To ask if perimenopause is making me hate my husbanc

[Everythingnotsavedwillbelost]

kind of light hearted but not

I am 46 and I can barely stand to be in the same room as him. Everything he does irritates the total fuck out of me and I never want to have sex with him again 😬

I have noticed he makes this weird clicking noise when he speaks and it makes me want to throw things 😬

We’ve been together 20 years but if this is perimenopause, I don’t think i can stand it as everything he does annoys me 🙈

Aibu? I feel a bit unhinged

NearlyGranny thank you so much that was beautifully written. It made me smile and gives me hope that the other side of this horror will be good.

I can already see some changes, less tolerance and less people pleasing, so will wait for the rest to arrive....

Stinky head . .I'm crying

Me too romany Then I thought... could it be a fungal follicle type thing? Like athletes foot? Could you ask him to wear some type of head covering, one like this maybe?

This is so me! I am 47 and have gone as far as checking how much child maintenance I would get.

If you take HRT does your period come back?

The one I'm on stops your periods entirely. Have had nothing for nearly a year.

Well that's information I could have done with ten years ago.

@Mummaofmytribe Can you give a rough idea of private cost?

A year ago my GP told me that they could do a test to measure your hormones and establish whether or not you are peri - just this week she told me that isn't the advice anymore as the hormones fluctuate so much the reading wouldn't be accurate. So how are you supposed to know if you are on the Peri Road?

I'm 53 and loathe my husband, he talks about the dog incessantly and insists on using the washing machine even though he destroys all the clothes.Last night I came home and he was shaving in the kitchen with a clean tea towel round her s neck.It's let me living with my grandfather. I've lost track of when we last had sex, could be 6+years.Recently I decided I would have an an affair with a very old boyfriend of mine but at this stage he may be similar.

namewithchange I'm not in the UK any more, so I really Don't know what you'd pay there. Sorry I can't help.
My GP and gynaecologist have both said they don't bother with blood tests any longer for the same reasons you just said, so I went with my gut which was telling me this absolutely has to be Perimenopause .
I did have blood tests for other things which were all negative, so there really doesn't seem to be any other explanations for my symptoms.
Best of luck.

The NICE patients’ guidelines are useful before going to your GP:

www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng23/ifp/chapter/About-this-information

I've had horrendous periods, bleeding very very heavily for months at a time. Feeling very low and very sad. Feeling very tired. Feeling very angry, and being unable to tolerate people especially my DP. I've asked to go on HRT and the Gp I was seeing agreed. I was later phoned up by the practice womens health Dr who said as I wasn't having night sweats they wouldn't prescribe me HRT. Doesn't seem right to me, but tbh I just can't be bothered to argue with them. She was pretty firm in her tone with her refusal and she made me feel unreasonable for feeling upset that no one would help me. However I was told I could either go on the pill or have a Hysterectomy to cure my extremely heavy periods. I refused both.

Sadly my periods lasted longer than my knees and other joints.

Last one was at Christmas. I've had an easy year(ish) but so much rage in the past couple of weeks that I'm not convinced I'm through, yet.

Libido really has gone walkies, though. The motor in my vibrator has probably seized up through lack of use :o

Oh, god, the white van man hollering! 10 years ago I would have been flustered. I just find the bottom of my barrel of sheer contempt and flip the bird, now.

That barrel of contempt has become so potent. I scare myself.

I'm 53...I see you rages, hatred and wanting to be alone and raise you all of those and hot flushes and itching...

I certainly became very impatient with any bollocks and nonsense.

My GP did a blood test around 6 months ago to see if I was going through the menopause but apparently not, although my periods have been 6 weekly rather than monthly for a year (and much lighter, I used to flood for 3 days). Now I haven't had one since the beginning of August. No other symptoms really apart from screaming something along the lines of 'I'm too old for this shit' several times a day.

I am doing a lot of exercise though which must be helping, definitely helps with low mood and energy levels are better because my iron levels must be better due to less periods. Not sure if it's the exercise or my hormones having a last hurrah but my relationship with DH feels like we're back in the honeymoon stage! Hope it lasts and I'm getting off lightly.

Definitely recommend exercise, and organic coconut oil for dry, itchy bits. That was a revelation!

If I never saw him again it would be too soon. I live for the two conferences he goes to each year- three day one in the UK in October and a five day one abroad in November. This year it’s so far away he’ll be gone six days. Seven if he crashes at a hotel the night he lands rather than driving straight back. Fucking bliss. Free from his Stu-I’d ineffectual meddling and teenage boy style strops off he doesn’t get his wat with a cherry on top. Fucking diddums.

And his head dyes the pillows yellow. FFS

I'm menopausal, single, on HRT and have noticed an increase in my sex drive. Am I the only one?

Oh this thread 😂 I can relate so much. My eyes rarely stop rolling.

It's weird that so many people have mentioned their OH being suddenly really clingy. Do you think they feel us pulling away maybe?

So from this thread I’m getting a common theme. 1) men are cunts 2) why don’t they just fuck off.

I think I love you all

I used to have the most brilliant life before I met him and before menopause! Now I feel like I’m going insane on a daily basis. Mine decided to give up his job and “work from home” which actually means “sit on the computer playing” all day long at the time my menopause started. I get no space from him unless I leave the house. He never leaves the house unless he walks to the newsagent for milk. What happened to the interesting, out and about man I married with an interesting job that meant we got to go to parties! I’m fucked off that this is my life, there’s no end in sight unless I divorce him and then I’ll end up a miserable old woman on my own. There is basically no workable solution! HRT means I’m not killing anyone though so that’s a positive.
Anyone who gets fobbed off by their GP, for God’s sake pay and go see a private gynae/ menopause specialist. Worth it. Also join a local support group. We need each other.

Nothing I have read tells you about the DH irritation but yes to all this. He has also developed a habit of pretending not to hear or understand what I say. I used to repeat or explain things - now I just can’t be bothered.
He drives me mad in bed - he seems to have taken to sleeping within a millimetre of me, breathing on me so I feel hemmed in . Elbows are very handy in this situation.
I’m on anti depressants for mood swings which help. I did ask about HRT but was told it was more for hot flushes - which is about the only symptom I don’t get. Should I go back and be more insistent?

oliveowl we have the same pillow problem! Wtf is that? He washes his hair daily so why does this happen?? My pillow is fine!

Fuck yes the yellow pillow.
Grrr.
Why are so many doctors such cunts about hrt? Mine did a blood test and checked my FSH levels. I was well under 45 though, so I'm not sure if they check over 45-I think doctors are supposed to go by symptoms but they should know that hot flashes are no the only bloody symptom!

What helped me was that my doctor was a 50 year old woman, plus the fact I was in early perimenopause.
That and she wanted to keep my husband alive, for some reason.

He says “heads are oily”. Well whatever it is doesn’t wash out.

I bet if you all described what it was these irritating dhs are doing, it would be bad whether viewed thru perimenopausal lens or not. So many men are so selfish.

I'm about ten years younger than everyone but yes, this is it.

I started taking some Menopause supplements and now I feel better, I don't cope well with hormones :-/