019 21:33

Me too. From the moment we get up the moment we go to bed I pretty much hate everything he says and does. It could just be that he's an annoying bastard but there are other menopausal symptoms as well so I think it's likely due to the latter. I seem to spend my whole day trying not to tell him to fuck off (at least when DS is in earshot) Angry.

HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo · 07/10/2019 21:36

I got waves of rage at DH, the DC, everyone and anyone. It was just a boiling surge of anger. I got Menopace and it all stopped.

snozzlemaid · 07/10/2019 21:40

Oh my. This is me as well. I'm 47.
The tiniest of things are irritating the fuck out of me. If he could hear what I say in my head all the time he'd be long gone.
It's so difficult though working out if I just don't love him anymore or if it's peri menopause. My only other symptom is insomnia. I've no idea about my periods as I have a coil fitted so don't have them anyway.
Maybe this is why I hate him atm.

lifeforus · 07/10/2019 21:41

At least once a week I fantasise about being single (and we have been married a long time) but when even the sound of him breathing makes me want to punch him, I do worry we are reaching the end of the road.

StormyLovesOdd · 07/10/2019 21:43

This is me too, we've not had sex in months as I don't want DH touching me. I can't even stand it when he sits next to me.

I can't have HRT because I had breast cancer a few years ago.

Itsallpetetong · 07/10/2019 21:45

I was a complete nut case at 45. I was completely irrational, easily angered, often tearful and became so anxious & depressed. I was just about to go to the drs to ask about HRT to ease my symptoms when I finally got my hysterectomy date so needed HRT anyway.

I am like a new woman!

amatsip · 07/10/2019 21:50

So it could be this that is causing me to think of divorce every time he sniffs in rather than blows his nose.

33goingon64 · 07/10/2019 21:54

Ohyesiam is the 45+ supplement ok to take if you're a few years younger than 45 and have no proof at all you are perimenopausal but have certain symptoms, like the anger described here?

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 07/10/2019 21:55

HRT is the answer people. I seriously thought I was gonna have to get divorced (for the second time) after less than 6 months of marriage. I feel normal again and I don't hate him any more (well, not all the time anyway Grin)

SallyOMalley · 07/10/2019 22:00

Oh my. I can't tell you how happy I am to read this. I thought it was just me - thank God it's a thing.

And that cartoon pretty much nails it!

ChickenyChick · 07/10/2019 22:01

I did not sign up either for 20 years loud apple munching Grin

Doingtheboxerbeat · 07/10/2019 22:01

I'm going to starve off from the HRT until it reaches crisis point and I have lost every friend I ever had. After reading these, I am so glad that I opted to stay single after I broke up with my last partner. I still have male attention and younger friends who insist I need a partner Angry.
Bless em Hmm.

Lollypop701 · 07/10/2019 22:04

I think I might not be going mad after all!

WhataLovelyPear · 07/10/2019 22:09

I'm another one. Luckily it comes and goes so I know it's me but the eating sounds make me murderous, his out-of-tune singing makes we want to storm out of the room and his attempts to diffuse the hostile atmosphere by being witty do precisely the opposite.
In between I love him to bits.

FloraMacDonald · 07/10/2019 22:12

Me too. 46 and fantasise daily about DH realising how I feel and him leaving me. It would be so much more peaceful. I don't see the point in him anymore.